The Eleanor Diaries

Chapter 4. Over Again

"Can we take the same road two days in the same clothes?

And I know just what she'll say if I can make all this pain go,

Can we stop this for a minute?

You know, I can tell that your heart isn't in it or with it." -One Direction, "Over Again,"

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I finally get home and the moment I step in, my mom is shoving a phone in my face.

I raise my brow and try to figure out who it is, but she doesn't answer. The person is waiting for a reply. "Eleanor?" a voice rang out.

I recognized it instantly. I sighed. "Hi Dad," I greeted.

"How was school?" He asked in a bored tone.

"Gee, you sound trilled to be talking to me." I noted.

He sighed loudly. "Don't start. It's been a long day."

I rolled my eyes. "You know I didn't have the greatest day either, if you care." I stated.

"If I didn't care, I wouldn't have asked." He replied.

"You just wanna know if I went, so that the court doesn't question you, right?" I said.

"Damn it! I'm getting tired of your bullshit!" There goes the snap.

I hold back tears. But this little conversation and today's events have made me realize what I have to do.

I simply hang up. I wordlessly hand the phone back to my mother and make my way upstairs.

I throw my backpack on the bed, yank off my jacket and make my way into my bathroom.

I pull my hair outta my face and stare in the mirror.

I see why guys don't like me. The boring shade of brown and style of hair, the lifeless blue eyes, the amount of baby fat that everyone says 'isn't noticeable' but I know it's there. And worst of all, my personality.

I can be such a bitch. I can be a real pain in the ass. I'm such a bother to everyone. I'm not the sharpest pencil in the pouch either.

And that word. That one word that has the power to do so much, yet can mean so little, stays in my mind. Which word, you ask? Sharpest. Sharp.

My eyes narrow to see a sharp and shiny object out of the corner of my eye. My eyes linger to the silver that seems to shine in my bathrooms fluorescent lights.

No. I tell myself. No, no, no.

I feel the tears fall and my emotions get the best of me. I smash my fist into my mirror, letting the shards fall wherever they land.

I pull back my hand to see badly bloody knuckles. I simply crash to the floor and stare at nothing.

I've almost completely hit rock bottom.