The Eldest Brother is a Pervert

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It's already known through some kind of weird brotherly telepathy, that the sextuplets are all low key perverts. Some more than others, but after Todomatsu's incident and his apparent belly button kink, the brothers kept their sinful desires to themselves. All of course except for the eldest, Osomatsu, who really has no shame. Like really, no shame at all.

On one lazy Sunday afternoon, Choromatsu was in the living room reading a magazine, searching for job offers, or at least trying to. A few feet away from him was Todomatsu on his phone, obviously updating one of his many blogs, and possibly flirting with online strangers. A habit he should probably get rid of. Osomatsu was probably somewhere in their house, doing whatever it is he usually does; Jyuushimatsu and Ichimatsu went out to "play" as the fifth younger brother called it; and Karamatsu was, as usual, on the rooftop looking for some inspiration. All in all, it was quiet, and a nice way to relax on this lazy Sunday afternoon. That was until Osomatsu came into the living room whining.

"Aw man, I really wish I had a girlfriend..." Osomatsu slumped against the door frame.

Without looking up from his magazine, Choromatsu sighed. "Worry about getting a job first, before getting a girlfriend."

Osomatsu sneered at Choromatsu, "Ehh? I really don't want to hear that from someone who doesn't have a job himself."

Choromatsu sideways glanced over to Osomatsu. "At least I'm trying to get one, by looking through this magazine."

"And how's that going so far, fappymatsu?"

"Stop calling me that!!" Choromatsu slammed the magazine on the table.

"Jeez, you guys are so loud..." Todomatsu looked up from his phone. "No wonder either of you are able to get a job, nonetheless a girlfriend either." The youngest then proceeded to go back to his phone, probably aware of what he just started with his older brothers.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Osomatsu said in what seemed to be a low growl. "It's not like you have a girlfriend, right Totty?"

"Hm? You're still talking to me?" Todomatsu grinned to himself.

"H-Hey he just avoided your question..." Choromatsu pointed out.

"He did... Didn't he?" Osomatsu replied to Choromatsu, then turned backed to Todomatsu. "T-Totty, you don't actually have a girlfriend, do you?"

"Hm? Did I say that?" Todomatsu puts a finger to his cheek in a cutesy way, clearing getting a kick out of all of this.

"TOTTYYY!!" The eldest and third eldest cried in unison. Osomatsu began shaking his younger brother rather too rough for his liking, "You don't actually have a girlfriend do you? Do youu?!"

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Todomatsu tapped on Osomatsu's arm repeatedly until he stopped shaking him. "I don't actually have a girlfriend! Not with brothers like you!"

Choromatsu put a hand on his chest. "T-That kind of hurts..."

"Ahh..." Osomatsu sighed as he laid down the floor. "But really, where can I get a girlfriend? What's there not to like about me?"

"Everything." Said Choromatsu and Todomatsu in unison bitterly.

"Osomatsu nii-san, why do you even want a girlfriend in the first place? It's not like you have a job, good looks, or any redeemable points about you."

"Totty you're really hurting my pride you know."

"He has a point you know." Choromatsu said as he picked up his magazine off from the table.

"What?! You guys are so mean, treating your older brother like this!" Osomatsu whined as he rolled around on the floor. "Don't you guys want a girlfriend too? Aaaaahh I want a girlfriend, I want a girlfriend I want a girlfriend!"

"Osomatsu you're being annoying!" Choromatsu yelled, as Todomatsu only gave Osomatsu a pitiful look. "What would you even do with her anyways?"

"Pervy stuff, of course."

"Don't just add "of course" to that you idiot!" Choromatsu smacked Osomatsu on the head with his magazine.

"Ow! What, why not?!" Osomatsu sat up and rubbed his forehead where he had just been hit. "I want to be able to do ***, ******** and *** ******."

"AARGH!!" Todomatsu covered up his ears, with a horrified look on his face. "Don't say such vulgar things Osomatsu nii-san!"

"Eh?" Osomatsu said in a taunting tone, "Todomatsu this is coming from you who has a belly button kink."

"Don't kink shame me!" Todomatsu shouted defensively, despite his ears turning pink.

"You guys stop yelling! What if someone comes in?!" Choromatsu spat.

Osomatsu and Todomatsu both looked at each other, then at Choromatsu. In sync they both smirked, and at that moment Choromatsu realized his brothers were going to act like jackasses to him.

"Oh? Trying to act all high mighty now, huh?" Todomatsu  leaned on Choromatsu's shoulder, much to his discontent.

"Don't worry about it!" Osomatsu leaned on Choromatsu's other shoulder. "It's not like one of us are going to be caught jacking it off, oh wait that already happened."

The eldest and youngest could feel their brother shaking with anger beneath them. They both grinned at each other.

"Hey, Choromatsu, what's your type of girl?" Osomatsu sneered again, and pulled up a photo he snuck from Choromatsu's personal items. "Is it this Nya girl you like so much?"

Choromatsu felt his face pale and tried to grab the photo back from his older brother's hands, to which he failed miserably. "Her name is Nya-chan!"

Todomatsu cheered and clapped his hands happily, "Uwah, the eldest brother truly is the most reliable!"

Osomatsu made his usual snarky grin, as he kept waving the photo away from Choromatsu. "Heh, heh, of course I am! But man, Choromatsu your tastes are kinda bland... She looks kind of plain."

"Don't talk about her like thaaat!!" Choromatsu continued to try and pry his beloved photo from his asshole other brother. 

"Aw, Choromatsu, you're defending her! If I were a girl, I'd say that's almost manly of you!" Todomatsu teased.

Osomatsu waved the photo in front of him, "Ah, but if it were me, I'd prefer a girl with a nice ass..."

Ah. There it was, the start of Osomatsu's old man dirty talk. Both Todomatsu and Choromatsu stopped what they were doing and gave Osomatsu the Jyuushimatsu eye look, you know the one. "Osomatsu... What was that?"

"Eh? I said that I'd prefer a girl with a nice ass..." Osomatsu made round motions with his hands to make a shape of a butt. "Do you know what you could do with nice asses?!" Osomatsu stood up, and looked like he was about to give a very important presidential speech. Except it was about asses. And it was probably going to sound very stupid, perverted, or both. Todomatsu and Choromatsu tried to save themselves from hearing this idiocy, but it was too late, as Osomatsu already began to run his mouth.

"You can just squeeze the shit out of them! And I don't mean that literally! When you're having *** you can just grab them and see them ****** while you **** and *** in or out of her *** or *****! ***** ***, literally and figuratively! ***** were the first thing man would ever **** when were ******!!" Osomatsu continued to ramble on without noticing that Todomatsu and Choromatsu had already left the room.

By the time dinner came around, the brother all sat around their dinner table, ready to dig in. Jyuushimatsu, being as he usually is, asked loudly, "Osomatsu nii-san! What did you do today?!"

Both Choromatsu and Todomatsu choked on their food, and tried to swallow it down before their eldest could reply, but alas, the eldest was already one step ahead of them.

"Good thing you asked, Jyuushimatsu! But first lemme ask you, what do you think about asses?"

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