Will was stunned, trying to imagine what she had to go through, but he couldn’t. He had never experienced any sort of pain that was that horrendous, and all he could do is sit and stare at her. Stare at the face that brought her so much pain, and the more he looked at her, the more he truly realized how beautiful she really was.
“How…how do you even stand it?” Will let the careless question slip from his lips; immediately regretting it.
She sat for a moment, beginning to blush. She felt him crack through her defensive barrier, and she felt him slowly seep in.
“I count down.” She simply stated, looking up at him from under her now pained expression, “I keep a count of how many days are left.”
“How many days until what?” He asked again, but this time he didn’t regret asking. He truly wanted to know.
She didn’t answer. She suddenly got extremely quiet, not moving. Her hands lay still on her lap as she stared at them, not knowing what to do. Internally panicking, she felt like she was going to cry.
He’s going to run. Prepare for it her inner voice warned as she took a long, deep breath, finally deciding to tell him the truth.
“Until I get major, life changing surgery.” She said.
Silence.
It loomed above both of them as the truth began to sink into Will’s thoughts.
“You’re getting the bilateral-graft…thing?” Will tried to concentrate.
“Yes.” She whispered.
“When? What is it?”
“Well…” She sighed, letting it all come out, “They’re basically filling my condyles with fat. And the fat is coming from right under my belly-button, like…” Her voice dropped down suddenly, “right above the pubic hair line..” Her face caught on fire, “and they’re replacing the joints. But with that the fat needs time to attach to the joints, so…” She took another deep breath, “I am going to have my mouth wired shut for 9 months.”
Silence. Will felt his face begin to fall and his mouth suddenly fell open.
She saw his expression; it pierced through her brain, forever ingrained. She envisioned him getting up, excusing himself in whatever way possible and walking out on her, leaving her there in her embarrassment to admit to her problem; her deformity.
“Oh my God.” Will finally got out, unable to hide his shock.
“I know,” She mumbled, “That’s the same thing I said.”
“And there’s nothing else they can do for you?” Will began to ask. She simply shook her head.
“How….how are you going to eat? How are you going to breathe?”
She smiled at him, taking the opportunity at a laugh.
“Well, I’m going to suffocate.”
“What?!” He said, but then she started to giggle, and so did he as it dawned on him that she was joking. “Oh,” He muttered in embarrassment.
She laughed brightly, and then turned again towards the truth.
“I’m going to be on a non-chew liquid-ish diet for the first months, and I’m not sure where the protocol goes from there, but for now all I know is that I’m going to be eating a lot of soup and pasta.”
“And yet here we are eating pasta.” Will laughed.
“Yeah, I love pasta, even though I know I’m going to be living on it. But hey,” She glanced up at him, “I’ll still be able to eat here with my mouth wired shut.”
