Teenage Helpline

1 0 : 1 4 p m

LEGEND:
Leigh - italics
Colton - bold

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"Hello, this is..."

"It's me. Colton."

"Oh. Back for some more gossip?"

"Fleur, seriously."

"What? I'm always serious."

"I'll bet."

"Leigh's here you know. But her shift's..."

"At 10:30. I know."

"The sweet joy of stalking. But okay. I reckon you don't wanna talk to her then."

"No! Well [sighs], I do, and I don't. It's just... [sighs again]."

"What's putting you off?"

"I don't know. It's this thing that I said to her earlier..."

"I thought you don't know."

"Do you want to hear it or should I just hang up?"

"Fine. Shoot."

"So, the other day I called her, and I was very traumatized and tired and suicidal and whatnot, because my girlfriend just cheated on me with another dude in my school, and a few other things. So she asked me 'what's wrong' gently like a helpline should, and instead I just barked into her ear about how hurt I am with the stuff that happened, how clueless everyone else are, and you know, basically being a rude jackass. Then she cut me off and told me I should go to sleep, so I did but I thought she was mad at me, because while you sleep you can't talk, and I probably call at least 3 times a night."

"So you think she wanted to avoid you."

"Yes. Anyways, I asked her not to hang up until I've fallen asleep, and I was gonna wait and then say sorry after a long period of silence, but I was so tired or something, I don't know, that I fell asleep instantly. Then at about three a.m. I think, I phoned back, and I don't know if I was drousy or dreamy, but I got this weird idea like how she... [clears throat] how she might have a crush on me bcuzidoonherto..."

"Sorry?"

"Because I DO ON HER TOO, and... and I just thought she was going to be offended because I spoke with so much regret about my dirty ex-girlfriend, so while saying sorry for having shouted at her, I also mentioned the 'thing' and hoped she'd say she doesn't mind because... well, you know, but instead she just gave me this weird tone of voice and said why should she be offended because this is what helplines do and it's normal. So... I was kinda, uh, disappointed, and... I don't know..."

"It sucks doesn't it?"

"... Yeah, it does. It sucks a lot when you've got your expectations too high, and then someone makes it drop but you can't do shit about it because it's your fault too."

"I'm sorry man. I, uh, kinda don't have any experience on this whole heartbreak thing."

"Whatever. I don't care. At least you are a girl. Just give me some advice on what girls like to hear when boys apologize."

"Seriously, why does every dude think girls have this magical telepathic personality understanding? I'm not Leigh. I don't know what she wants to hear. Me, I'd like a straightforward one. Her, I've got no clue."

"Okay, jeez. Well, maybe I should give you a more general one. What do you think I should do, based on everything I gave you of the situation?"

"This feels like a cheesy pre-prom scene from a too-bad movie. Buttttt okay."

"Well, please proceed to answer."

"Okay, so, uh, do you think you can talk to her yet?"

"What? No! She'll probably bitch-slap me into Tartarus."

"Eh, typical. So, you're saying that you don't want to confess?"

"Yeah, no - I dunno. I'm just scared that... I think... Well, this thing between me and her... it feels good, but at the same time so foggy and fragile. I don't want to risk it."

"You don't want to risk the possible pain."

"... yeah."

"Okay... well then, just... I guess, call her and act normal. She probably doesn't know about this yet. Avoiding her will only cause suspicion."

"I... I don't know."

"By Jingo, you are uncertain about so many things!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. But who says 'by Jingo'?"

"I dunno, people who are writing a draft essay analysing 'An Inspector Calls'?"

"Oh. No wonder. Leigh said 'steady the Buffs' the other night. I was very confused."

"Okay, off-track already. Listen. Do you want this to work?"

"I..."

"Yes or no."

"... Yes."

"Then you gotta be brave. No pain, no gain. Nothing comes easy. But in the end, all is worth it. Call her. Say you are sorry. She will probably bitch slap you into Tartarus, yes, but at least you two care and not choose to let this drift into oblivion. And that's way better."

"I hope you're right."

"Call her or I'll tell her everything. I mean it."

[Click.]

"... Fuck."