warmth {complete}

4||all you have is your fire and the place you need to reach

"So Jake's like, 'Becca, I love you,' and he tattooed my name on his hand."

My sister pauses and looks around at us for effect, taking in our reactions: I'm very confused, because I just came from the bathroom and I have no clue what's going on; Mom is frowning, but that's a pretty normal occurrence; Steph is looking up from her phone to raise her eyebrows at Becca; and the others weren't paying attention at all. Becca heaves a dramatic, teenager-y sigh, and slumps in her seat.

"Honey," my mother says, "I sincerely doubt this boy loves you. You're thirteen."

"Mom, we saw Pride and Prejudice and Zombies together!"

Well, that is the definition of love.

"Rebecca," Mom sighs, cradling her head in her hands, "I'm sure he likes you a lot, but love? And how does his mother feel about this tattoo on his hand?"

"His mother's dead," Becca sniffs, tossing her hair. "But at least she's not as overbearing as mine."

"Hey," Mom snaps. "Not cool. Finish your dinner and go up to your room."

"Fine," she snaps back. Then she stabs her fork into her meatloaf and eats it angrily. I didn't know you could eat angrily before today, but she clearly is. Her gaze flicks to mine, and she smiles meanly. "How was your day, Kathy? I heard a boy was rubbing your feet in Home Ec."

Mom raises a brow at me. "A boy was rubbing your feet in class?"

"It wasn't my fault. He's my FHEPO boyfriend. That's what they do."

"He's your boyfriend?"

"No, Mother, he's my for-Home-Ec.-purposes-only boyfriend. It's very chill. Don't worry about it," I tell her, waving a hand. I glance over at my youngest sister. "Dana's lapping up her milk again."

"Honey!" Mom exclaims. "You're not a dog. Drink it like a human, okay?"

Dana rolls her big gray eyes and chugs her milk like she's at a college party. I giggle softly behind my cup of sweet tea, and Mom clenches her jaw.

"My children are animals," she announces. "You're getting your feet rubbed by strangers— "

"He's not a stranger."

"You're licking your milk, and you're trying to fall in love at thirteen."

"Mom, I'm already in love," Becca says, bringing a hand to her heart so smilingly that I would probably laugh, if she were joking. "Accept it."

"Oh my God," my mother says, then she turns to Sam and cradles one of his ten-year-old-boy hands. "Honey, promise me you'll never be like them."

"Okay," he says, because he's a mama's boy at heart, even if he's a Kyle Westworth in front of his friends.

My mother kisses his cheek, shakes her fist in the general direction of her daughters, and slips into the kitchen to wash the dishes. She calls me in with her, and Becca whispers, "Ooh, she's in trouble," as I walk by. I don't flip her off, because she's thirteen and will for-sure tell on me.

"Yes, Mom?" I say, bringing my plate to the sink and rinsing it.

"Do we need to have the talk?" she asks me, lowering her voice and wiping her hands.

"No, thank you," I blurt, cheeks flushing. "I get it. Boy part goes into girl part. Sperm and eggs. Fertilization. Pregnancy. Baby."

"Excellent summary," she teases, kissing my cheek as she walks by.

"Yeah, good night!" I call, trekking up the stairs and attempting to cool my hot cheeks. I fan myself, eyes wide, and sink into my bed. My mattress is memory foam, which reminds me of a song by All Time Low, so I listen to it before I return to Hozier.

"Electing strange perfections in any stranger I choose," I sing, tapping my feet on the wall. "Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way." I stand up and shuffle my feet in a way that could be considered dancing. "And so I fall in love just a little oh little bit every day with someone new, I fall in love just a little oh little bit every day with someone new."

The boy who lives in the house next door stares at me through his window, and I stare back. He's like seven; he doesn't understand my teenager-y-ness. When "Like Real People Do" comes on and the boy leaves, I open my window and let the breezy May air drift into my room.

"I know that look, dear, eyes always seeking, was there in someone that dug long ago. So I will not ask you why you were creeping, in some sad way, I already know. So honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do."

And then I sway around my room for the ooh, ooh part of the song, humming along where I please. It's great, and this song is great, and my smile is very wide and very real,

***

I'm being forced to man the cash register today, because Mona's out and her stupid assistant manager hates me, and I really don't think it's good for business. My jaw has been clenched for the past hour, and if anyone else asks me where to find "the good stuff" and then winks, I'm going to cry. Seriously, it sounds like I'm dealing drugs.

But no, I'm just selling adult novels. Which is code for trashy romance.

Not that there's anything wrong with trashy romance; the customers are just always so embarrassed by it, and that makes me embarrassed, and it's a whole thing. A whole, sucky thing.

And, to top it all off, I'm not allowed to listen to anything except for the music the store plays. And the store plays really sucky music. I don't even know how many times I've heard "What Makes You Beautiful" today. It was nice the first time, but I'm starting to hate it.

"Hi, will that be all?" I ask the old woman in front of me, pasting on my helping-people-is-fun smile. "We have post cards over by the front entrance, ma'am, if you'd like some."

"No, thank you," she says, peering into my eyes like there's something there. "Are you Katherine Worthington?"

"Uh, yes?"

She smiles thinly and bobs her head. "I'm Angela Greene. My grandson is in attendance of your school, I believe?"

"Oh, Griffin?"

"Yes, Griffin."

"Yeah, he goes to my school. It was nice meeting you, ma'am."

"Mm-hmm." She lifts up her purchase. "Is this any good?"

"Lassoing the Virgin Male Order Bride," I read aloud, already blushing. "I dunno. I think my mom read it, maybe."

"Well, it certainly looks good, doesn't it?"

Then she winks and walks away.

A/N: This chapter was crap, but that's okay. The song in the media section is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Enjoy. Thank you for reading.