Triggering Trinity

Monster

(A/N) There's like 4 chapters left to this story and I know you all will hate the ending but I can't help it, love you all though
*Trigger warning*
   A few days had passed and we were back to sleeping in our regular rooms with out the fear of bed bugs attacking us. Gabby's little group was still ignoring Victoria and I but it didn't bother us. Secretly I liked it because it gave me the opportunity to slowly become closer to Victoria. Everyday I found something new about her, little habits that would come unnoticed to others. To the way she twirls her hair when she's shy, to the way she talks slightly in her sleep. Every trait of her was beautiful.

I learned that she waited to be an artist and called herself a struggling one. I had the chance to see her art work, at least the work she made in here. She was extremely self conscious about her work too, she would never give it the credit it deserved. Painting and drawing had became her favorite past time in here. Mean while mine was watching her perform her passion of art. I liked the way she scrunched her eyebrows when she glided the paintbrush over the canvas. The way she poured her every bit of energy into her work was what had me falling for her more and more everyday.

But lately, she had been a bit off. I noticed Victoria wasn't eating regularly and wasn't talking as much. I knew something was wrong and tried to get her to talk about it but she always insisted she was fine and just tired. Not the best excuse but I guess it was enough for her to say to get me to let her alone. It bother me that some kind of conflict was destroying her inside out. I'd do anything to know what she's thinking or feeling.

We were currently sitting in the wreck room, not particularly doing anything but sitting there. I stared at Victoria, gazing outside the window looking at the night sky. Almost as if she was longing for some sense of freedom. Her eyes began to water.
"Hey, hey what's wrong?" I asked as I kneeled down in front of her.
"This was never my intention, so tell me what the fuck did I do?" She sobbed. I felt so confused, not understanding what she meant.
"I don't know what I was thinking, I just wanted to leave. I never meant to almost die. I didn't want that, I don't know what I wanted"

I felt at lost for words. It clicked. She was talking about how she ended up in here, she tried to kill herself. "Trinity. It hurts so much. My chest aches when I think about it and I can't help but feel this heart throbbing pain" she said between sobs.
"Think about what happened before this place?" I asked.
"Trin, I've been through a lot and I don't mean to play pity party or I have it worse. Everyone says time should heal but it doesn't. Listen, I'm telling you this because I can't handle keeping these toxic thoughts to myself" she spoke.

"You can tell me anything, it's between us" I assured her.
"This isn't my first time in a hospital like this, this is my 5th time. Every 4 months or so I end up back in a hospital. The first four times my parents sent me but the last, I did this to myself. I...couldn't handle the stress and bottling up everything. My parents thought I was getting better, and believe me I did too, but..." She stopped, looking away.

"But what?" I asked, urging her to continue. "But, something, someone, made me relive the reason I didn't want to breath in the first place. When I was 12, my mom and dad would go out on date nights. So every time they left, they would find me a babysitter. For the longest time they asked the neighbors to watch me, their son, Erin, was 3 years older than me so I'd hang around with him. We were close friends, he taught me how to play video games and soccer, he was practically my best friend. I trusted him, I told him a lot of my personal secrets which weren't much. One day he invited his other friend over to play with us. His parents were out at store buying things for dinner, and he was in charge of watching me. At first it was fun playing with his friend and him, but then they started...touching..me. I told them to stop and I didn't want to play, but Erin said if I didn't listen to them he'd tell my parents everything I told him. I was scared. They started pulling off my clothes and they took pictures of me on their phones. They dragged me to his room and threw me on the bed, I started screaming but Erin covered my mouth....they both..raped me." At this point I was tearing up with Victoria. How could they have done that to a child, and ruin her in the worst way.

"After they were done, Erin told me if I told anyone, he would hurt me. I cleaned myself up the best I could and dried my tears. I felt so dirty and felt like the long sleeve and pants I was wearing revealed me too much. When his parents got home they noticed my red puffy eyes, and Erin told them I fell outside and started crying. They didn't push the subject further. I never told my parents or anyone what happened that night. A few months later we ended up moving, and I was so glad to know I wouldn't see Erin and his friend any longer. I got over it on my own, it took months, the longest months of my life." I could hear the shame in her voice, as if she blamed herself.

"I hope you know it wasn't your fault Victoria" she looked away from me, like she didn't believe me. "Hey" I lightly grabbed her face and turned her head to look at me, "it was not your fault. You were twelve and scarred, I wouldn't have known what to do either. This, this makes you so much stronger, definitely stronger than me. What they did, was inhumane, and there's a special place for people like them" I said.

"I saw him last month." She said quickly.
"You saw Erin?" I asked. She nodded her head.
"I was at the park, sitting on the bench, when a man sat next to me. At first I just thought it was a random person, not paying too much attention to him. Until he spoke up. He said my name, and when I turned to look at this stranger, I realized he was no stranger at all. He made conversation with me, talking to me like old friends who needed to catch up. Saying him and his wife moved to the town I now live in, the safe heaven which is no longer safe. And there I was, barley able to say audible, two word sentences. Then a little girl ran up to him, throwing her arms around his neck exclaiming 'daddy' I was sick to my stomach. This man, who took my innocents and broke me in so many ways, had a daughter and wife. How could such a man, have a loving family, a family he didn't deserve. I kept thinking, maybe he doesn't remember, but how could he forget? Before he left, he said goodbye and made his daughter say her farewells too. He looked at me and smiled, before leaving he stopped and spoke 'I still have the pictures' and walked away. He was still the person who killed me" tears ran down her face. My heart broke for her.

"Seeing him was poisonous. The nightmares came back. I couldn't sleep, eat or talk for days. It would have been different if he didn't say a word about the past, I would've believed he forgotten, but he knew what he did. He had no shame or guilt what so ever, with what he did to me. It tore me apart to know he still lived off the memory." I wanted to take her pain, but that's not how life works.

"Victoria..I'm so sorry you went through that. I can't even comprehend what you're going through. I wish I could help you, but I don't know how. I can be here for you, and listen to what's on your mind. I'll be there, even if you just have to cry. It's okay, not to be okay." She took my hand in hers.

"A month after seeing him, I lost it. I took random prescription pills we had in the medicine cabinet. I passed out on the bathroom floor, but my parents found me. I ended up getting my stomach pumped, and ended up in here all over again. My parents wanted to know why I tried to do it, but I can't give them the answer. They knew something was wrong with me, but they never knew why" I squeezed her hand, letting her know I was her for her.

"I'm the only person who knows about this?" I asked.

"No." She said.

I looked at her, wondering who else could she have told, and she must have read my mind but her answer was one I didn't expect.

"Gabby knows".

___________________
Ha. Bet y'all didn't see that coming.