memories : phan

Mason

(Continued) Flashback Phil's Pov

"I will always be here for you, Dan." Anne spoke. Her words were meant to be comforting yet they slit my heart like knives.

I could feel their bodies collide, his warm arms wrapping around her waist and hers around his neck.Her head finding the crevice between his neck and collarbone, laying it gently their. Him resting his chin upon her head. Their bodies refusing to let go, but their minds counting each second.

My lungs ached, my breathe shortening with each attempt. I fell over my now weak legs crashing to the carpeted floor. The collision echoing throughout the hallway. "What the-?" I heard Dan say, realeasing from Anne's tight grip to open the door.

"Phil-" Dan began. He stopped himself letting his concerned expression fade. His eyes slowly blacken now heartless. They burned into my skull forcing myself to vomit. Only I couldn't dry heaving, coughing for air.

Anne stood frightened, afraid to speak up. She grabbed her stomach frantically darting her eyes.

Tears were now streaming down my paled skin. Dan looked down upon me. I could see him hiding. Not physically but emotionally. Yet his glare still pained me.

I felt anger bubbling, why was he acting this way? I had done nothing wrong, but neither had he. I overreacted, it didn't mean he had to make matters worse by going to Anne's for the night, at least that is what I assumed. My actions were only meant for the greater good not to rip things further.

This may be Dan's way of telling me he was moving on. Maybe this was his way of coping without hurting me. Who was I kidding? He was intentionally hurting me. Not just emotionally, I physically could not breath without having the feeling of ejecting my lungs out of my throat.

Dan was gone. Just yesterday he could have had a care in the world. In our world. Now it was their world. The fact that they had just met days before aggravated me the most. How could they even relate? Dan was to timid to express his feelings to people let alone someone he met a few four days ago. Or maybe he couldn't express his feelings to me. Was I the roadblock in the way of his road?

"What's wrong Phil? Gonna slam the door in my face again." Dan spat.

"D-Dan I'm s-sorry, I was just frustrated, you and Anne, I-I-" I trailed off not knowing how to continue.

"Speechless? Lost for words? Or are you just shutting me out?"

"Y-You did for seven years." I knew it was a weak comeback, but I was only speaking the truth. Something that could snap Dan back into reality as quick as I snapped it back at him. Unfortunately my actions failed. Leaving Dan sinking deeper into an external as well as internal black abbis.

I wasn't withstanding anymore of his retorts. I stumbled up pushing past the two. Brushing Dan's skin as I dragged myself through the doorway. The cool breeze hit me as I was still quite fatigue from the night before.

My brain felt split only able to control half of the thoughts buzzing through my head. The others were flooded out by tears.

All my brain could process was the simple idea of running. If only it was that easy. To be able to run away from life's issues. Running faster only increasing your chances of washing away the regrets and pain. Dragging you farther and farther away from reality. Until you became fatigue and your brain became overwhelmed with other information besides putting one foot in front of one another.

I was challenging my abilities, but that didn't matter. Clearing my head from the past few days was my goal. The prize was satisfaction. For myself, for once in my life god damnit.