The End ~ Phan

The Beginning of the End

[A lifetime of laughter At the expense of the death of a bachelor] - Death of a Bachelor by Panic! At the Disco

Dan didn't know how he ended up like this. Everything was fine, before he came into his life. Sure, Dan was depressed, but he had his own messed up way of dealing with it. But when he came into his life and showed him all of the good things, he changed Dan's mind. That was until he left. Until he called Dan a freak and left him all alone, crying on the floor, wishing he didn't exist. Everything was fine, before Phil Lester.

Dan thought all of this as he sat on the edge of the bridge. Phil had discovered things about Dan no one else knew. And called him a freak for it. All of Dan's few friends left him. He decided that he just couldn't take it anymore. Everyone hated him and he was just a waste of space. So he hopped in his car, and drove to the bridge. He left a note for all of the people in his life, but he didn't care if they read it. He knew they didn't care about him, so why would they care that he decided to leave this horrid earth. A waste of space finally gone from their lives. A burden finally lifted from their shoulders.

Dan was already dead, after all. To everyone else, he was a walking corpse. A failed attempt at a suicide. Might as well finish the job. That's what everyone thought. He knew they did. The glances at him told him everything he needed to know. They looked at him like he was the scum of the earth. And he started to believe it, after a while. It was easier, to accept that everyone hated you, then to have hope that someone didn't. Or, he tried to convince himself that it was easier.

He stared out into the sky, loving the last sunset he would ever see. And hating himself for wishing that Phil was here to see it with him. Even thinking his name caused Dan physical pain. The sunshine in his life gone all because of Dan. Everything was Dan's fault, he deserved this. He finally made the decision, and stood up. He clutched the edge carefully and silently said goodbye to this awful place he was forced to live. He slowly let one of his hands let go of the railing. But, before he could let the other go and fall to his dramatic death, something grabbed him from behind.

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Dear Mum,

I'm going to miss you most. You were probably the only person in my life that cared about me, and listened to me. I know that me being gone is going to hit you hardest. I want to apologize. I'm sorry for being an awful son, and causing you so much pain. But I also wanted to thank you. Thank you for never leaving, even when Dad did. I wanted to thank you for accepting that I was gay. I wanted to thank you for being the only person who did anything to help. And I wanted to thank you for loving me, no matter what.

But I guess that's what parents are supposed to do, huh? Dad never really got that. But you did. You loved me, even when I did stupid things. And that's why I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm leaving you. Because I really do love you. But I can't live anymore. It's too much, and I've already failed to leave once. I'm just a waste of space to everyone else, and I don't want to be. So I'm leaving. I love you and try to move on after me, okay? Take care of Phil. Even though he hates me, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

I'm sorry,

Dan

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Dear Dad,

I hate you. I hope you know that. You left your own son because he was gay. You are a disgusting human. You failed at the one thing you were supposed to do. Love your son. And I'm not doing this because of you. But I sure as hell hope that when I'm gone, you'll realize what you did. That you caused your own son to hate himself. Maybe you'll change for the better once I'm gone. Or maybe you'll stay the same, and keep causing pain in the world. But, whatever you choose, it won't change my decision. I'm leaving for good, and I honestly don't care if you miss me or not. Because I sure as hell won't miss you.

I'm not sorry,

Dan

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A/N: Hello there! So, this is a new phan story that I have decided to write. It's kinda intense at the start, but I promise things will get better. :)

The italicized parts are the letters that Dan wrote. Also, I don't know if this story is any good but I will try to update as much as possible, I have a couple chapters pre-written, just so I can be ahead. But I am hoping to update every Sunday from now on. 

Leave a comment and a vote to help support the story, and if anyone wants to be friends, message me ;)

See you guys later, and thanks for reading!