~Roino~
One day, I lifted my heart and said to you " I get jealous"
So you smiled at me and said "then want me to break off some things?", I got anxious but still said "do it!" as fast as I could.
I thought i finally stepped forward with you but still you said " I can't" , i sent me internally crying but still i smiled at you and you walked and talked as if it was nothing big.
I spent many days out in my own thoughts and nights crying to sleep, i decided to fight back to my happiness and so "this is not who i wanted to be" i said and spent the new morning with a fiecer me .
Everything had gone smoothly.
Then this day came ,
"Do you want to be my lover?", as he talked to me once again this was his first words.
I panicked a little bit but acted smoothly and smiled at him.
I turned blue all of a sudden , as i went back inside my classroom.
"why now?" ,i didn't answered him for i thought it was one of his childlish acts again.
And things went through my mind like , he didn't thought of this clearly, Why is he playing with my feelings!?, please just stop this if you already know there's no direction.
I wept another night.
I played along , i still love him.
I know i do.
~months later
"Silver, who is he?" , a girl suddenly appeared right before the two of us in this crowded mall.
Silver with a relaxed face answered "just a friend"
I bit onto my lip for a second, as i watched him have fun entertaining other's , i started to think about myself more "what am i to you?"
I asked him the other night "does ria like ruru?" , I use my Teddy's name and his when I just can't slip my own words right out of my self.
"Ria likes Ruru"
It became not enough.
"Just a friend? And ignoring me to be aid other's attention seeking? Isn't that unfair!? You never learn do you?"
I decided to free myself a little ,I hid away from silver's eyes , i wanted him to find me on his own, if i'm really special,isn't it natural ? .
Almost a month had gone by.
He haven't found me knor searched for me from the start at all.
He left me for good.
