Escaping Our Names

And Out

Ada knew Darin wanted to get laid and that he had this weird fascination with the weird emo ones. She could tell that his eyes were constantly on Lila and every time she saw that he got excited when she entered the room she felt this feeling of strong rage wave through her skinny white body. Ada had a secret that she kept from her own filthy mind and everyone elses. When Darin would enter any room, Ada herself would get extremely elated. She had had a crush on him almost her whole life. From the moment in early grade school that she had fallen from the monkey bars and snapped her wrist and Darin came running over, she had this trusted bond with him. As she and Div went into middle school and Darin into high school, Ada would spend the night just for him. She would secretly sneek into his bedroom after Div was fast asleep and talk to him about everything. He knew some of her most embarrassing secrets and he was the perfect person to just have listen to you. One night while Ada was going into eighth grade, Darin had come home wasted. Ads hadn't had any experience with drugs at the time, so seeing Darin this way scared her out of her mind. She had gone over and Div was practically dead in her room, so she went to Darin's down the hall. She was working up her courage to express to him her weird feelings she got towards him and what it was. When she entered his bedroom, it was empty, so she decided to wait on his bed. Around three, he burst in through the door and knocked over some weights he had left in the floor, it made a loud thump and left a big dent in the hardwood. He stared wide eyed at Ada, who stared back.
"Shh!" he said, putting his finger to his lips and he slowly closed the door behind him. Ada could smell the alcohol all over him.
"Oh my God, you reek!"she whispered. He smell his shirt and made a face.
"I know." He flopped on the bed, tossing Ada up in the air. He groaned into the flannel covered mattress. Ada loved this bed. Sometimes she would lie in it by herself when Div had something to do and Darin was gone, and just smell it. Darin looked up at her. She admired the wrinkles and creases on his forehead.
"What," he said roughly. Ada jumped.
"Nothing," she said, rubbing her elbow. She was only wearing an oversized t-shirt. Darin sat up and looked her up and down. Even in the dark room, Ada saw his pupils dilate. She felt this heat creep over her body and she squirmed uncomfortably. She shook her side bangs in her eyes and looked away. The beds creaked and she felt his body warmth move closer to her.
"Ada."
"Yes?" she looked up through her hair.
"I never noticed how pretty you were. I always just thought of you as my sisters skinny awkward friend. That wasn't that on turning actually."
Ada felt a punch to her heart. She looked away again and blushed. Her feelings were hurt so bad, she wanted to get up from this bed and run away as far as she could and disappear forever.
"Ada...look at me. That was then. This is now." She looked at him again and he laid a hand on her thigh. Ada's mind went blank and all she could do was not move and feel his warm hand slide up legs into her underwear. Darin woke up the next morning next to Ada's pale naked body and flipped out. He jumped out of bed and pulled on his clothes and started yelling at her to get up and leave.
"Get the fuck out! Get out!"
Ads shot up and took in the situation around her. She pulled on her t-shirt and ran out and straight into the bathroom. She had tears streaming down her face and she couldn't get her lungs to fill up with air. Ada thought she was dying. She had a million questions running through her mind and she was on the floor of the bathroom hyperventilating for possibly and hour until she hears Div knock on the door.
"Ada? Are you in there? I really have to piss!" Ada stood up quickly and wiped her face.
"Just a minute!"she called. She blew her nose and wiped her face, splashing water repeatedly, but it was still bright red and her eyes were still unhumanly puffy. As she reached over the counter to grab a towel she screamed out in pain. Ada clutched her hip bone and stifled another cry.
"Are you okay?" Div asked. Ada lifted up her shirt and revealed dark purple bruises that covered her thighs, hips, stomach, and breasts. She gasped.
"Ada?"
"Yeah! I'm fine!" she replied shakily. She traced one in the shape of a hand. She looked at herself in the mirror and wanted to scream. She wiped away more tears and pulled down her shirt before unlocking the door and letting a hysterical Div in to go pee. Ada went into Div's room and quickly put on long pants and a shirt before Div came back. When she eventually did, Ada said she had to leave.
"Now?"
"Yeah. I...uh...my grandparents want to go out to breakfast and they barely get to see us, so." Ada avoided eye contact.
"Okay, well have fun I guess. Text me!" Div said, sitting on her bed and waving as Ada went down the hall as quickly as she could, but ran straight into Darin. He looked at her hard in the eye and let her pass. After that day, neither of them had spoken about the incident. Instead they became friends only around Div and anyone else in public. Sometimes they'd speak about homework or Div's birthday alone, but Div never went into his bedroom again. She also never stopped replaying that night and how much she enjoyed it.

