warmth {complete}

2||adding shadows to the walls of the cave

Mona's brown eyes meet mine as I push into her store--Shamlian's Books and Socks--and she grins. I return it and drift behind the counter to find my name tag and clip it on. Mona's cat Lilith is curled up on the cash register; I dip my face so we can nuzzle each other's noses. I still don't understand why Mona would name this sweet angel cat after the mother of all evil, but I can shorten it to Lily and roll with it.

"Where do you want me?" I ask Mona, tilting my head so I can meet her eyes. I'm 5'1" and she's just shy of six feet, so the height difference can be a little awkward at times.

"Shelving, please. The boxes are in the back," she says, waving a hand in the general direction of the storage room. I nod and head there, mindful of Lilith's quiet footfalls behind me.

"Is this my playlist?" I exclaim, bounding out of storage with a smile on my face. Two Hozier songs just played in a row, and now "Waves" by ISLAND is coming out gently from the speakers. Mona nods and ruffles my hair as she walks past me.

I make my way to a shelf close to the cash register and begin restocking the trashy romance novels we keep on display permanently. Lily makes herself comfortable in my lap, tiny cat paws kneading my jean-clad thigh until she finally settles into the crook of my knee and purrs.

I'm humming and singing softly, getting into the rhythm of alphabetizing, when I feel a presence at my side. I slowly drag my gaze from gray sneakers to gray eyes, trying my gosh dang best not to smile. I haven't seen Griffin in three days because we only have one class together, and the preppy private school kids have taken him under their wing. Our school is too big to have one popular group, but I'd say he's fallen in with one of them.

"Hello," he greets, taking a seat beside me. I resume shelving and give him a smile out of the corner of my eye. It's nice to feel his eyes on me again. Sometimes I catch him staring at me in Home Ec., but it's nothing like it was when I was giving him a tour and his entire attention was on me. It's a rush, but I like it.

"Hey," I say, instead of describing all the ways I want him to pay attention to me. "How can I help you?"

"What books do you have here?"

"Mmm, mostly erotica."

"Perfect. Do you have Fifty Shades of Grey?" he asks, scratching the back of his neck when I look at him instead of the books. Lilith stirs in my lap, so I stroke a soothing hand down her spine.

"Of course we do. I'd get it for you, but, you know...I've been chosen," I say, gesturing to the precious angel on my thighs. "It's in the J's, I believe, and I'd recommend paperback because it's cheaper."

He gives me a thumbs-up and stretches languidly to reach the appropriate shelf. I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to have limbs so long that I could just do a little yoga pose and be able to reach tall shelves while sitting, when his shirt rides up a little bit and exposes the tan skin of his stomach. I put my fist on my chin to hold my mouth closed.

"Got it," he remarks, smiling proudly at me and cradling the novel in his palms. I grin at him and return to my task.

"Janine will ring you up," I tell him, gesturing to the girl at the cash register. Mona has disappeared, presumably into the break room.

"Cool, okay, and um, just so you know, this is not for me," he informs me, gesturing to the book. I nod and suck my bottom lip between my teeth.

"It's okay if it is."

"Right, but it's not."

"Uh-huh. Janine, just so you know, this book is not for him," I say, twisting around to look at my coworker. She quirks a smile and asks Griffin if he's ready to checkout. Blushing, he nods and heads for the register.

He gives me a little wave and grazes the top of Lilith's pretty head on his way out, and I crane my neck to watch him open the book and crack the spine. Not for him, my tiny ass.

***

"How was your day, lovey?" my mother asks as she's spooning broccoli onto Dana's plate. I shrug, and she narrows her eyes. "Elaborate, please. How's Mona?"

"She's good, I think. The store was kinda busy so we didn't talk much. She wants to know if you're gonna start working there, Steph?" I say, directing the conversation to my sister. She looks up at me from her mashed potatoes and shakes her head.

"Not really into that, Kath. Sammy, will you pass me the salt?" Our brother nods and then Stephanie's distributing salt over her food. "Anyway, Bryan and I were at the ba--coffee shop, it was a coffee shop--across the street, and I saw you getting cozy with some ginger through the window."

Becca gasps and looks over at me. Her eyes are just like our father's--and mine--icy blue, ringed with gray. She's got Mom's hair, though, wavy and dark. Her gaze is round and wide, and she darts quick glances between Steph, Mom, and me. "My big sister? With a boy? Well, I never!"

"Shut up," I grumble, shoving steak into my mouth. "He's just this guy at my school, I gave him a tour on his first day and now we like know each other, I guess. He just wanted to buy some smut. Anyway, there aren't any coffee shops across the street from Sham's, doofus. Mother, did you catch that, she was at a bar! With Bryan, her boyfriend Bryan."

"Thank you, baby, I did catch that. I hope you and that boy get married. Children, would you go to your rooms while I speak with Stephanie?" Mom asks, warm eyes locked on my sister as I inch slowly out of my chair and up the stairs. My four remaining siblings follow after me, whispering to each other.

"Kathy, do you think Mom's gonna kill her, yes or yes?" Becca asks, latching onto my arm once we reach the landing. I roll my eyes and shrug. She pouts at me and scoops Dana into her arms before jogging into the room she shares with Steph.

I retreat to my bedroom and tidy up my desk before making a to-do list and slowly working through my homework. When I hear Steph and Becca's door open and close, I tip-toe quietly out of my room and down the stairs. Mom is in the kitchen, scrubbing dishes and listening to ABBA.

I hug her from behind and smile when she turns around to wrap her arms around me and kiss my hair. Once I get uncomfortable with the affection and silence I pull away and finish up the dishes with her.

"You okay?" I ask tentatively once we're done.

"Yes, baby, don't you worry about me," she dismisses, patting my cheek. "Go to bed, sweet girl."

I comply, jogging up the staircase as "Mamma Mia" starts playing. I pause to listen to my mom's sweet singing, and my eyes catch on the photo of she and my dad at their wedding twenty years ago. She's smiling and tucked under his chin, nothing like the way they were leading up to his death. They were always yelling and fighting, and it was hard to grieve him when our last memories were of his red face and the purple veins popping in his neck.

"Just one look, and I can hear the bells ring," Mom sings. I can hear her sock feet bouncing into the floor as she dances, and I let that wipe the memories away. She's happy now. We're all okay.