Marcel

Chapter 35

Marcel's POV

“Marcel, you haven't talked since lunch,” Cami says on the ride home.

I look blankly out the window and shrug.

“Marcel.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be... Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No. It's not one of those days. Today I feel like keeping to myself.”

“Okay... You're gonna go to the lake, aren't you?”

“No.”

“Was that a lie?”

I sit silent.

“Marcel...”

“Stop saying my name like that.”

She's taken a back, “Fine. Do whatever you want. I won't interrupt,” she says coldy.

“Cami, you know I-”

“No, forget about it. You obviously have some idea in your mind. Go do it.”

“I'm sorry...”

“Call me if you need anything...”

She usually waves when I walk into my house. Today she drove away in a blur...

*

I haven't been back to the lake since... the incident...

I lied to my mom and said I was going to the library. She doesn't want me here. I need to be here though. It's the only place that's peaceful.

Or was peaceful.

It was a mistake to even come here. I can't believe I lied to my mom. I've never done that before...

I sit in my car, looking out at the lake. The sun is just beginning to set. The sky is a mix of blues and oranges, it's beautiful. Cami would've loved it...

Cami... I hope she's not mad at me... I was really rude today. She did nothing wrong, but I didn't talk to her much. I was just upset... I hope she's alright.

I slowly step out of my car. I take small steps to the dock, I'm nervous. I'm already having flashbacks to that night.

Walking deeper.

The freezing water.

Cami screaming.

Crying.

Marcel, stop. Stop. You need to stop.

I shake my head to clear the thoughts. I don't want to remember.

I slowly walk up the dock. It's feels like forever until I get to the edge. I shake the handful of rocks I'm holding and put my old yearbooks beside me on the dock. I toss a rock in the water, watching it skip.

“Nerd,” I whisper, tossing another rock in.

“Loser.”

With each name, I talk louder and toss another rock in. After seven rocks I find myself just throwing them as far away as possible.

Tears are starting to stream down my cheeks.

Great...

I thought I was getting better... Maybe not...

I collapse in my sadness and sit at the edge. I dip my finger in the water and draw swirls on the dock.

Stop crying.

I run my hands through my hair and shut my eyes tight.

Stop crying.

I hug my legs together and hold them close to my chest.

Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying.

I decide to look at my old yearbooks. I pick up the freshman yearbook first. I flip through the pages. No one wrote anything in my yearbook that year...

“Tomlinson,” I whisper, searching for his name.

I find him. A big “X” is written across his picture. It's so deep that the paper's almost ripped...

I go to Ethan's picture. A huge “?” is written on his picture.

I forgot about that... Ethan and I used to be best friends... Until freshman year. He used to be nerdy... We were inseparable. Then during the summer, he grew up. No more glasses or braces. He got muscles and started playing football. He grew taller and he became a lady's man.

No more Ethan and Marcel.

I never fully understood what happened to us. I always hoped he'd come back to me. Freshman year, he just stopped talking to me. We hungout once, but it wasn't the same.

He had changed. I hadn't...

Then one day, I started talking to him at school. He got so mad at me. He said I was embarrassing and a loser. He never wanted me to be near him again.

That's when he started bullying me. He bullied me with Louis' group of friends...

I cried for days.

“Hello?” I hear someone whisper. It breaks my thoughts and brings me back to the real world. Is someone here? I don't recognize the voice... I hear footsteps approaching. Who is it? My heart is racing, it feels like it might explode. My hands are shaking. I frantically wipe my cheeks and stand up. I grab the remaining rocks in case I need to protect myself. I slowly turn around to see someone looking at me.

“Marcel?”

I drop the rocks and they tumble down loudly.

“L-Louis?”

I hope you guys like this chapter. I just wanted to let you know, I read all your tweets, even if I don't reply or favorite. My twitter was getting bombarded last week, it was crazy!!

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