The Lost Outworlders

Kotal Kaught

"Is he dead?"

"I don't know, man. I ain't a doctor."

"Check his pulse or something."

"Are you seeing this guy? Look at what he's wearing, dude. He could be crazy or something."

"So?"

"So I ain't gonna touch him. You check for a pulse if you gotta."

This was the dialogue that Kotal Kahn was met with when he regained consciousness. He seemed to have been knocked out after teleportation. At this moment all he knew, however, was that he was lying on the ground with two teenaged boys staring at him. How degrading.

"Just kick him." He wouldn't dare.

"If he gets pissed, I'm saying you did it."

"Whatever, I just don't wanna be caught with a dead dude."

Kotal felt a nudge on his side, and sprung onto his feet. He grabbed the teen by the face and forced him on his knees. The boy's hand tried frantically in vain to force the Osh-Tekk's hand off.

"You do not touch the emperor without his leave," he snarled at the terrified teen. "Ever."

"Woah, woah, man!" the standing boy yelled with his hands up in surrender. "We were trying to help you, bro!"

Kotal snapped his head towards the other voice. "Is that so?" He did not release the teen. "Pardon me for insulting your expertise, but I do not see how kicking me is helpful." He stared hard at the teenager in his clutches as he said this.

"I'm... Sorry," he managed through the pain.

Kotal released him then. "Tch," he scoffed as the boy fell to his back, nursing his bruised face.

"You," he snapped pointing at the other boy. "Where am I?"

Before the boy could respond, a third teen--this one a girl--appeared. She had a small, rectangular device held to her ear and she was talking to herself, "Yes. Okay. Thank you." At that, she took the device away from her head and put it in the pocket of her--what Kotal thought were shamefully small--shorts.

"Cops and ambulance will be here in a few minutes, Brandon," it was then that she saw the current situation. "Oh, hey," she said to the Kahn, "you're up. Uh, what happened to Tucker?" she added pointing to the rising teenager.

"Big guy tried to rip my head off," Tucker explained scowling at the Kahn.

"You did kick him," the other one, Brandon, pointed out.

"Cause you freakin told me to," Tucker shouted.

The girl and Brandon smiled until they saw the big, blue man with a loin cloth looking at them questioningly.

The girl cleared her throat and spoke, "Hello. I am Tiffany. This is Tucker and Brandon. We mean you no harm." She spoke slowly as though she didn't expect him to understand.

"I speak your language, miss," said Kotal. "Do not take me for a fool." He looked around. All he saw was stone platforms, grass, and strange, glowing posts. "Now tell me, where am I?"

The teenagers looked confused for a moment until one, Brandon, said, "Uh, New Iberia?"

"That tells me little," Kotal responded, "What realm?"

"Realm? Emperor?" Tucker said, dumbfounded, "See, Brandon? I told you the son of a bitch is crazy."

"Watch your tongue, worm!" Kotal snapped. "Or I will have it in my hand."