Popov.

Popov Ch 10 Dying Time

Chapter 10 Dying Time

This was another collection that was not going as planned.

‘Look I don’t make the rules OK?’ Popov sighed. ‘Just let me take you to arrivals.’

‘One does not go anywhere without one’s iddy biddy sweetums. One absolutely insists that you bring ones’ little poppet along.’

‘Now see here lady, you are dead, right? There’s your body on the sofa.’

‘Chaise longue my dear man and don’t stand on that rug! The last workman that came in here tramped his dirty work boots all over it. One had to send it to be dry cleaned.’ The plump woman, dressed in a tweed skirt and blue twin set, pointed in accusation at his feet.

‘Anyway,’ said Popov stepping off the white fluffy rug. ‘It would seem that you ate one to many peppermint creams and have shuffled off the mortal coil.’

‘One shall sue the company. There aught to be a health warning on the box.’

‘Your little dog however,’ Popov persisted. ‘Has not. Though, if he eats any more of those, he may well be with you soon.’ They both looked down at the Pekinese who was snuffling through the gold foil wrapped chocolates that had fallen to the floor.

‘Now then my naughty little snuggle bunny mummy says no more of those, they’re not good for little poochy woochies,’ the woman said and bent down to the dog which carried on with its eating.

‘The dog cannot hear you any more, you are dead woman. Come along with me.’

‘One must say one thought one would be escorted from the world by a better class of person than you. Not one of those foreign illegals workers are you, taking jobs from our boys?’

‘No, my company has a multiracial disability antidiscrimination zero tolerance policy in place and as a multinational conglomerate employees can be and are sourced from around the globe. My department prides itself on its ethical equality approach to personnel issues.’

‘And approximately how many employees are there in your department?’

‘Uh, two.’

‘Two?’

‘Two,’ Popov repeated.

‘And one takes it that you are not the senior member?’

‘No, that’s -’

‘Then one shall wait until a person of superior rank is available to escort one,’ the woman said in a firm voice and sat down, in her body, on the chaise. ‘Please inform your superior that one requires the company of one’s pet when undertaking any journey.’

‘Madam,’ Popov looked round and leaned in close, lowering his voice. ‘It’s the quarantine regulations see. I didn’t like to mention it, but they are very strict about that sort of thing, upstairs. You don’t really want to have your sweetums kept in a cage for twelve months with out visitor rights now do you? I think he’d be much better left at home for this trip. If you just come along with me now, quiet like, it’s possible I could sneak you back every so often to see him.’ Popov stood upright and spoke in a louder tone. ‘However if you insist on having my line manager escort you to arrivals everyone will notice you, your movements will be logged and there’d be no chance of coming back to see your little puppy again. He certainly wouldn’t allow it.’

‘Oh no, that is too cruel,’ the woman pulled a hanky from her sleeve and dabbed her eyes.

‘So if you’d just like to take my arm we’ll be on our way before the maid comes in, sees your body and screams – no too late,’ said Popov. He watched a young woman dressed in black with a white bibbed apron come into the room. ‘Oh, I forgot about the dropping of the tray and the smashing of china,’ he shook his head as the tray of tea things fell to the floor and the girl screamed. ‘Come along Mrs Parker –Adams.’ Popov held out his hand. The woman ignored the hand but stood, sniffed into her tissue and then blew her nose.

‘One can’t believe it, such a sad thing, leaving one’s life so unexpectedly. Ones’ family not at ones’ side.’

‘Er, you never had any children,’ said Popov taking her elbow.

‘So much to come,’ the woman sobbed.

‘There is,’ said Popov and led her towards the check in desk where angel 9,372 was on duty, sucking the end of one of her wing tip feathers.

‘So you talked Mrs Parker –Adams into accepting her passing did you?’

‘Yes professor.’

‘Hmm, I don’t think she will be allowed to visit her dog but, well done Popov, a fairly clean collection, for you,’ Death said as he leant to open a drawer in his desk.

‘I even got to my next client on schedule even though persuading Mrs Parker -Adams to come with me took some time,’ Popov said.

‘Time is a relative,’ said Death.

‘You mean time is relative, grim one.’

‘No, I mean time is a relative, my elder brother, Chronos, to be exact,’ Death pulled a piece of paper from his drawer and spread it out before him. ‘He will be coming on his annual visit soon. It will be your job to change his nappies and do all the other things that babies need. You are excused collection duties for the period of his stay. This is the list from last year so take it and get everything in. By the end of January he’ll be off on his travels again and you can resume your normal work.’ Death held out the piece of paper.

‘Sorry Your Excellency, I thought you said he was your older brother?’

‘I did and he is. At the end of each year my brother is an old man and as each new year begins he is reborn as a baby. For some reason he has decided that he should always stay with me for this event.’

‘I expect it’s because everyone else is fed up with the smell of poo and sick,’ said Popov. ‘My wife had seven and the smell was enough to-’

‘Yes thank you Popov, I think I know what you mean. Anyway when Chronos gets here I expect you to treat him with respect. But don’t go on any errands for him whatever he says and don’t let him get at the port or any other alcohol. Do you hear me?’ Death gave Popov a stern look.

‘Yes controller.’

Death heaved a sigh.

‘Popov how many more times must I tell you that my name is Death? Nothing else, just Death, please remember that. Now go and make up the blue bedroom for him, you’ll find a cot folded away in there. Air the mattress and wash the duvet covers.’

‘Yes master and, er, you did say well done didn’t you?’

‘Off you go Popov.’