Ashes to Ashes

chapter fifteen

Chapter fifteen

Conner was dead.

I found this out on the day after they came back. Somehow, Ash had failed to tell me this down in the kitchen. To be completely honest, it made no difference to me. I never knew Conner particularly well, he didn't like me, and I hated him, just because he was a part of The Stones. Which, I constantly reminded myself furiously, should be the exact same way you should feel about the leader of the god damn gang.

My little untouchable air was holding up pretty well, considering I hadn't seen anybody the whole day.

Before, when I had a normal-ish life and did normal things like go to school and everything, there was this train that I would catch on the start of every term into school. It took about five hours to get there, which was why us city people boarded. A group of people I hung out with a lot caught it as well. There was this one time, the last time I ever caught it, that I remember really well.

I was at the station, waiting for the train in a kind of stupor. Leaning against the brick of the wall, starring at the tracks without even seeing them.

The carriage door slid open when I pushed slightly and I stepped into the train compartment, smiling as I saw all the familiar faces. "Holaaa," I had barely got the words out when there was a high pitched squeal, a flurry of black curls then I was gasping for air as Bella threw her arms around my neck. And I was hugging her back tightly, squeezing the air right back out of her as well and smiling so hard my cheeks started to ache.

I let go, and Bella immediately dragged me down onto one of the faded leather seats, opposite four other guys, all around fifteen, who were lounging back lazily and talking loudly.

"Hey Fox - what the fuck are you wearing?" Blaize, directly in front of me was staring at the deep plunge of the dress I was wearing, and I mentally kicked myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"I went out last night," I shrugged as though I wasn't absolutely furious with myself, "didn't have time to change. " I shot him a grin. "One good thing about having no parents is you can do whatever the fuck you want."

"I swear you are the only person who would find something positive about having your parents killed." Dallas, next to Blaize, was shaking his head in a slightly exasperated way which annoyed me. Smirking to hide the resentment I felt at his words, I turned back to Bella and started a breathless explanation of the past two dizzying weeks. As I turned my head I caught his eye and tried to ignore the fact that I had been anticipating the moment of going back to school, the place I both hated and loved at the same time, just for the brief nanosecond of a glance that wasn't even definitely guaranteed.

Now, I can't even remember who it was. What was his name? The only thing I do remember was that he had a killer smile. But then, I guess it didn't matter anymore. None of it mattered. Just like now.

++++

There was something Ash wasn't telling me. Actually, something nobody was willing to share with me. For the past two days I had barely seen anyone, the office door was kept shut, barricading Ash, the twins and whoever else inside. Voices were sometimes raised but were always hushed before I could catch what was being said. Not that I had been listening or anything.

I tried not to pay much attention. It was probably some new stupid thing up with the gang that was oh so threatening. Or maybe it had something to do with Conner.

Somehow, I doubted it. From the way Jax had said it, it seemed like important gang members being killed was a frequent occurrence.

But on the third day, I was passing the office and I heard my name in the snippets of conversation that got through the door. And I was like, what the hell?