The Eleanor Diaries

Here I am, once again stuck in a therapists office, anxiously tapping my knee and humming Rihanna songs to myself.

My therapist is out at the moment, gathering my results from a psych test I have to take once a month, to see if my thoughts are becoming different, as they say.

Usually when my therapist leaves the room, she's flirting with one of the little guys at the desk and sipping Starbucks coffee that she most likely made them get for her.

How I do know that? Let's just say one day, I walked out to pee and saw something that made me run back towards the room, even with a full bladder that was about to burst.

The door opened and revealed my therapist, Angelica. She was a decent looking woman. Dirty blonde hair, greenish eyes, and slim.

She sat down across from me and put on a forced smile. "Eleanor, honestly. I think this time were seeing very good progress." She said, smiling.

Ah, she can't wait to get rid of me. Honestly, Angelica has told me that everyday. Not the whole she can't wait to rid of me thing, the fact that she 'sees progress' Everytime she says that my family gets all happy and I just throw on a fake smile and walk away.

"Do you really see progress? I mean honestly, Angelica. If anything, I feel I'm getting worse." I admit.

She frowns and looks down. "But, you've made better grades at school, right? You have more friends? You have no reason to be depressed."

Really? I have no reason? That's like walking up to a homeless person, and saying 'you have no reason to be sad' people can have their own reasons and feel whatever damn emotion they want. I don't want to be depressed, I can't help it. No matter how good my life may seem to outsiders, it's really not.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm still failing maths. Which I've just gave up on entirely." I said.

"Can't you get a tutor?" She asked.

"It's not that easy. People actually have to wanna be around you to do that. And besides, I'm literally on a kindergarten level. I'm that freaking dumb." I tell her.

Honestly, math makes me feel like the biggest dumbass ever. I just can't do it.

"She purses her lips. "Your not dumb, Eleanor. You just need to apply yourself." She says.

I roll my eyes again. "And about the friends thing, I literally have two friends that I tolerate." I say, before grabbing my coat and standing up.

I walk out the door and find my mom and sister. Flipping through magazines and texting.

"Lets go," I say.

They look up at me and gather their stuff.

We go down the elevator and locate my car. I pull out my keys and start it as my mom hops in the passenger side and sister grabs the back.

My moms very chatty, so on the way home, which is a thirty minute drive the way, she yacks about how there was a cute guy in the office or how she gained a new follower on twitter.

She's in her late thirties, so she thinks she can still be cool.

My sister pesters me about changing the radio station every ten minutes. The radio which I like to be on pop, she likes country.

Quite the ride, I must say. But that's how it always is. Eventually we make it back home and I run inside straight to my bedroom.

I plugged my headphones in and listening to music. Getting lost in fantasy world.