Paint Me A Better Life

Chapter One

Exhaling, the smoke clouds around me and then dissipates just as fast. The night sky is as black as the ash coming from the cigarette in my hand.

It's late October, so the night is colder than it was a few months ago. Zipping my black leather jacket up a bit, and lacing up my combat boots again I get a move on. I have a fight to win in about twenty minutes, and this one I can't loose. I need the money to score, I haven't had any all day and I'm going crazy.

Last week was the first time I'd lost a fight in three months, and of course I had to loose it to Eric. Of all people. But tonight I'm hoping to get my streak back this week.

"Four!" I hear someone shout, making me turn. I see Zeke- my best friend running towards me. He's the only one who knows the real me, and everything about me.

"Hey man." I say as we walk together now.

"I heard that Eric's gonna be there." Zeke tells me, lighting a cigarette of his own. The orange flame illuminating his face, and the smoke floating up into the air.

"Why the hell would he be there?" I ask, stomping on my cigarette and shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Probably to throw you off."

"He shouldn't even be there, I mean I know he won but he's not fighting tonight." I point out, getting pissed off.

"Yeah, well just don't look at him or think of him." Zeke says, and I nod.

Zeke lives in his own apartment, with his girlfriend. Shauna- I've met her a couple times, and she's real nice. And I think she's a good person for Zeke, unlike me. Zeke was like me years ago though, hooked on drugs and almost always high. But he got into rehab, something I could never pull myself to do.

He's offered me their spare room, rather than me sleeping in the alley's. Or even those few times I'll spend the night at a hotel with some prostitute. But I've never taken him up on the offer, I want to live on my own. Not taking things I know I can't pay back from people.

"Good luck man." Zeke says, hitting my back in a playful way before finding a place to watch. I walk up, hanging my jacket up and out of the corner of my eye being able to see Eric.

There's no real 'ring' but it's all set up in a huge open area between two brick abandoned buildings. People come here to either watch, bet, or score. Because everyone knows that some of us has stuff on them. I normally get mine from a gal down the street.

"Don't screw up again Four!" Eric yells, walking up to. His eyes bloodshot, and he reeks of vodka. But his smirk is the same one he always wears.

"Would you just fuck off?" I snap, my hands clenching into fists.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? But I think I'll stay, to watch you loose again." Eric tells me, and walk off before I can wrap my hands around his neck, and squeeze. God I want to kill the guy.

It had to be him that I lost to, shaking my head I walk over the center where we fight, waiting for my opponent. He walks up, across from me. At first sight, you wouldn't take this man to be a fighter. He's thin and looks like he holds barely any muscle. He's got tattoos up one arm, but still he looks like a boy. A young one at that.

"This your first fight?" I ask, cracking my knuckles, even with the noise around us, its like each crack echoes.

He looks scared. That's the look, fear blown into his eyes.

"No." He says, his voice shaky and unsure. I almost laugh at this, a man, scratch that. A boy like him, shouldn't be out here fighting. He should be home, studying for some geek science test.

"Sure bout that?" I ask, smirking. Knowing that I'm intimidating him, getting him right where I want him. Vulnerable.

As the fight starts, it's a blur. That's how you know it's a good fight. When all else fades, and it's so easy that you don't have time for pain or worry.

My punches hitting his face, his stomach and even his back. At the end of it all, my opponent lays in a bloody and close to vomiting mess. My knuckles are the only thing bleeding, few cuts on them. Nothing like his injuries.

I smile a little as I go to retrieve my money, needing to get out of here. Needing drugs in me, that's all I'm focused on now.

Taking the money I stuff it in my pocket and go to grab my jacket.

"Nice job man." Zeke says, slapping my shoulder.

I laugh, "Thanks." I tell him, as I walk quickly out of there.

"Four!" Zeke yells catching up to me.

"Why don't you come over tonight." He offers.

"Thanks Zeke, but I got to go do something." I tell him, and see his face change. Disappointment flooding his face, but by this point in my life... I'm used to that look.

"Four, Don't you think it's time to give that stuff up?" He asks, his voice softer.

I stop walking and turn to him. "I'm not like you Zeke, I don't have enough to help me get through rehab."

"What are you talking about?"

"You had and you have Shauna. She helped you, she kept you going when you were struggling. She never gave up on you, especially when you were getting help. I don't have that." I tell him.

"But Tobias." Zeke says, using my real name. He's always known it, but he doesn't use it unless he has to.

"You have me. I'm going to be there for you dude, you know that." Zeke says, in that tone of trying to reach me.

"I know. And thank you. But I'm not ready." I tell Zeke, and walk off.

Walking the streets of Chicago at night, is something I'm used to. I'm accustomed to the cold that skims over the city, as the sun goes down and the moon is the only real light. Beside the crappy street lights.

Reaching the old building, with a cracked painting on the side I walk in.

"Lex?" I call out, my words bouncing off the walls. Ceiling lights hang and rock back and forth, some working, some not.

"Came back for more huh?" I hear that female voice I know as Lexi's. Her voice soft but holds a certain rasp.

I turn to see her, walking out of the dark shadows into the little light I'm standing in.

"I got money this time, and I haven't had any all day. I need some." I tell her desperately, as she walks closer to me.

She's wearing a skin tight pink dress, her stilettos probably on the floor somewhere. The ones she always wears. Her make up heavy yet sexy on her. She's an escort, but deals on the side.

"What you got for me?" I ask her.

"What do you want?" Lexi asks, her manicured nail sliding down my chest. She looks up at me through her mascara covered lashes, biting her bright pink lip. The single finger making me feel that familiar feeling inside. Not butterflies, not love, lust. Pure lust.

I don't answer but instead take hold of her wrist and press my lips hard against hers. Backing her up against an old board, holding her there.

We'd done this about three times since I found her, and starting buying from her. Sex and drugs, some days just drugs but some days it was both.

That night made it four, and I got my money worth of drugs. For me... for my life... it was a damn good day.

A/N: Hey all!! New book... Chapter one ✔️ :) I hope you like it and will continue to read, let me know your thoughts and opinions! Luv to all!❤️