Regret.

Twenty Eight

TRIGGER WARNING: if you can't handle self harm, be aware that there is some in this chapter.

 Bella's POV

 When Mitch left, I honestly felt so bad. I loved Scott, but the reason I felt this wasn't why. I felt safe with him, and now that I don't have him, I'm vulnerable. Marcus can hurt me.

 "I can't do this anymore," I breathed out. I wanted to scream. Marcus was going to come for me, and he was going to come for the people I love the most. My breathing picked up and my mind raced through disturbing thoughts. 

 I felt dizzy when I stood up. I ran out the door and looked around for somewhere no one would find me. The woods.

 I jogged my way to the forest of tall, green trees, contemplating whether or not I should go in there. I reached down into my sweatshirt pocket, feeling for the little thing that helped me when my anxiety got bad. Once I felt the sharp, metal blade on my finger tip, I needed to feel it across my wrist. I ran into the woods, but not to far. I looked for somewhere hidden, or somewhere that no one would notice. I walked until I found a tree to hide behind, my back facing the direction I came from.

 I took the blade out of my pocket as a tear rolled down my face.

 Do it.

"I...I can't." I sniffled.

They don't need you, Bella. Obviously Scott didn't, so why would the rest?

"But...Mitch, he says he loves me." I said softly, responding to the voice in my head.

 You idiot! He only loves you because you're sad! Don't you know what sympathy is?!

 That drove me over the edge. I drug the cold metal across my wrist with a sigh of relief.

 Good girl, Bella. You're doing what they want.

 I felt a tear drip down my cheek, and blood drip down my arm as I cut again, this time deeper. It felt wrong, but right. My vision went blurry and darkened as I heard people calling my name. I could tell one of them was Avi. The other was Mitch or Kirstie, I wasn't for sure. I heard Kevin, and I heard the dreaded Scott.

 Avi's POV

 Mitch looked terrified when he told me Bella was gone. He was filled with pure fear. Every inch of him was worried, and that hurt the rest of the band. 

 "Bella!" Kirstie and Scott called out. Mitch was trying to yell, but when he did it was muffled through sobs. He was broken and scared and it made me feel awful.

 "Avi, could she be in the woods?" Mitch asked, his voice breaking every other word.

 "Let's check," I said and put an arm around his shoulder.

 "Ya'll coming?" I yelled at the rest of them. They nodded their heads and followed Mitch and I to the place we all hoped Bella would be.

 Mitch's POV

 I was shaking like crazy at thoughts of what could happen to my Bells. I can't stand to see her hurting anymore. I just, really need her to be okay.

 "Mitch, are you okay?" Kevin asked as we walked. I shook my head and held back tears, surprised that I had any left. 

 "Wait, stop." Scott said quietly. "I heard something."

 Bella's POV

 I was bleeding a lot, more than I intended. I didn't want to kill myself today, but maybe it'll be for the better. I let out a loud sigh and heard the footsteps of an a cappella group stop. They started again, getting closer and closer. Then I did something I felt was best. I closed my eyes. Only to find that I couldn't open them again.

 Mitch's POV

 "Bella," I whispered when I saw her leaning against a tree. She looked as if she was asleep.

 I started running to her body, and fell to my knees when I saw her arms. Blood, everywhere. Her clothes were covered in it and she had a blade in her hand. 

 "No, no no no." I breathed. I put my hand on her cheek. Her skin was cold and pale, and I was scared she was dead.

 "Bella, please. Please wake up," I sobbed. 

 "Mitch! Is she okay?" I heard Kevin and Avi run up to me. I couldn't speak or think.

 I shook my head and sobbed even harder. I looked at her up and down.

 "Scott, call 911." Avi said sternly. "Now!" 

 Avi picked her up and carried her bridal style out of the woods. (a/n by taylor swift)

 I followed far behind with Kevin at my side. 

 "Mitch, I'm so sorry," He said, a tear rolling down his cheek.

 I couldn't answer. I could just cry. Kevin pulled me in for a hug that I needed badly. I heard sirens which made me cry even more.

 Avi's POV

 I carried Bella to the ambulance, blood all over her, and my, clothes. She was soaked with the red substance and all I wanted to do was cry. I've never in my life seen someone so broken. 

 "What's going on?" Kirstie said, running out of the studio.

 "Bella," I said, holding back a sob.

 "Oh god," She whispered when she saw the girl in my arms. 

 "We'll take her from here, sir." A paramedic told me. The man took the poor girl from me and placed her on a stretcher. 

 Mitch was leaning against the bus, crying his eyes out. 

 This is the hard part. Seeing everyone depressed and scared for what the future holds. And guilt, lots and lots of guilt. 

 Scott's POV

 This whole thing was my fault. Bella wouldn't be half dead if I hadn't done what I had done. I'm a fucking idiot.