7 Years When I Was Alive (Neji x Reader) Naruto Fan fic

12. A Very Selfish Love

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"You can give but you can not take love."

12. A Very Selfish Love

"Shut up," your voice was the only thing that was audible in the tiny hallway. Defiance and concern glimmered in the depths of Kiba's dark eyes. He cared about you but he couldn't believe you were hiding something so important from him, from everyone at that. This was big and he wasn't going to let it go like it was nothing. 

It was something ; your life was everything to him.

"You're fucking dyi-" he attempted to repeat himself but you cut him off before he could finish the one word you didn't want to hear.

"I said shut the hell up," you squinted your eyes at him challengingly," you better shut up if you know what's best for you."

Kiba growled under his breath, he'd never seen this dark side of you but he wasn't going to back down after discovering this secret," the reason you want me to shut up is because you don't want Neji to hear, right?"

He was right. Neji was only a few doors down and if he overheard the conversation, you would be devastated. He watched as your eyes softened at the name. He was correct with his assumption and Kiba felt his heart aching, even now it was all about Neji.

Neji this, Neji that, that was the only person in your heart and he knew it. He was jealous, envious, angry, sad, confused, hurt, a melting pot of feelings he could not control.

Even as he held your gaze, even as he was looking at you, he knew in his soul you were always looking after someone else. Always chasing someone else.

How depressing he thought, closing his eyes and letting out a long sigh, trying to keep his calm," I can't keep this a secret [name]."

"You can't tell anyone," you pushed him down the far end of the hall and shoved him into an empty room, shutting the door behind you," if you do...I'll...I'll..."

"What the hell are you going to do? Kill me?" he laughed sardonically at his own remark, rolling his eyes at you," you can't do shit to me [name] you're too kind. You can't stop me. Everyone deserves to know. Everyone, even the jackass Neji."

"Please, don't tell any-"

"SHUT UP!" Kiba screamed in your face, punching the wall beside him and creating a hole in it," HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE ANYWAYS? A YEAR? A MONTH? A WEEK? You think by begging and crying you can stop me from telling everyone?! Well you're wrong."

"Then what the hell do you want me to do?!" you shouted back in a low voice, squinting at him questioningly. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut? He was your friend right? Friends keep their friend's secret right? 

Kiba gritted his teeth together. There was only one thing he wanted. There was only one person he wanted. He was Selfish, very selfish," I want you to be with me." 

Your heart stopped.

"The day I bought you the mask, you asked me what a wanted, this is my answer."

You started to retreat until your back hit the solid wall behind you. 

"Be with me. Look only at me. Love only me and I won't tell anyone. I won't even tell Neji."

Unable to conjure up a proper response, you sank to your knees, your body shaking from all of the emotions you were holding back.

You'll be okay, right?

After all, you could never be with Neji, you couldn't be with him knowing you were going to die and knowing you would never tell him you were going to die. That was selfish and your love was not selfish. You would never take advantage of him or take his heart for granted. So this was okay right? You asked yourself, it's okay if it's not Neji right?

You nodded your head slowly.

Yes, it's okay if it's not Neji.  

Kiba crouched down and planted a kiss on your forehead, the same way Neji once did.

"I will make you happy [name]," then he left, leaving you in the room with the only one who truly understood you, 

Your silence.

In that silence you heard a crack and no sooner did you hear yourself shatter.

You cried. 

And cried.

And cried.

And cried.

You screamed, you wailed, you yelled knowing no one would hear you. Knowing no one could help you. After all, today was suppose to be a day of fun, excitement, and cheers. Today was the tournament for the chunin exams, today Naruto proved he was able to defeat a genius, today Spring had arrived.

So why did it feel like Winter all over again?

"[name]."

You hadn't realized someone had opened the door and walked into the room. It sounded much like Neji's voice. Neji, you lifted your head.

"Why are you crying loser?"

You blinked. It was Sasuke. He was on his way to his match and he had overheard your crying. You didn't say anything, what could you possibly say to him?

Sensing your pain, Sasuke sighed. Girls were too annoying and complicated for him to deal with. But you didn't have much time to live so he made an exception.

"Let's go. I don't have all day and Kakashi is waiting for me. Not to mention I'm extremely late for my match."

He hold out his hand.

Your eyes shifted to his open palm.

You will be happy. Even if it's not Neji.

You placed your hand in Sasuke's, you squeezed it tightly .

But it will never be true happiness. 

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