Invisible Girl Book 1 (Chat MD Series #1) (TO BE PUBLISHED)

Day 68

(Jenessy's journal)

Wala kahit seen...

Nakakatatlong Hi na ko.

Siguro, masyado ko siyang nasaktan. Nanghihinayang tuloy ako sa mga messages niya na hindi ko nabasa dahil deactivated yung account ko.

I told him that if I love, I won't leave. That I will hold on. But I turned my back on him at the first sign of being unrecognized.

I didn't even wait for everything to be clarified. I didn't even ask him. I just left with my assumptions because I'm selfish. I left because I'm too proud.

Sabi niya, kapag may problema, tanungin ko siya directly. But instead of asking him first, I lied to him about being there at the park. I ranted. I lashed at him. I hated him.

Kahit na alam kong pwedeng ako yung problema. Dahil masyado akong tense. Dahil nagkunwari akong nagbabasa nung lumapit na siya.

Sabi niya, trust in him a little. I told him I would. But at the first sign of something that looked like betrayal, I chose to misunderstand him and disappear.

Sabi niya, I should be a little more confident about myself. I told him I will try. But I backed out in every confrontation. I backed out when I'm compromised. I cowered when I could have just told him who I am.

I'm so weak. I should have believed in him a little. I should have had second thoughts.

Sabi niya, I am sincere. And now I don't believe myself either.

I'm just a girl living the dream of being noticed by my first love. I'm just a girl who's ready to commit when it suits me.

Kaya hindi ako magtataka kung galit siya. He tolerated me. He gave me space. He respected my decision to be unknown when it was so easy to investigate or catch me red-handed.

He waited for me to have the guts to admit my name.

He remains true to his word. I'm the one who's stupid.

Pero maghihintay ako. Hindi na uli ako susuko gaya last time. Hanggang maging malinaw lahat.

Kahit i-seen niya lang muna ako uli. O sungitan. O tawaging annoying. At i-capslock.

Kahit umulit kami uli mula sa simula.

Maghihintay lang ako.

This time, I won't back down