Involved

ten

isabelle langa

By noon, all the guilt hit me and I couldn't have marched out of there any faster. After the shower we went back to sleep and spent most of the day asleep. Now it was the afternoon and woke up with all this shame like I did something wrong. Like enjoying it was wrong.

I ordered an Uber to get home and didn't expect to see my brother. But there he was, standing in the kitchen making himself food. He never cooked and I couldn't believe now of all times he was chose to be in the kitchen. I couldn't sneak past him and his thoughts radiated off of him. It's like he just knew.

"Are you at least using protection?" Junior looked away from me like looking at me pained him. I was happy to have him look away because it felt like he could see it on me. Every night he used to come home after fucking a girl I could see it on him. This was no different.

"I wasn't...I...yes," I put my lies to the side. They weren't going to work on him. I refrained from telling him that I got an IUD the summer before senior year of high school. Him asking if I was using protection wasn't just because he worried about birth control, but because he knew the type of guy Killian was.

"I'm guessing the car outside is a gift from Jeremiah," he commented with amusement. If I didn't know any better, I would say he sounded jealous. "Isabelle drives a Lamborghini. Isabelle has a rich white boyfriend. Isabelle attends a PWI with a bunch of trust fund babies. You must be living the fucking dream life." He gave me all this attitude that I didn't appreciate at all. Where was this coming from? I didn't ask Jeremiah to buy me a car. Killian and I weren't dating. And I worked my ass off to get into my university. He was being a dick for no reason.

"Killian isn't my boyfriend," I mumbled on my way to my room. I had many others words for him, but I was choosing to pick my battles.

I took a quick shower to wash Killian away and got ready. Seeing as I had no plans, I figured it would be a good day to visit Jeremiah despite how my day was half gone.

The drive was scary at first. Junior's car was fast but nothing compared to this. The freedom of knowing it belonged to me made the drive that much better. I rolled my windows down and blasted my music without a worry of anyone else complaining about my songs. Interrupting my music ever so often was Killian's calls. I didn't want to talk to him. I wanted to be as detached as possible until I finally was detached. Fake it until I make it.

I couldn't allow myself to attach to Killian. He would hurt me. I knew he would. He would use me for his pleasure then step on my heart and leave me with nothing. He got what he wanted from me so I expected within the next few days he'd lose interest. Letting my guard down with him was the worst thing I could do and that's exactly what I did last night. The plan was to stay away from him as long as I could. It wasn't helping me that he was sending me texts.

killian: bell

killian: baby, tell me what's wrong

Getting out of the car, I knocked on the front door of the home. Trinity opened it and was shocked to see me. I was showing up unannounced and I now felt bad.

"You look different. You look good," she smirked as she crossed her arms. Her eyes examined me like she was trying to notice any differences in me now compared to the last time she saw me. "You finally had sex."

The smile I had slowly disappeared. Her comment was out of nowhere and caught me off guard. She found this all funny and my face was flushed with heat. Can everyone detect sex the moment they look at you?

"I'm kind of a sex connoisseur," she shrugged, linking her arm around mine. We walked up the stairs and she led me to her room that had a similar style to mine. White and modern. I sat on her bed with her. "Tell me about it." I was hesitant about opening up to her about my sex life. But this seemed like something you talked about with your older sister.