Green-haired girl. (5sos fanfic)

22

It was finally Friday. The week was over and the party was tonight, which I still have to notify my dad about. I decided to call him.

"Hey dad" I say into the phone.

"Hey sweetie, everything ok? You don't usually call me at work." He said sounding concerned.

"No no, everything is fine. I just wanted to tell you that I was invited to a party tonight and that I would be spending the night at a friends house after."

"A friends house? That's great!" He says. He knows about the bullying and everything that happened last year so I guess he's happy that I have found people again. I kind of am too.

"Just make sure to be careful and don't drink too much!" He says.

"Of course not, I'll call you when I wake up" I tell him. We say our goodbyes and hang up.

I go downstairs to get changed. Being a girl it takes me like 30 minutes to decide what to wear, but I finally found an outfit. I go with a cute sequined sweater, a long silver necklace, some navy skinnies and a pair of leather booties.

I pack a few things and soon enough I hear Cal's car horn outside beeping for me to come out.

"Thanks for picking me up" I tell him.

"Don't mention it." He says coolly.

When we get to Ashton's, everyone else is already there. The boys are playing video games and the girls are in the kitchen talking. I decide to try and socialize with Reida and Zoella before we go.

After quite a bit of time of talking about things with Zoe and Reida I get up to go see the boys. I hate when groups are an uneven number because someone always gets left out, and that someone is always me. I mostly just sat on the couch and played on my phone until it was time to go to the party.

We all walk in a group because whoever's house isn't that far away, I guess, and I suppose everyone wanted to drink tonight.

I know what that feels like. When I get into my, well how do you say this, "moods" I guess, I consume enough alcohol to drown an army. I always wake up feeling like crap, but in the moment it helps me, well it seems to.

Once we get into the house, which is pretty big might I add, we throw off our coats and make our way into the living room. There are already quite a few people here and it's pretty warm inside.

"Wanna come to the kitchen with me?" Ashton asks.

"Sure."

Ashton grabs a red cup and fills it from beer in the keg and offers it to me.

"No thanks, beer isn't really my thing, I prefer other alcohol." I state.

"Ok, well there's probably some vodka or something on one of the counters over there." He points.

I make my way over and pour some into my cup. I've decided to not drink until later though.

A few hours later, Reida is sitting on Calum's lap and they are making out, both completely wasted.

I'm awkwardly sitting beside them on the couch fiddling with my sweater. I don't know where Ashton or any of them have gone and I'm too afraid to get up in case some one takes my spot.

I was pretty much the only person at the party who was still completely sober. But not anymore. If I was going to be alone, even if Cal and Reida were beside me I still felt alone, I needed something.

I quickly downed the pure vodka in my cup, it was about 1/3 full and now it's empty. I feel a familiar sting in my throat and want more.

I go to the kitchen and drink more vodka, straight from the bottle, silently thanking whoever had left it there.

My vision is blurring and the room is beginning to spin. I'm not alone anymore though. I have voices with me. Voices that I am much too familiar with.

'You should go to the bathroom'

'No one wants you here, obviously that's why they left you'

'Theres knives on the counter, just use those'

I try to cover my ears to block out the voices, but they are deep inside me. I thought to have escaped them for the past couple weeks, but now they are back.

I find myself running to the bathroom.

I rip open the cupboards searching for anything I can use; a razor, a pair of scissors, anything really.

Finally I find a light pink razor and hold it over my wrist.

'Do it, it's not like anyone cares anyways'

'You know how good it feels. Just slice!'

I obey the voices and push the razor down into my wrist and drag it across. It feels glorious before it begins to sting. Before I can realize what I am doing I have already made about 15 incisions.

I scream an throw the razor away from myself and just start crying, my buzz from the alcohol starting to fade.

*Ashton's POV*

Luke and I decided to go downstairs for a bit because the living room was slightly boring. Luke had had way more than enough to drink by now and was grinding some chick and I was laughing hard at how ridiculous he looked.

Some girl from school named like Vicky or Victoria or Tori or something kept trying to grind against me, but I wasn't really in the mood.

"Come on Ashy babe, dance with me" she whined and pushed her butt into my hips. I didn't push her away but I didn't attempt to dance with her either. Luke looked to ridiculous that I couldn't imagine doing it.

She turned around so that the front of her hips were now pushed into mine and put her arms around my neck and started kissing me. Ok now I was uncomfortable.

I didn't even know this girl and also I was kind of worried about Kace seeing.

~~~~~

*Kaylee's POV*

I've done it again. I've tried my best to stop myself from harming, but I've done it again. All it took was to trust people to not leave me alone, which didn't happen. I hate being dependent of other people to not leave me, it always blows up.

And alcohol. That was a big influence on me doing it again. Usually it makes me forget, but this time it just amplified the problem and made the voices come back.

" Heu are you almost done in there?" A female voice asks from outside the door.

"Uhh yeah just gimme a minute." I quickly reply.

The bleeding has stopped and now my arm is just a mess of dried blood and scabs. I rinse off the dry blood and throw the razor in the trash. When I look in the mirror I see that my mascara is smudged under my eyes and my eyes are very red. I guess I could just blame that on the alcohol though, if Anyone asks.

"Whoa you ok? you were in the for a while." the girl says as soon as I open the door.

"Yeah I'm good, uh just a bad breakup." I lie. I'm starting to get really warm. I don't like talking to new people.

"Oh I get it, I've been there." She says, giving me a sympathetic look.

"Yeah well anyways, all yours now." I gesture towards the bathroom.