Now as she saw Darin sitting next to Lila, legs touching and him whispering into her ear, she decided now was good as ever to pull out the LSD pills she had been saving from her pocket and give Lila a major trip. So much she'd be vulnerable. Lila just sat there for awhile, waiting. The rest of the guys got high except for Darin and Ada. Darin had watched Ada hand Lila the pill and Lila take it. Ada locked eyes with him and she could see the fire in them. She smirked at him and watched him shake with anger. It quickly went away as Lila's body leaned against his. Darin wrapped his arm around her and she clutched his shirt weakly.
"What's happening?" she asked scared. She closed her eyes. Darin felt her shaking and her skin was burning up.
"Ada, what did you give her?" Darin asked roughly. Ada just laughed and took another hit from the bowl in the center.
"Ada!" Darin yelled. Div and George looked up and went silent.
"I-I-I need to text my boyfriend," Lila said, trying to sit up, but failing to. She ended up in Darin's lap. He helped her pull out her phone and handed it to her. She slowly started to text Larken.
"Ada. What the hell did you give her? She's like a hundred and ten degrees!"
"Ada, what did you give her?" Fiv asked.
"Lysergic Acid," she said, rolling her eyes and taking another hit.
"You gave her fucking LSD?" Darin screamed. This caused Lila to start crying.
"She's never even gotten high before, that's fucked," George said. Ada shrugged.
"Darin?" Lila mumbled. He looked down at her and propped her up against his leg, so her head rested on his chest. "I think I'm going to be sick," she said, and puked on his shoes.
"Fuck!" George said.
"You're fucked up Ada! What the fuck?" Div said, standing up to help her brother stand Lila up on her feet. They brought her over to the broken sink. Darin held her hair back and Div wiped off her face.
"Why the fuxk are you helping her?" Ada screamed, standing up. "She needs to learn on her own!"
"I thought she was our friend? Why are you trying to hurt her?" Div screamed back. "What the hell has gotten into you Ada?"
"What do you mean? She was never our friend! Just some weird nerdy virgin chick!"
"I liked her. She was pretty cool," George said. "I mean, yeah she different, but she pretty cool."
"Oh shut up! You guys never really liked her! You wanted to see her suffer as much as I did!"
"Why would we want that? She's never done anything to any of us!" Div said, pulling off Darin's shoes as he continued to hold up Lila and hold her hair back as she vomited into the sink. Darin hadn't spoken and he never turned to face the rest of them as they argued. Lila fainted and he had to pull her back up.
"She obviously trying to suck off your brother? Do you reply want her as a future sister in law? That pussy ass bitch?" Ada asked Div. Div, look up at her friend with wide eyes.
"Lila has a boyfriend and if she and my brother were to be in love, I fully support them. Why would that have anything to do with you? You aren't our family and you aren't dating my brother, so fuck off!"
Ada clenched her fists at her sides.
"Your brother raped me."
Darin let Lila go slightly and she fell halfway, leaning against his legs. Darin quickly pulled her back up.
Div stood her with her mouth wide open.
"W-what?"
"I snuck into his bedroom one night while I was over in middle school and he took advantage of me." Ada said simply.
"What? How?" Div had her eyebrows furrowed and she was in complete shock. "Darin?" She turned to her brother.
Darin carried Lila to chair and sat her up in it. She was consious now, but she couldn't stop shaking.
"It wasn't rape," he sighed. "She has been in love with me for years." He turned to Ada. "I'm not stupid. And I'm sorry for that night. It was the thing I most regret. I was drunk off my ass and I saw how into you were to me. I did take advantage of you, but I had your consent. It was awful. You were an undeveloped child. It might as well be rape, but it wasn't."
Ada was in front of Darin in point two seconds.
"I don't regret it at all. It was the best night of my life. I was not a child Darin!" She grabbed onto his neck, but he peeled them off.
"You were. You still are Ada, if you are acting out like this. You're a child Ada." Ada's lip quivered.
"You bastard, go fuck Lila! Take advantage of her like you did to me. Cover her in bruises that don't go away for weeks! Hurt her like you did me!" Ada had tears streaming down her red face. George grabbed her and took her outside.
"I'm taking her home Div. Just stay here, I'll be back." Div nodded and turned towards her brother. He stood there with glassy eyes and cold skin.
"Are you okay?" she asked him.
He nodded. "We just have to make sure Lila doesn't have a seizure or something. I don't know these drugs work."
"I don't either. Let's just keep her hydrated and awake." Div went to grab a waterbottle. Darin stared at nothing in particular and was brought back to earth when Lila's phone went off. Darin answered it.
"Hello?"
"Who is this? Where is Lila? Is she okay? What did you do to her? I swear to God-"
"She's fine. I'll text you the address. Just come here and get her."