Matsu Box

Onii-chan

As the self proclaimed leader of the shitty brothers, Osomatsu strongly believed that whatever he says, goes. Considering that he always has the upper hand in things. At least that's until his younger brothers pull the "onii-chan" card. It seemed to work for everything for the younger brothers, all except for poor Karamatsu.

No matter how many times the second oldest would try to get the upper hand on things with his only older brother, calling him onii-chan just didn't work. Instead it was apparently funny to Pringles Original. The cutesy term was apparently just too weird for the eldest to take when it came from the second eldest's mouth. Karamatsu had no choice but to sit there in envy as his younger brothers got away with anything under the red brother's rule with the 'onii-chan' line.

Osomatsu once joked around, these were his words to Karamatsu, his breath, breathtaking ratchet with the smell of beer: "If you somehow turned into a cute little sister then maybe it'd worked on me!"

To which Choromatsu slapped him upside the head, twice, and Karamatsu, actually took his words seriously.

Needless to say, that didn't end well. To put it simply, there was vomit, a banana peel, stolen underwear, and the police were called. Not exactly my ideal Friday night, but to each their own I suppose. Either way, Karamatsu had been trying a number of sorts on trying to get the upper hand, or least catch his only older brother off guard.

"Ah, woe is me." Karamatsu strummed his guitar on the rooftop. "Why is that I can never win?" He strummed again, and began singing:

"Why is that my brother will never look at me

Why is that so

Aren't I one of your little brothers too

How come they can call you onii-chan but when I do

You just laugh and push me aside?

AAAAAAA

IT'S SO VEXING

AAAAAAA

WHY THE HELL DOESN'T IT WORK FOR ME

THERE'S NOT THAT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE ANYWAYS WE ARE ALL SEXTUPLETS SO WHY DOES EVERYONE ELSE GET SPECIAL TREATMENT BUT ME

AAAAAAA

I'M SO PISSEDDDDDDD-" It suddenly became a screamo song. Karamatsu then got hit in the head with a can, followed by a "Holy shit, shut the hell up!" from some unknown person.

Then, suddenly, as if a spark of brilliance hit him, (really, what was in that can?) Karamatsu had an idea. This will definitely do it, he thought. He cleared his throat and went back inside the house.

Inside the living room, Choromatsu, Osomatsu, and Todomatsu were lazing about. Upon Karamatsu's entrance, no one looked up to see him, or greet him. After clearing his throat five times, Choromatsu finally looked up.

"Ah, Karamatsu nii-san, you're back." He eyed the guitar in his older brother's hands. "Back from the roof I see."

"Heh," Karamatsu smiled and walked over to Osomatsu, ignoring Choromatsu.

"Pft, Choromatsu nii-san you totally just got ignored." Todomatsu sneered at the green brother, but he didn't reply. Todomatsu waited for a response and then realized that Choromatsu was ignoring him. Wow. Osomatsu, who had been laying one the ground with his eyes closed, opened one of them to look up at Kara.

"Hm? What's up?" Although he asks this, Osomatsu doesn't really mean it, or wants to hear the answer.

Karamatsu, cleared his throat and straightened his back. It's starting to look serious. "I have a favor to ask you."

Osomatsu closed his eye again and waved, "Ask Choromatsu." In the background, Choromatsu sputtered.

"No, I can only ask you this."

"I said to go ask Choromatsu."

"Osomatsu."

"Ask Choro! I don't want to get up. Make him do it."

"Aniki."

Dead silence.

Karamatsu waited for a response, and after not getting one for quite a period of time, Choromatsu, and Todomatsu looked over to their older brothers.

"What's wrong with Osomatsu nii-san? What did you say to him?"

Karamatsu looked over his shoulder and shrugged. "I called him 'aniki'."

Todomatsu almost took a spit take. " 'Aniki'?! Ha! What are you, part of some yakuza?"

"Todomatsu. Yakuza aren't the only ones who use that term." Choromatsu frowned. "It's just more... Endearing?"

"I think you might be mixing that up with something else."

"E-Either way! You both get what I mean!"

Todomatsu stood up to walk over to Osomatsu, who laid silently on the floor. "Still, why is Osomatsu nii-san not saying anything?"

"Beats me," Choromatsu replied, then turned to Karamatsu. "Anyways, why;d you call him that in the first place?"

"Well..." Karamatsu paused. Should he really tell them that the reason why he called Osomatsu 'aniki' was that he could try and get the upper hand on him? Yeah, I guess he should. "You see I..." But before Karamatsu could finish his thought, Todomatsu cut in.

"Shit, he's dead." Todomatsu stood up from beside the eldest brother. "Oh well. More allowance for me."

Choromatsu and Karamatsu shared a look before running over to Osomatsu, shoving the youngest to the side.

"W-Wait a minute!"

"What do you mean he's dead?"

"I mean what I mean, he's dead, zippo, gone. Pffbt."

"H-He can't be dead... Dammit, Karamatsu nii-san if only you didn't call him 'aniki'!!" Choromatsu began to shake the older brother's still body. "Osomatsu.. Osomatsu nii-san!"

He shook him some more.

"Open your eyes dammit!"

He slaps him.

"I said open your eyes!!"

Choromatsu proceeds to slap Osomatsu like an annoying fly that just won't go away.

"Wake the fuck up you still owe me 2000 yen! Which is like $20 in other non-Japanese countries!"

Todomatsu rubbed his shoulder where he had been shoved away by. "Geez, Choromatsu nii-san, chill."

"Don't you tell me to chill, you twink."

As his two brothers began arguing, and his eldest brother on the floor dead, apparently, Karamatsu began to rethink his life choices and how ever in the loving fuck this chapter was going to end.