Mad World. (A Larry Stylinson/Peter Pan crossover)

(18) To make you feel my love.

Normally, when people stared at their reflection in the mirror they redo their hair, or brush up their clothes to make sure they look presentable, as for Harry; he stared at his reflection and saw nothing more than disappointment. He saw a person that was clearly hurting the people around him for love and that terrified him to his soul.

He was ruining everything for his friends, and he knew it.

Liam was a person that Harry was sure was smart enough to achieve anything he wanted in his life. It was cheesy, but true. Liam was smart, independent, optimistic and sensible, and he was wasting time in Neverland. He was going after a damaged girl who might not even like him back. Who was staying in Neverland with the rest of them, for possibly ever? How did this happen to Liam? Oh, that’s right, he was helping Harry out.

Zayn was like Liam in the aspect that he could achieve anything he wanted, but he was the type to get distracted easily. Meaning, Neverland was the main distraction. And when Zayn saw something he liked, he went for it; particularly, Katherine. Now, Katherine held a huge question mark in Harry’s mind. He wasn’t sure whether or not she would stay in Neverland once the Captain was dead, or go back to England. Either way, he was pretty sure that she had no idea about Zayn’s feelings for her.

He couldn’t wait for that, could he?

No, was the answer, he couldn’t. Zayn was being blind to what he wants and Liam was being momentarily distracted by Neverland. Harry did see a change in them both. They were both forgetting things that they shouldn’t, both treating Harry and Louis as if they were married, funnily enough, it was true.

Harry shook his head, out of those thoughts. They were thoughts in favour of the idea of leaving Neverland. He couldn’t think like that, could he? Not if that was what he wanted. For a second, Harry let his mind wander over the many outcomes that leaving will entail.

The first thought was school. He would have a pile of work to catch up on taller than Lottie herself. He needed to though; he needed to finish college and then move on to University in order to get a proper job. He would return to his job at the bakery, see Henry and Caroline, see his friends, explain why he went missing in the first place, and find a girl...          

A girl... that was what made his thoughts halt abruptly. It seemed like such a mapped out thing when he was younger. Find a job, get married, have kids, raise them properly and then retire with his beautiful wife. He wanted that. He wanted that so desperately.

When he was younger he would picture a beautiful wife, a kind, considerate, funny and passionate woman. And yet now, he pictured Louis instead. Of course he wanted to be married to Louis, he would of course be perfectly content with having children with Louis... but that would mean leaving Neverland. And that was one thing he was sure Louis would never do. Did he learn nothing from Louis and Eleanor?  

The fact of the matter was that he’d been pushing all these feelings of fear and dread away, too happy to even consider them. Now, it felt as though he had just woken up for the first time since he left England. The fact of the matter was; he had to leave. He had to go home and grow up. With or without Louis. Of course he would suggest to Louis that he would come with him after Louis manages to kill Captain Hook, but that would be it. He was going, regardless of whether or not Louis was going as well. He’d probably have to force Zayn, but he would imagine that Liam would give him some help on that front, and Zayn would grow to realise that he was just acing rationally. But... what if he wasn’t? What if he genuinely had feelings for Katherine? What if Zayn decided to stay?

Then he remembered what type of person his friend was. Zayn would never leave Harry for another girl that he only just met. What was he thinking?

“You alright?” A voice startled Harry out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw Eleanor making her way over to him. He stopped looking when she sat on the rock he was perched on.