"I'm at the end of my wits with half the shit that gets in." -Eminem
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So I'm here, that's one thing I should wrap my head around before I open the door to goodness knows who. I'm not in some fantasy land where Dr. Reid is with me and Derek is nowhere to be found...
I'm here. Trapped in a downward spiral. I can deal with the 'Derek not knowing' thing, as bad as that may seem. I've lied to a lot of people in the past. I can't deal with why my mind is running wild as I imagine who just knocked on my door.
"Hello?" I say tentatively as I creak open the door.
"D-d-doctor Reid!" I stutter, my face turning bright red.
"Alice," he breathes, nervously taking a step closer. "I-Is Morgan here?" He asks. Such a stupid thing to call Derek. Might as well call me Portman. They probably do.
"No." I answer firmly, shutting the door on him. I can't see him right now. I have to get my thoughts under control.
His fingers in the door frame pause my current motion, and I sigh stubbornly. "What do you want, Reid?" I demand, trying to keep my tone harsh instead of fainting with some unknown emotion.
I step out of the doorway and onto the small porch. My head is spinning as I look up at him.
"Why are you here?" I demand a second time, rephrasing my words so I don't sound like an idiot.
He looks incredibly nervous but somehow very sure at the same time as he bends down and kisses me.
On the lips.
Again.
And, like last time, I kiss him back.
I am such an awful person.
I lose all awareness of what I'm actually doing, and I just let him keep kissing me.
Or, I guess, I keep kissing him.
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Just sitting here on the couch, running again and again through every sin I have probably committed in the last hour, I groan.
Of course, Reid had left about a half an hour ago, but I cannot stop thinking of what I have done. I just made out with a guy whose first name is a mystery!
I just cheated on the man who swooped in like a superhero and saved me after calling the cops, the person who, only earlier today, confessed his love for me! And I cheated on him!
What kind of awful creature does that?
I am probably the most sorry excuse of a human being the human race has ever known.
I should be locked up in a dungeon and be forced to eat rat feces until I finally starve to death or die of disease...
Wow, I'm messed up.
But really. I am a terrible, awful, selfish person whose only excuse for her behavior is...
NOTHING.
What would Derek say if he knew that his valiant efforts to save me were rewarded by me kissing his co-worker?
I pick up the phone and call my closest friend, Shelly.
"Come get me!" I moan into the phone as she picks up. Being the greatest human being in the history of mankind, she hangs up as I hear the distant unlocking of a car door.
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"I mean, it's not my fault right?" I plead with Shelly as she parks the car at the movie theater.
She looks at me incredulously. "It's utterly, completely, and hopelessly your fault."
I groan and push my feet into the faded carpet of her SUV.
"Lis, Derek saved you. He swept you off your feet. Literally. He confessed his love for you, for goodness' sake!" She's practically shouting.
"I know, Shelly. I know. But I don't know what to do! I can't stop thinking about him." I grimace as I think of his facial features, the way his eyebrows almost touch when he's nervous, how his eyes are such an incredibly warm brown you almost think his face is photoshopped. He's glorious.
But he's not mine.
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Hidden // Spencer Reid
Fanfiction"Well, it's Alice now," I correct him, and his brow furrows. "No, it's not." I roll my eyes. "Yes, Spencer. It's Alice. I didn't change my name for people to go poking around in my past." "But what's your real name, the one your mother and fath...
