The Ghost of Him

3. Nine and Ten

*Gerard's POV*

I sat in the RV for a while and stared at the wall. I shouldn't have let her go. She was going to tell someone and I was going to go to jail and they were going to kill me. They couldn't kill me, I wasn't ready to die, not yet anyways. And when I was ready to die, I wasn't going to let someone else take my life; I wanted to do that myself.

I screamed at myself and put my head in my hands, gripping at my hair and tugging on it harshly. I pounded my fists on my skull, causing pain to pulse through my neck and shoulders. I got headaches easily enough as it was, and this made it ten times worse but I didn't care. I was pissed.

I stood up suddenly, intending on making my way over to that fucking house and getting her and bringing her back here so that I knew she couldn't tell anyone. I reached the door of the RV and stopped myself. Trying to get her from the house meant I would have to get past and probably kill at least two others.

I let my mind scan itself over her face, her big, soft blue eyes and long dark eyelashes and little (almost invisible) freckles on her nose. She was honestly gorgeous, and that sucked for me because she was scared shitless of me and I would most likely never see her again. I didn't want to go to the house because I didn't want to risk hurting her.

My bottled up anger finally popped, and I kicked the side of the little aluminum stove by the door and left a small dent on the area. I moved over to the tiny countertop and shoved everything off of it and onto the grime covered floor, listening to everything clatter as it hit the fake tiles.

I was suddenly regretting everything, which was something I didn't do often. I regretted killing. I regretted running away. I regretted letting her go. And then there was that fucking little warm feeling spreading through my chest at the thought of her. I wanted to scream and run and just end everything, because fuck, I was gaining feelings back. And they were ones that I couldn't just fix. I was stuck with them.

I grunted again out of frustration and shoved open the door of the RV, letting the fresh, cool spring air hit my face. I took a deep breath and wandered out into the woods, crossing my arms over my chest and shuffling my feet through all the dead leaves and twigs that were left over from the fall. I heard people walking around and froze where I was, glancing around the side of the RV and into the wooded area where the sounds were coming from.

I heard a few rounds being shot and jumped a bit before retreating back to my RV and retrieving a small hand gun I had gotten from one of my victims. I never really had an intention of using it, until I was ready to die, but I guess if I ran out if bullets this time I would have to come up with a more creative way to kill myself.

But if these guys in the woods had guns, then I wasn't going to just be able to defend myself with my bare hands. I needed my own weapon, and my aim sucked with knife throwing, so I really had no choice but to use this. I wandered back out of my RV, carefully holding the gun out in front of me.

Two men appeared in my vision as they wandered farther out so that the RV wasn't blocking my view of them. I frowned. They were hunters, who I often heard shooting off rounds in the distance but none of them had come close to the RV since I had claimed it. I crouched down, my body pressed against the side of the trailer as I watched them warily.

"Hey! Drew, come check out this RV!" They stopped walking away from me and walked straight in my direction.

They couldn't go into my RV, and I knew that if I let them go they would just gather more of their friends to come visit and end up using it as a hunting stash or whatever the fuck it is that hunters do.

I quickly aimed my gun and shot him, landing a bullet in the side of his ribcage. The other guy raised his gun and blindly shot in my direction, and I felt a sharp pain go through my shoulder and a cry of pain escaped my lips as I looked at the dark crimson spot forming on my shirt sleeve.