Hi. This is my first time trying to write anything. Please judge me. And then tell me. Curse me out and do whatever. It'll help me learn. Anyway......here's a little description of the book/novel/autobiography/only God fucking knows what.
This is not a fiction story. This is an account of things I learn, realize, or experience in life. None of the chapters are connected to each other. I don't have a regular update schedule, because I probably won't learn/realize/experience things every day. Also, I feel like I sound like a cold heartless robot...sorry.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"I just wanna go home and sleep". I was lying down on my bed. My arms and legs sprawled out to all four corners. It was comfortable. No one is at home and I'm at peace. And yet my brain was saying "I just wanna go home and sleep."
Whether you are a teen or a functioning(or not) adult human being when we face emotional pain the first thing our brain wants is for it to stop. We want to run and hide. We want peace. Take shelter in a safe haven. People usually find peace at home. We want to go home, just forget everything and lie down. Just Sleep. Be at peace.
I had that. Yet my brain said, "I wanna go home and sleep."
But sometimes that home just can't cut. The ones who have a place where they find that sort of peace are very lucky. Because sometimes, that place, that safe haven that you want to run to is never there. Even at home, you can't find that peace. Your own home can't let you lie down and forget all troublesome fears. Heck! sometimes it's home that gives you nightmares. Sometimes it's home where your problems began.
Everyone is hurting in one way or another. Everyone feels pain. A ruthless, unending, excruciating pain. It makes you scream for help. You want to be somewhere else.
But you are already home.
The place that you are supposed to run to.
Where you are supposed to find peace.
The place where you are supposed to not have your head feel like a thousand bells ring at the same time.
Everybody runs home when they want to cry and yell and scream and let all go.
But I can't.
I'm stuck here. Lying on my bed. At home. In silence. A silence where everything is screaming, making you want to run, but no one can hear the screams.
And I'm stuck here. Most importantly, alone.
Nothing triggered this feeling. I didn't come running to my room to feel safe. And yet the pain I live with every day reminds me that I want to go "home".
And I can't.
But I'm still here lying on my bed. While my brain begs "I want to go home and sleep."
