Lassoing Love

Avoidance

Chapter 9

I would like to say that Duke came running to my house banging on the door, begging to see me, but that's just not how it went. It turns out, life isn't like the movies. The guy doesn't demand to see the girl, then argue with her and then resolve all arguments with a passionate kiss. I waited around that night, waiting to hear the sound of pebbles being thrown at my bedroom window. And when that didn't happen, I waited around the next day too.

The doorbell rang twice and each time I had to restrain myself from jumping up and running to see who it was. Each time I played it cool, pretending to be waiting for someone else to answer, even though nobody else was home. Then I would waltz over to the door, after making sure my hair was in order, and opened the door expectantly. 

First it was the delivery man, who apparently is good friends with George. Then it was Grits' friend, Betty Sue. Unfortunately Grits still wasn't back at that time and so I had to awkwardly entertain Betty with my 'outstanding' social skills. Needless to say, I think we were both eager for Grits' return. 

After twenty excruciating minutes of small talk, Grits finally made her grand entrance. I hustled out of the front room before Betty Sue even had a chance to say goodbye to me. I quickly ran up the stairs, wincing with each cracking sound of the wood beneath me. I escaped to my bedroom and flung myself on the lower bunk bed. 

Suddenly the world seemed to be crashing down on me all at once. I reached for my pillow, shoved my face into it, and let out the scream I had been holding in all day. It felt good to release some emotion, but after a while my throat began to close up and my eyes began to water.

I was having an existential crisis. I couldn't seem to understand why it was me of all people who was given this crappy life. Why did my dad have to be such a screw up and why couldn't I live in a normal city? How was it that in this minuscule town, there just so happened to be an attractive farm boy that had already crushed my spirits and caused me pain? 

I understand that I am the biggest hypocrite there is. After all, I absolutely loathe movies and books about 'love at first sight' and I despise main characters that fall in love so quickly. Because in all honesty, it just doesn't work that way. Love takes time and understanding and a whole bunch of other painful crap that happily married people don't tell you. Yet here I am, throwing myself after some boy I just met and being surprised that he wouldn't instantly fall in love with me. 

But I am a teenager and therefore I still hold on to the hope that my one true love is out there and that one day my dad will turn his life around and apologize for his horrible parenting. I know neither of these things is likely to happen, but like I said, I am a teenager. I still have a few years to dream. 

 ~

Betty Sue was long gone by the time Sarah returned home with the kids. As usual, I receive a glare from Billy as she rushes past me and up to her room. Sarah takes a seat next to me in the front room. By this time I am already started on my second book. 

"Whatchya reading?" she asks, craning her neck to see the title. 

Reflexively, I pull the book away from her. Realizing I am being somewhat ridiculous, I turn the cover so she can see for herself.

"Moby Dick," she reads out loud. "That's kind of an unusual book for a teenager to be reading voluntarily," she comments.

I shrug my shoulders, a habit I have developed from my father. "I like reading the classics occasionally." 

She nods her head, and looks impressed. "Do you like it so far?"

I try not to sigh. My main reason for reading is to avoid being social and she is kind of ruining that right now. "I've already read it," I say with slight irritation in my voice.