Moving Forward (Prequel to Starting Over)

Chapter 1

Tris
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I feel my boots slide over the loose gravel as I sprint out of the bureau and into the street. Adrenaline rushes through my body as I push my legs to run faster, to carry me farther away from the building. I have to get away. They have to think that I died. It's the only way to protect them.  The whole plan depends on this.

As I round a corner onto a side street I fall as my foot skids, sending up a spray of gravel. I land roughly on my knee and feel my pants rip and blood start to bead on my skin. Instead of taking the time to examine it I push myself to my feet and keep running. Time is not something I can afford to waste right now. I'll make sure it's not infected when I get to my destination. It can wait till then.

I feel the reassuring thump of my backpack on my back with every step. I've put anything I could swipe without people noticing in the backpack so I'll be able to survive on my own, for a little while at least. Thankfully that includes a few water bottles, some nonperishable foods, a change of clothes, some hygiene items, and a travel sized first aid kit. The first aid kit was the biggest risk but right now I'm glad that I took it. My knee stings with every step and I can feel blood soaking into my pant leg.

I don't know how long I run, only that it feels like I've been running for hours when I finally reach the rundown apartment building I'll be calling home for the next few days. I lean back against a wall and slide down onto the dirty floor. I stretch my hurt leg out in front of me and check the damage. I slap myself mentally when I realize that I'm going to have to use one of my water bottles cleaning off my hands and knee. I'm going to be here for three days and brought six water bottles. Now I'll have five.

I don't want to get my knee dirty while I'm cleaning it so I force myself to stand up and limp out the back door into the courtyard. At least here it's clean. The dark, dingy apartment is such a parallel to this place that it's like they're two completely different places. I wouldn't be able to guess that that disgusting apartment lead to this clean garden. At least there's something clean around here.

I gently sit down on a concrete bench in the center of the courtyard and open my water bottle. Before I start cleaning my hands and knee take three quick gulps of the water, draining about a third of the bottle. I clean the cuts as quickly as possible and bandage my knee to stop the bleeding. Once I'm all cleaned up I walk back into the small apartment to change. I'd rather not sleep in my bloody, ripped up pants and sweaty shirt.

As I'm getting ready for bed I look out the grimy window, thinking about how this will be the start of a new beginning. I'll never be the same girl again. Realization hits me like a train as I realize that I might never see Tobias again. Of course I knew that when I left but it's like I never really understood that it was real until now. Finally I can't help myself and I break down. I have to keep telling myself that I'm doing this for them to keep myself from turning around and running back into Tobias' arms. I grasp onto the window frame to keep myself upright as I sob.

This is for them. This is for them. I repeat in my head over and over again. It's the only thing that makes it possible for me to find two clean blankets and a clean pillow in this junk heap and drag them outside. I can't bring myself to sleep in that apartment so I decide to camp out under the stars. Once my makeshift bed is made I lay down and gently cry myself to sleep thinking about everything that I'm leaving behind.

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I wake up the next morning to sun shining and birds chirping. I groan and pull the pillow over my head. Maybe if I pretend that it's night I won't have to face the day. The darkness of night seems to fit my mood better. It doesn't help that I didn't get much sleep last night. I was too busy tossing and turning to get much sleep.