"We're gonna have a problem here." -Eminem
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Oh gosh. Did I seriously just do that? Did I really just let Reid in while Derek was here? Not a big deal. Not a big deal...
"Hey, pretty boy. You remember Alice, right?" Derek offers, nodding to me. Reid nods, acting as if we hadn't been kissing under 24 hours ago.
That thought. I involuntarily shiver. Both of them look at me like I'm a zebra in a monkey exhibit. "I'm just a little cold," I excuse myself honestly. It is a little cold, but if Derek ever pays any attention to me, he knows I love the cold. Shit.
"Okay?" Derek gives me a weird look. I smile awkwardly.
"I'm, uh, I'm going to just go and, uh, heat up some spaghetti." It is getting to be around dinnertime. Reid stops me, trying to sputter out a sentance.
"You, w-w-w-we're going t-to dinner." He manages, and I nod slowly. Okay? I'm not part of the team.
"What pretty boy means to say is that you're welcome to come to dinner with the rest of the team," Derek explains, smiling. I grin up at him. This is going to be awkward.
"Is that really okay?" I ask tentatively.
"O-of course, A-A-Alice." Reid assures me, ducking his head awkwardly.
Shit! "Alright. Thanks, of course I'll go with you guys." I pause for a moment. "I want to be part of the family too," I add, hoping that it will trick Derek into thinking that I think of Reid as a brother. I'd rather I did, then this wouldnt be happening.
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This is all my fault. That's the only thing I'm thinking as I sit clumsily next to Emily and Derek. Reid is sitting next to Emily. He looks almost upset that I didn't sit with him. Well what the fuck does he want me to do? I have a fucking boyfriend.
"So, Portman, how was your month?" JJ asks me cheerily. It's been a month since the first time I saw Reid. I feel like it's been a lifetime. I tense up a bit. "What is it?" She inquires, a serious expression taking over her previously delighted mood.
Derek looks over at me, then looks apologetically at JJ. "She hates her last name," He explains. Oh, okay. No secrets.
I nod. Although she doesn't know why, that my sister was called Portman by her athletic friends, she apologizes.
"Sorry, Por-Alice, it's a habit." She explains, and I smile.
"It's fine, JJ." I turn towards the rest of them; Hotch as robotic as always, Rossi laughing heartily at Emily's joke, Penelope already talking about her new fuzzy boots to Derek, and Reid. Just sitting there, looking like a lost puppy.
It seems like either they're ignoring me, or they're fine that I'm here. Either way, it makes me uncomfortable. How much will they hate me if they find out that I cheated on Derek? With Dr. Reid?
Maybe I'm just such an awful person, it wouldn't have surprised them. Maybe they'll just take it all out on Reid. Poor Reid. No. Poor world. This planet is just full of messed-up shit-for-brains people who make it seem okay to have affairs because so many famous people do it. The planet makes it seem okay for people to rape your sister and beat her to death while you sit there screaming, legs too frozen to move.
To be a normal girl, I would probably have had to carried pepper spray with me that day. Then Charlotte would be with me, then I wouldn't even know either of these men existed. Then I could be married in a few years and live in some town in South Carolina, then go to Hilton Head Island for vacation.
Maybe I would have just not been so desparate to see "The Hunger Games" if I had friends, or if I had a boyfriend at that age, like a normal 24-year-old. On her 25th birthday, she wouldn't have had to watch her sister get murdered because she'd be on a classy date with her boyfriend...
Okay. That's not me. This is me.
"And you, ma'am?" The waiter looks expectantly at me, a notepad ready in his hands. "Uh, j-just spaghetti, p-p-please," I stutter, looking down as my face grows hot. Derek bursts into laughter; Emily shakes slightly as she covers her mouth with her hand.
"Something to drink, Alice." Derek corrects me. Shit. I look like a child now, her older brother cackling at the small mistake she made.
"Water." I mutter, not looking up. I sigh and rub my temples.
"Y-You okay?" Reid asks, leaning past Emily as she smiles and nods at a story JJ is telling.
"Fine," I respond, turning away from him. I've gotten myself in deep shit with this one. Deep shit.
I excuse myself from the table moments later, shuffling to the bathroom with my hands shoved deep inside my jean pockets.
"You can do this," I whisper to myself as I lean on the sink, staring at my dimly-lit reflection in the foggy mirror. I look like a homeless person. My hair is in a day-old french braid, I only have too-heavy eyeliner on. My eyes are bloodshot due to obvious lack of sleep, noticable in the dull look in them as well. My lips, lacking the bright red lipstick that usually defines them, look pale and chapped. At least they do to me.
What I've really been doing, though, (not living on the streets) is hardly getting any sleep because of him, not getting any "me" time because of him, and not being able to socialize normally with Derek. Because of him. I am such a sucker.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Derek saved me from imminent death, and I am dragging him into a pit of despair, without him having a single thought about it.
When he realizes, though, and he falls, he's going to have trouble getting out.
So, yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a problem.
YOU ARE READING
Hidden // Spencer Reid
Fanfiction"Well, it's Alice now," I correct him, and his brow furrows. "No, it's not." I roll my eyes. "Yes, Spencer. It's Alice. I didn't change my name for people to go poking around in my past." "But what's your real name, the one your mother and fath...
