Blind in a Way (Frerard)

Thirty Eight

The waiting was torture. The hours felt like years as the four of us sat in an empty waiting room.

Mikey was leaning on Pete, biting his lip nervously while Pete ran his finger's through Mikey's hair soothingly. Gerard's mom was twisting her fingers in her lap. I was just leaning on the arm of my chair, letting my foot bounce restlessly.

I couldn't stand the not knowing. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to know for myself that he was okay. How long could this take?

A few more agonizing minutes went by before the nurse that wheeled Gerard out of his room stepped into where we all sat. He smiled at us as we all turned to look at him.

"He's out!" The nurse said, cheerfully. "Just resting now."

"Did it work?.." His mother asked, quietly.

Nurse Ross shrugged. "We can't be sure until we take the bandages off. Even then, he may take awhile to react."

"It may not work at all?" I asked, feeling my heart sink.

The nurse frowned. "He's been so long without vision that, even with this surgery, his body may reject it."

"How the hell does that work?" Mikey asked, sitting up from Pete's shoulder.

"It's a lot of medical mumbo jumbo that would really hurt your brains because, believe me, it hurt mine." The nurse replied. His expression begged for us not to ask for the elaborate medical explanation.

"When can we see him?" I asked instead, making the nurse sigh in relief.

"I can get you as soon as he wakes up from the gas." He said with a nod, "Shouldn't be too long."

"Thank you..."

We all grew quiet as the nurse left. Gerard's mom was the first one to make a sound.

"Somethings should be left alone." She said, softly. "It was a miracle that he survived that crash after what it did to my husband..." Her eyes wielded with tears and she quickly hid her face in her hands.

Mikey got up from his chair and hurried over to her, wrapping a comforting arm around her. "They said he's fine, it'll be okay."

"But it might not even work." Gerard's mother regained her composure, slightly, wiping her eyes. "It might be the same as if we had just left him alone."

I looked down at my hands. 'What if' questions crept into my mind faster than a hyperactive squirrel running for an acorn.

Would it really be that bad if Gerard still couldn't see? He was already accustomed to the way his world worked. He knew how to navigate the darkness surrounding him... He'd be okay if it didn't work.

"I just miss his eyes..." His mother began to speak again, holding onto Mikey's hand. "The expression behind them. The way they would squint up and sparkle as he laughed. The color he always had me describe to him..."

"I haven't heard you describe the color of his eyes in years." Mikey said, quietly. "I almost forgot..."

"How would you describe them?" I asked.

She turned to me and let out a light laugh. "Your eyes are hazel too." She commented with a sad smile. "Hazel was the one color I could accurately describe, because of him..."

She took a deep breath before she continued, "Green is the color of life. Nature. The soft grass you feel beneath your toes, the fresh leaves on the trees that dance in the wind...That is green. Brown... Brown is the absence of life. It's the crunchy leaf you find in the colder months. It's the dirt you feel under your barefeet where grass isn't allowed to grow. It's the end of nature's life cycle... That is hazel in a way I suppose... A combination of both ends of nature's life cycle..."