Rosebud Boys (Snowbaz fanfic)

Nightmares

I had no idea. How was I supposed to know? That bloody thumping idiot can't swim. I nearly actually killed him. I had always thought about, it but now...
Snow sits next to me, shivering. I'm almost as cold as him. I wonder, "How could this POSSIBLY get any worse?"

"Why did y-you..." Snow starts, but trails off. He coughs up more water (I'm surprised he could fit so much in him) and looks away. I can't believe I actually almost did it.

"Why did I save you?" I finish, looking out over the moat. He nods ever so slightly, and I grimace. He's so pale, nothing like the usually radiant Simon I know. "Well, it's mostly because I want there to be an audience when I finally end you." He shudders, and glares at me. He doesn't seem happy, not like he was earlier. He was laughing so hard when he pushed me in.

"I'm r-really not in th-the mood f-for that kind of t-talk right now, thanks." Those words are simultaneously powerful, and vulnerable.

"Well, sorry, but..." I would have finished the sentence, I swear I would have, but the little bastard fell asleep. On my shoulder. I'm already soaking wet, and so is he, but this isn't going to help. Wait. Nevermind. He's surprisingly much warmer than me already. It's pleasant. I stare at him for a while, as per usual, and join him.

My nightmares are much worse than usual. Snow usually features in them, dying some horrible way or the other, but it's much worse tonight. It's one image of him repeating over, and over, and over. He's at the bottom of the moat, reaching up towards me, pleading with only his eyes. I try to save him every time, but I can't move. When I finally do, though, it's only my foot. It reaches forward and kicks him unconscious, and I get a front row seat to watch him drown. This same scenario. Over, and over, and over. All night long. I can't stand it. It bothers me more than it should.

I open my eyes just a bit, enough to let them adjust to the bright light of the sunrise. It's much earlier than I usually wake up, but that's probably a result of my sensitivity to the sun. I can feel Snow stirring, too, because somehow, we ended up sleeping right next to each other. Strange how the universe hates me. The thought of this event is going to kill me later.

"Morning, git," I snap as he stands up.

"Back at you." He brushes off his now-dry clothes, and immediately starts off towards to gates. He never once looks back at me. Seeing as his back is turned, I take the opportunity to sniff around for a stray mouse. I am absolutely starving.

Eventually I find a nest of mice, and drain them all. Except the mum. Population stuff and all that. After I finish them off, I head towards the castle as well. I've only satisfied one of my hungers, and I can smell breakfast from here. I am overwhelmed (again) by my own hunger, and break into a sprint. I reach the doors to the dining hall very quickly, and use a quick Open Sesame to open them. If anyone ever said that it's not important to make an entrance was wrong.

The muffins were especially good today, but everything tastes great when you're hungry. Snow took all of the scones. I'm not kidding, not even a little bit. He took the crumbs, too (It's kind of disgusting). I guess hunger is a mutual feeling today, but I blame that on the fact that we both missed dinner last night. He sees me staring and I sneer at him. Nothing has changed, but we do still have to sleep outside again.