Teenage Helpline

5 : 1 5 a m

LEGEND:
Leigh - italics
Colton - bold

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"Hello, this is Teenage Helpline. Please feel free to confess anything you want. We will always st..."

"I'm so sorry, but please just speak to me, I'm very unwell right now and I really need someone to convince me not to do this."

"Woah, steady the Buffs! Whatever you are holding, wherever you are at, just take a deep breath and put that thing down. Or step backwards. Okay?"

"No. Not okay. Tell me a joke."

"The idea of letting a joke decide your life?"

"... Hmm."

"So... uh... um, are you safe now?"

"About as safe as a super sad dude alone in a house?"

"Okay, probably not good. Uh... what can I do for you then?"

"Let's just talk."

"Sure."

"..."

"..."

"You start."

"Oh, uh, okay. Well, how old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"Cool. Me too. Birthday?"

"September 21."

"Mine's Christmas."

"... Cool."

"Uh, yeah. But seriously though, what can I do to cheer you up? You are starting to make me feel depressed too."

"Sorry."

"Don't say that."

"Sorry."

"Di immortales, Colton."

"Please don't use PJO reference against me."

"What? WHAT? [louder] You?"

"Don't sound so surprised."

"Jeez, hahah. It's just that I have been trying to persuade my brother to read the stuff for over a year now, and he hasn't budged."

"Oh. He's missing out on life then."

"Huh [short laugh]. You will too, if you, you know, commit suicide or stuff..."

"Uh, well, yeah. I just realised."

"So...?"

"Hopefully no suicide cases tonight."

"I don't want a 'hopefully', I want a 'definitely'. And it's today. 5:18am you know."

"Oh, yeah [soft laugh]."

"There you go! That, my friend, is called 'laughing'. Does it feel good?"

"Leigh, I'm not Hades."

"Or are you?"

"No, we are not going d..."

"Hades."

"Fuck."

"Persephone."

"Pretty sure that never happened."

"Well, he incested on it."

"Dam it Leigh."

"Hahahaha [long laugh]."

"Now I'll have to come up with a nickname for you."

"Yeah, good luck with that. I never slip."

"Wait and see."

"Huh [chuckle]. Okay, you know what, it's nearly the end of my shift, and it's 5:21... 22 now, so you should really get some sleep."

"I can't. Why did you think I called at five?"

"I don't know, maybe because you are high and suddenly decides to annoy this poor fragile girl?"

"Shut up. I don't get high in just one night."

"Oh. 'Kayyyyy thennn."

"Okay, that's not what I meant, and you know it. Now... any tips on how to fall asleep easily apart from counting sheep?"

"Well, I count to fall asleep all the time. But, try playing a soft song on repeat. It helps. I tried."

"Sure. Song recommendation?"

"Well... uh, wait... okay, Roses acoustic? By Rossy or something."

"Thanks. Night, Leigh. And you do realise you just referred to me as a greek god, right?"

[Click.]

"Oh, you little piece of..."