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Juniper;
"Juniper... Why me?"
I lift my head to look at Carl, there's a tear running down his left cheek. But it wasn't real.
"What do you mean, Carl." I grab his face and wipe away the tear with my thumb. His skin is sweaty from sickness, his fever has broken but desolation has replaced it.
"Well, why do you... Like me? Why did you save my life with that medicine, why did you kiss me?" He looks straight into my eyes as another tear wells in his.
It breaks me to see him like this. Someone so strong and persistent, breaking down before my eyes. It breaks me.
"Carl-"
"I mean, why would anyone like the kid with a messed up face, why would anyone like to be in my company. I know I tried to make a good first impression when I ran into you for the first time, I tried to redeem myself so I could stay sane but-, and I know you helped me out but then wanted to send me on my way. Why didn't I just leave?"
"Carl, why. What are you talking about? Just tell me what's going on in your head."
"You won't care... Nobody cares anymore."
"I do care. If I didn't care I wouldn't have gotten that medicine. I know it's only been like a week since we first met but, I do care. Tell me; what's bothering you?"
He swallows back a choked sob, his entire body shivers with sorrow.
Something's making him like this, this is not the Carl Grimes I first met.
"My past." Carl utters. His voice crumble due the weight of the words.
"He dwells on his past as you dwell on yours."
"Your past can't be worse than mine." I pull the chair closer to the bed and touch his shoulder. "You can't have been through worse than me, I'm here for you."
"Juniper... You don't understand- you don't even know what I've been through. And yet you're saying you've been through worse."
"I don't think anything is worse than what I've been through."
"Think again."
"Then tell me Carl, tell me why you're so persistent about this subject. Why do you automatically assume your past is worse than mine?"
"Why do you assume your past is worse than mine?" He spits. His face trying to be solid but failing due to his pallor. And the sweat and tears dripping down his face.
"Don't argue with me Carl. Arguing in pain doesn't soothe it, it makes it worse."
"You have no idea what I've endured."
"Then tell me, your story is safe with me."
Carl looks up at me and blinks hard, forcing tears to fall down his cheek. He gives me a stern look then sucks in a heavy breath, then coughs it out.
"A couple months ago, I lived in this community. We had food, medicine and enemies. We made a good living there."
He gives me a hesitant look and I give him a reassuring nod, gesturing for him to continue.
"When we first came there, we weren't so sure about the place. But I had hope. The walls would hold, the people could learn. I even made friends. I had Ron, Enid, Mikey... They're all gone because of me."
"Carl..." I could see the pain well up into his face. These people, this place, meant something to him. "You don't have to keep going-"
"You wanted to know about my past so I'm telling you. Let me go on."
I nod and gesture for him to keep going and sit back in the chair.
"Story time."
"One day, our enemies came to our door. Shot the place up. My dad was on a run with one other person so I felt as if I needed to take charge. So, instead of retaliating I made everyone grab a gun and hide in a bunker. I was clueless, I didn't know the first thing on how to fight an enemy. All the weight was on my shoulders."
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"I thought they were gone... I thought they were gone Juniper. I let everyone out of the bunker and we made a sprint for the weapons to protect the walls but- they got us. They were shooting people to the ground. My friends, my family. My sister, my people, my problem."
"I'm so sorry Carl,-"
"No," he cuts me off, wanting to finish his story. "I started telling you this because I want you to understand. You don't yet... Let me finish. Now my people were dying at my hands and everyone was going crazy because of me, and all I was doing was running. Not looking back on what was crumbling before my eyes. I fucked up June... And thanks to my choices I don't even know if any of them are alive. My dad, my sister, Enid, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie and her baby."
He looks down at his feet, recollecting everything he just said. He basically just spilled out his life to a stranger. A girl he doesn't know but seems to care about deeply.
"What is he doing?"
He's living.
"Why- it's not your fault."
"But it is June, I was in charge. I was in control. They may be dead because of me. I don't even know where my dad is. He came home to nothing. I ran so far I never even thought about him."
"Carl,"
"You still don't understand."
"Like I said I have a past, and I don't think that any past is worse than mine."
"What did you do?"
"That's a story for another time? Get some sleep. Rest your mind."
.
RATE THE FINALE 1-10 GOGO GO
my answer: 7
I want to kill myself who the fuCk dos he kill
I swear it's probably not Carl but if it is then I fUCKING.
Thank you guys so much for 1,000 sorry for a later update I totally redid this chapter after I wrote it because I had a wacko plot but this plot is better and shit is gonna start goin dOWN in the next few chapters so vote your aSSES off for chapter 9
