Stay With Me || H.S

9

I couldn't keep from worrying all night.. I wasn't expecting a reply from Lana. Actually I didn't expect much of what went down over the phone. I had planned to not sound so concerned and caring.. well maybe a bit charming just to get her to come out but I didn't even get to that. She sounded like herself but not really.. I dunno, there was something off about the way she was talking to me. It's probably just the fact that her mom wasn't feeling well, I assume because she didn't give me a reason as to what happened with her mom. Lana is just so closed off, she doesn't let anyone in.. I want to be the one to break her walls down and see inside of her, it's just something I have been determined to do since I saw her. She captured my attention without even trying....

I was supposed to be upset with her about Jason, I wasn't supposed to give in so quickly... But I guess I can't be upset considering what I did last night.. even though Lana isn't my girlfriend and probably never will be, I still feel guilty.. It's not like your going to tell her. I don't plan on it but lying isn't something that comes easy to me I'm more of the type to avoid. I might know something but if asked I veer the conversation elsewhere.

Everything that happened just before Jason was perfect.. I actually made her feel something well she denied it all but it sure looked like she was feeling a lot more than lust for me. I'm not saying she has a flashing neon sign on her head saying 'i'm in love with you!' but I know there was something there. I know by the way our lips molded together in perfect sync, the way our tongues tangled together causing her to let out a small moan. I need to see her again I hope she keeps her promise and shows up to work later..

I try to push all thoughts of Lana to the back of my mind, I have more than enough with her and this whole situation with my mother and sister.. I get out of bed and head into the kitchen to see what I'll have for breakfast. After scanning the contents of my fridge I end up settling for a banana, I could cook something but i'm sort of lazy and my appetite also isn't that big. I look at my watch and mentally prepare myself for my mum's arrival and I know Gemma will be joining her. I don't want to talk to Gemma after the way she “protected” me, I'm sure my mum knows somethings up, Gemma probably put up a bunch of excuses not to come but my mum most likely made her.. My mum wants us to get on so much as a family she'll do anything. Especially when it comes to James.. that knob I might have been willing to allow him into my family once but not anymore. Not since I found out what he did and probably is still doing although he assured me once it was over.. The image when ever the thought of him enters my mind brings my blood to boil, he was kissing, groping, practically dry humping my mothers maid of honor.. her best friend.. The day of their wedding.

~

“Harry darling, do you know where James has run off to? I've been looking everywhere for him to give him a little mother to son advice” James' elderly mother asks as I fix my tie in the hall mirror. “Um no I haven't but I could go find him if you like” I smile down at her, her blue eyes hold so much happiness and are slightly glossed. “Oh please and thank you” she holds her handkerchief in both hands before going and fixing my tie herself. I thought It looked fine but I could never get these things to look right no matter how much I tried.

“it's no problem. I'll tell him to come find you”

“Thank you darling, i'll be out there” her eyes crinkled at the sides as she gave me a sincere smile. I bet he's with the groomsmen, that's the obvious place to look but maybe his mum didn't want to intrude. I walked off down the hall and made a left, the door at the end was half opened and from where I was making my way over I could hear all the groomsmen having a laugh and the clinking of glasses. I approached taking a peek through the slightly opened door, I didn't need to be dragged into having a drink with the groomsmen. James was nowhere to be seen amongst all of them, and I made my way back running into my sister. “Harry have you seen Gwen?” She looked flustered and I couldn't hide my smirk. “No I haven't I'm looking for James actually” I answered truthfully. “Ugh where is she” she looked up and down the hall and finally walked away back into the room where my mother was getting ready. I never really thought she'd be getting remarried, but as long as she's happy. I head off down the other end of the hall, I didn't expect to find him or anyone here, for some reason no one put these perfectly empty rooms to good use.. But maybe he was hiding out here collecting his thoughts. I imagine marriage is a bit nerve racking, especially for men.