The Mnemophobic

Chapter 28

Everybody is just a stranger, but that's the danger in going my own way - John Mayer

I thought I knew who he was, what he liked, what he didn't and how he was a person, but within a millionth of a second, I knew not if the person who stood before, I knew not of this stranger.

"What are you doing here?" He walked in to the room pacing himself like a lioness who was about to target her prey.

"I saw them.." The words came out of my mouth with a huff of breath. "Who are you?"

"Serenity you know who I am, what's wrong?" He walked closer but then stopped and looked on as if any sudden movement would ruin everything.

"These blueprints were stolen...why do you have them?" My throat would not let me increase the volume to my speech and I wanted answers, I wanted them no matter the risk. He started towards me again putting his hands up in a form of surrender. "Put it down and I'll tell you everything, I promise."

Put it down? What did he mean by that? I figured it was just another way of saying "Let go of the topic." No way I was going to.

"Stop right there!" I threatened with just myself standing in front of him yet despite that he obeyed. A person as well built as him would have no problems in tackling me, than why did he hold back?

"Serenity listen to me, those are not the original, they're the photocopies." He held one up, "You see? The attestation is not original. The original is attested by Ryan I swear you can call him right now."

"What?" I slowly said, was I wrong? He continued cautiously, "Now please put down the cutter and let me dress that wound." He sounded desperate but I did not realize what he was talking about till I saw an open cutter in my hand that dug deep in to my skin. My hand was dripping with blood, I never realized when I clenched it nor when I picked it up from the table. He used my absentmindedness to his advantage and swipe it from my possession. I looked at my hands in shock, how paranoid had I become?

He tried to take my hand but I shoved him back. "What were you trying to hide? What got you so scared? Huh?" I was up against the wall now, I had no more space to back up. "I was afraid you'd see my pictures.

I rolled my eyes mockingly, pursed my lips and under my breath, I said, "Yeah of you and the blondie."

He walked up to me putting his face directly in my line of sight. "No, pictures with you.." I walked past him and opened all the lights in the room apart from the yellow lamp on near the table that was already on and it was then that I saw it. The wall behind the office table had a bulletinboard where pictures of me, him, my family, and a few others with his family where thumbnailed. "What..."

"I was going to show you but.."

"Don't okay? Don't give me that crap." I retaliated as soon as he made his point. "You don't understand anyways so forget it." He was in no mood to listen to my arguements.

His tone was more insensitive than I had ever heard, did he not know what he did? My blood started to boil. "Yeah I'm not supposed to understand why you kissed her!"

He put his hands to his hips and looked down but stayed quiet. I marched up to him and looked him straight in the eyes. "Yeah that's what I thought." He stopped me as I tried to turn around and gripped both of my biceps with his hands and lifted half an inch from my heels. "No, your supposed to understand that if you can let Chase play with you while I'm there than you will have to watch me do what I do."

I broke away from him, "I never let Chase play around! He is just a friend!"

He huffed, "Every single time I'd be with you Chase would come along and you'd go happily with him, to Village, at home, everywhere."

"He IS a friend."

"You can do that to me but when I do it everything is wr-"

"HE IS A FRIEN-"

"YOU LIKE HIM!"

Out of the blue the words came gushing through my lips. "I LOVE YOU!" I looked at his face trying to put my words where he'd actually understand them. The world froze for a while when I let my heart dominate my mind. I didn't realize what I said until after I did and within a moment I was out in the open, exposed to the bone. Those words had never been directed towards anyone, someone as damned as myself was used to emotinal fluctuations but not love, never love. I couldn't leave it at that, there had to be something else I could say, something to make the dramatics go away. "You didn't ask me to the gala, you asked her, you'd always leave when Chase was around, what was I supposed to do.." I was right, if he was insecure because of Chase why hadn't he asked me before?

"Maybe I didn't want to share a girl with another guy, I'd go get one with more dignity." I stood there absolutely silent trying to comprehend what he just said to me. It was like a thousand knives hit me at once straight to the heart. My throat starting developing a pain right below my jaw because I held back my tears. He realized what he said and reached for me but I just..I couldn't anymore. I couldn't bare the heartache of not being with him and I couldn't bare the heart ache of what he just said, I could bare any physical pain but not this. I'd rather go crazy than have him stalk my thoughts anymore.

I walked out to see Dawn sitting down in the hallway. He heard us, he definitely did, but he wouldn't have to worry anymore. He would never have to. "Lets go." He didn't look back once to see Xavier, neither did I. His tiny fingers entangled in my hand, at least if I fell giving in to the growing weakness in my legs he wouldn't let go, his care was unconditional and forever with me. It was over before it started, never again was I going to let my heart make the decisions my mind was more careful in making. Love was an illusion of a hopeless heart, and that wasn't pessimism, it was the naked truth.