[The truth runs wild, like a tear down a cheek] ~ HEAVEN by Troye Sivan
*Flashback*
"Daaaaaan? Can we play mario kart?" Phil asked from the living room. Dan walked in from the kitchen and smiled at Phil's pouting face. "Why, so you can get beat again." Dan teased, sitting down on the couch next to Phil. Phil laughed and playfully punched Dan in the arm. Then his face got all serious.
"How are you doing Dan?" He asked and Dan sat back, dreading the question Phil often asked. He knew Phil did it because he cared about him but Dan never knew how to answer. "I guess, I'm doing all right." Dan said, mentally slapping himself for the vague answer. Phil narrowed his eyes and stared hard into Dan's eyes, like he was trying to see some hidden secret behind Dan's boring brown eyes. Phil must've not seen anything, because he sat back and relaxed. Dan let some relief flow through him, glad that Phil couldn't see his arms.
They did decide to play mario kart, and Phil ended up winning only once. The one time he won, he jumped up and danced around the room. Dan couldn't help but smile at the lovable idiot. See, Dan had kind of developed a crush on his best friend. But Dan knew Phil was his best friend, and nothing more. But when he won, Dan couldn't help but smile. The boy brought joy wherever he went, and Dan loved that about Phil. Each day, Phil chased the darkness in Dan's life away. And Dan loved Phil.
"Hey Phil? Can I, uh, tell you something?" Dan said, finally mustering the courage to come out. He hadn't even come out to his parents yet, but he wanted to tell Phil because he knew that Phil would be supportive. Boy, had he been wrong. "Phil, I-I'm gay." Dan said, stuttering. Phil froze, and turned his questioning eyes on Dan.
"What?" He said and Dan was scared. He had never seen Phil look like this before. Phil was always sunshine and rainbows, he rarely got angry. So when Phil turned to Dan with pure rage, Dan was terrified. He never thought the boy he loved could say those words, and run out screaming that he was disgusted. And most importantly, Dan had never felt so alone.
That night was the first night Dan realized he wanted to kill himself. If his best friend, the boy he loved, couldn't accept him, then who would? Dan was so stupid. He always messed everything up. The world would be better off without him. He went to bed that night feeling empty.
*End Flashback*
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"P-phil?" Dan stuttered, after Phil pulled away. He looked into those ocean blue eyes, and saw an emotion he had never seen in them before. Love. Raw love for the boy he tried to jump off the bridge. Love for the boy who he called words Dan didn't like to say. Love for the idiot who had loved him for months.
"I really like you Dan. It's not love yet and it took me a long time to realize. To be honest, I was scared when you came out to me. Those words just started pouring out of my mouth and I didn't know how to apologize and now I just feel like an idiot. But I can't live without you, Dan Howell." Phil said, and Dan was speechless. He didn't know what to say. He had already poured his heart out into that stupid letter, and Phil already knew how he felt. So what could Dan say?
"I love you." Dan said, and then Dan's world started to brighten again. All because of the boy who loved lions. Phil smiled slowly, and Dan followed suit. Soon, they were both smiling like idiots, staring into each other's eyes, forgetting the fateful fight that drove them apart. But it seemed that Dan couldn't get a moment of peace, because the door was pushed open again.
"D-dan?" His mum said, sniffling. "Oh my god, you're okay. You're okay." She said, rushing over to him and pulling him into a suffocating hug. Dan looked over at Phil, and Phil was silently laughing at Dan's face. "I'm sorry Mum." Dan said, trying his best to not cry. His mum had already started crying, and Dan could feel the tears dripping on the hospital gown. After an extremely long hug, Ms. Howell finally acknowledged the other boy in the room.
"Hello Phil." She said stiffly and Phil looked down guiltily. "Mum, Phil...saved my life." Dan said, and she turned her eyes to Dan. They softened and she moved around the bed to give Phil a quick hug. She pulled up another chair, and the three talked for a little while, and for the first time in a long time, Dan was okay again. He wasn't happy, yet, but he was getting there. And knowing that the boy he loved liked him made him feel 10 times better.
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A/N: Hello people reading this! I know, I'm sorry for the short and crappy update but eh, I kinda like it. I am trying to update more often, but school sucks. Anyways, I thought that the ending was kinda nice, but there will be more flashbacks explaining everything, and they are not happy so just be prepared for some angst. Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave a comment and vote to tell me what you think! Much love <3
~Mae
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The End ~ Phan
FanfictionDan didn't know how he ended up like this. Everything was fine, before he came into his life. Sure, Dan was depressed, but he had his own messed up way of dealing with it. But when he came into his life and showed him all of the good things, he chan...
