Escaping Our Names

Cat's Got My Thoughts

Lila woke up smiling in the warmth of sun beams from her faded curtained window. She felt peaceful and whole in the first five seconds of morning. She didn't open her eyes, she just buried her head on her pillow and sighed. Then, like a giant punch in her gut, a wash of dread came over her body and she bolted up straight. Larken wasn't there and it was suddenly cold. She looked around her room and her eyes caught on the sticky note on her desk. She jumped up and reached for it. She blinked away the blur of sleep from her eyes and read his note. Her stomach ached and she slid a hand in her wild, knotted hair. Her hair natural made her feel gross and so unkempt. She hated it. Just like Larken's stupid note. She threw it back on her desk. Lila proped her feet on the edge of her bed and put her face in her hands and groaned. Shortly after she got up to go to the bathroom and she did her morning routine and then looked at her reflection and decided to take another shower.
Lila-
I'm going up to talk with my lawyer. I don't know what will happen and I know you'd try to get involved and I don't want you in this mess. I brought it upon myself and it doesn't concern you. I need you to just stay home and take care of yourself. If I know you are all okay, so will I be. I know last night will not be the last night I spend with you, but it was a perfect see you soon. I love you, Lila.
-L
Lila rested her head on the side of the shower and let the hot water roll down her curved body. She shut her eyes and thought of the day before and smiled. Then she frowned. She started to scrub the filth she imagined on her skin off.
Larken went in with his lawyer and they discussed what his parents had pushed. He would have to cough up a ton of money that he did not have or he could spend some time in jail. Of course another choice would be trial, because he was being sued for things he didn't nessicarily commit. Yet if he didn't try to win over the court, it would in the process create a bigger mess involving more people then there already was. So with all the information and numbers placed in front of Larken, he looked up at the middle aged man in front of him and looked back at the papers and sighed. He was lucky enough to be appointed this kind lawyer and he was loved enough to have a friend like Fred to give a place to crash and he was blessed enough to have a Lila waiting for him back a sanctuary he could take hold in. Larken made a decision and told his lawyer. The man agreed and told Larken that he need his parents permission with this choice of action and Larken's shoulders that were already sunken, dipped some more but he said,"Okay."
Lila straightened her long brown hair and put on her makeup. And then for the rest of the Friday, she read a novel about wolves falling in love with quiet girls and another about rich boys on an adventure along with a feminist spunk filled teenage girl. She lost track of her time and energy and slowy fell into a dream. She was out in the world far away from her town and she was driving fast through the long winding roads between trees and meadows. And she kept on going and going and going and she never stopped driving and moving and the sun went down and the stars went out one by one. Lila kept on driving and driving and she was surrounded by darkness and she was alone. Soon the lights on her car went out and she, herself was gone.

It was Monday and school was back on track again. Lila arrived in her car and when she walked in, she didn't realize that all eyes were on her. She was in skinny jeans and a gray tank with her cozy dark green flannel lazily slipped on. She had pushed up her sunglasses on top of her head, pulling her straight hair back like a headband. She was rocking herself today and she just felt cold inside and out. She hadn't spoken a word aloud since Larken left the day after Thanksgiving other than to her parents ever so often when it was nessicary. Lila opened her locker completely oblivious to the whispers and stares from her classmates. A piece of torn binder paper fluttered out and landed at her toes. She bent over to pick it up.
"I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine."
It was another quote from Emily Brönte. But Larken wasn't around and why would he leave this quote? Lila was suddenly unsure if the quotes before were from Larken either. She stuffed the note into her jean pockets and made a mental note to inspect the handwriting and a the other notes from before later. She felt kind of creeper out, but the feeling was quickly replaced with dread as the bell rang for first period to begin.
At lunch, Lila headed over to her table, when a girl taller than her and way skinnier than her grabbed her arm roughly.
"Hey," Lila said, snapping back at the girl. The girl smiled sweetly.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be too rough, I just thought you'd run away or something." Lila looked at the girl with furrowed eyebrows. She repositioned her lunch try with her usual salad to fix her shirt.
"I'm Ada. I was wondering if you could sit with me? I usually sit with my friend Darin, but he's not here today. I've heard some stuff about you, and I thought we might like the same stuff." The girl seemed off, but sweet enough to Lila, and honestly she didn't really want to listen to more half date stories that were not at all even close to being true.
"Yeah, I think I will sit with you Ada," Lila smiled and followed Ada back to where she sat on the steps of the outside stage. Lila listened to Ada talk about herself and her "babies." Her cats. Ada was pretty weird, but Lila felt for the girl and actually enjoyed her company, and in turn shared some of her own stories. Lila forgot about her worries with Larken and laughed with Ada over cat videos on Youtube.

A/N: Sorry for updating and then disappearing randomly. I have had a lot of work on my schedule lately and I have just got back for working 19 hour volunteer shifts for my school band and then leaving the next day for Disneyland with the band for a week.  Plus school sucks!  Hopefully I can start updating regularly.  Sometime in the future...  And thank you for the responses and votes!  It's amazing to get comments and to hear from other people!