The Man Of My Nightmares (Septiplier) **DISCONTINUED**

Waves

It's been a full week already. A full week of throwing lies and midnight cries. I ate a little bit on Saturday, but not much. I hated myself after that. That night, I jogged around the park before going to the "Lonely Bench." People have been keeping it up with the name calling and I even got beaten up after school one day for being an "emo faggot." They found out I self harm. I walked home and stopped by the drug store to pick up some concealer so Ma wouldn't notice my pasty skin had purple and green in it. But today was the dreaded Tuesday. The day I go to therapy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy I get to see Mark, but I'm afraid they're gonna confront me about my eating disorder. I didn't put up a fight as Ma drove me to Ted's office. I was completely silent. Silent up until my name was called. I let out a quiet, pitiful "hi." I walked in to see Mark already there. Ted asked how our week went and we were both afraid to say what we were thinking. Mark finally gave in, while I remained staring intensely towards my feet.

"Well, I met Jack at school, we met up one night and my dad is doing somewhat better."
"How's the breakup? Zack?"
"Oh, thanks for reminding me.." He stroked the top of his bare arm.
"What about you, Sean?"
"I'm good. Nothing interesting."
"Have you noticed any changes in eating habits? At all?" Oh, fuck. I knew it!
"No, nothing I haven't noticed before." I mean, its not a lie.
"Oh, well you let me know and, if you don't mind me asking, how much do you weigh?"
"Enough to know that I'm fine, okay? I've got it under control." The least I need is someone badgering me over my weight. I decided to turn the conversation to Mark by asking about him.
"So, uh.. W-who's Zack?" I looked at my dirty converse, in order to not show my feelings. He sniffed a bit before going off.

"Zack was... Zack was everything to me, we'd known each other forever. He always stood up for me when people gave him a hard time, but I didn't return the favor and I regret that. You know how they say 'Never judge a book by its cover'? Well, Zack was the happiest, cheeriest little guy until one day he came to school late, crying. We must've been around seven. When I asked what happen, he said his daddy hurt him. He didn't have a mother, she left at an early age. I brushed it off and he blinked away the tears into his usual self. He would always come to my house and never want to leave. Took me forever to connect the dots and figure out that his father abused him. He lived pretty near, and come to think of it, I did hear a couple of cries late at night coming from his house. I remember one day he came to school with red marks on his arms. He said he was testing out a pen. As we got older and became more aware of things around us, I tried so hard to help him with his depression, his self harm. He even had anxiety attacks like you. But his eyes got shinier, cuts deeper, bruises darker. He started smoking, drinking. He didn't seem happy until one day, he told me 'Mark, you goober, be my fucking boyfriend already!" I said gladly and I've never seen him light up like that since grade school. We kissed, we joked, he introduced me to some music he'd been listening to, we had some fun in the dark. Then his dad found out and it all went downhill from there. He started wearing long sleeves again and he started avoiding me. Then the last time I saw him, as school ended, he came up to me and said 'Goodbye, my silly goober.' I didn't know it was permanent." He let out a sob. "That night, I heard a loud bang and I ran to his house with tears in my eyes. I ran past Zack's dad to find him lying on his floor with a gun in his left hand, blood everywhere. I whispered to him to hold on as paramedics pushed me aside. My sweet baby boy was gone."

I looked up to see Mark absolutely devastated. He took a deep breath and said "That was the day I promised never to make anyone feel the same. Even though people made fun and blamed me for his death, I did my best to stay sane. I met my ex. He... Well he had the same effect as Zack, until one day, out of the blue he ended it. He said I was a freak. He said I was unlovable and that I made him feel terrible like how I, supposedly, made Zack feel. He was just caught in the moment. Then I found myself in the same downward spiral as Zack, which brings me here." I wanted to ask about wade and Tyler, but figured they were unaware of the whole thing. After a long pause Ted asked if Mark was gay, to which he said yes. Mark asked to hear my story and I said the stupidest thing I've ever heard. "With a story like that, why would you want more?" Luckily, he found it funny. Soon, the session was over.