The Ghost of Him

Epilogue (Pt. 4)

*Melanie's POV*

I sat in a huge bean bag, curled up and reading a V.C. Andrews book that I had grabbed off of a shelf at a garage sale. Something about these four girls who all have therapy together. I hadn't bothered to pay attention to the title when I bought it, nor when I had pulled it off of my bookshelf an hour and a half ago -- I just needed something to read other than Harry Potter while Eva was napping and I had free time.

I was way too into the book when my front door opened, startling me. I looked up at Frank and blanched, looking around at the mess that my house was at the moment. "Frank! Oh no, I meant to clean, but then I started this book and I didn't think you were supposed to come over until later, I'm--"

"Melanie," he said quietly, closing the door behind him. His expression told me that he had come so early for something serious. I folded down the corner of my page and closed the book before standing up and making my way over to him.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

He took a deep, shuddering breath and looked up at the ceiling momentarily. Then his hazel eyes met mine again and he shook his head sadly. "Gerard. . ."

I stared at him, hoping that he would say more so that I didn't have to talk. If he was implying what I think he was. . .

"Um, well, they were going to. . . to kill him today, but I guess he grabbed one of the officer's guns. . . Mel -- Gerard shot himself."

My breath caught in my throat and I felt myself shaking uncontrollably, but I couldn't move to sit down. I just stared at the wall, paralyzed from a huge mess of feelings. My vision was becoming blurred with tears and I tried to blink them away but they just fell down my cheeks and were replaced by more.

Frank moved forward and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me into him gently. "I'm sorry, Mel. He -- he's happier now. . . and he died the way he wanted to, he didn't want someone else to kill him."

"This is all my fault," I choked out, breaking down and sobbing into Frank's chest, which smelled like he really needed to shower or wash his jacket but I could care less at the moment. "If I hadn't been so stupid and fallen for someone like him --"

"No, don't. It's not you're fault, Mel." Frank sighed and rested his cheek on the top of my head. He started swaying back and forth and I tried my best to not break down anymore as I focused on the sound of his heartbeat. It was steady and soothing, and it was as if the sound was pouring out of his chest and engulfing me in safety and love.

He started moving me over to the couch and pulled me down with him as he sat. A feeling of self-consciousness came over me, which hadn't happened in a really long time, and I felt like I was being clingy and edged myself off of Frank, curling into the couch cushion instead.

It was silent for several minutes. And then I felt a hand wrap around mine. "You okay?"

I nodded, my mobility returning. I wasn't completely sure that I was okay, but I figured I would be eventually. I sighed and sat up so that I could actually look at him; I had never seen anyone who looked so concerned for me since I was a little kid, and I silently cursed myself for being so nostalgic.

"Melanie?"

I brought my eyes back into focus on his face and blinked a few times before humming in response.

"This isn't going to work, is it?"

I frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

Frank sighed. "You still love Gerard. I don't want to mess things up right now by trying to be with you. Maybe we should just wait --"

"You're not messing anything up," I said quickly. "I --" I stopped myself from saying the rest of the sentence. I couldn't afford embarrassing myself right now.

"You what?"

I sighed. I had a choice of possibly ruining things by saying three stupid words, or walking away from the situation. Neither of those options appealed to me. And instead I leaned across the space between us and pressed my mouth against his.

Out of all the things that could have happened to take my mind off of reality, this was my favorite. Kissing Frank was like a first kiss; one of those first kisses that you read about in books, where all the stars align and all of those "sparks" fly and you just get lost in everything and never want to be found. As cheesy as all of that is, it is actually the best feeling anyone could ask for.

I moved my leg over his waist so that I was straddling him and rested my hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat which was abnormally fast. His hands found my waist and I tried to push away memories of Gerard and I, telling myself that he was gone and I needed to forget about him for the time being.

Frank lightly pressed his tongue against my lips and I opened my mouth to let it in. I tried to keep my heart from beating out of my chest as Frank's hand found its way to the hem of my shirt, which was slowly being pushed up. . .

And then a high pitched, faint cry filled the air and I moved off of Frank like he had just been lit on fire. I sat on the edge of the couch for a minute, listening. It was quiet for a second, and then the noise repeated itself. I sighed as I realized it was Eva, who had apparently just woken up from her nap.

I held up a finger to Frank, telling him to wait a minute, and then got up and made my way down a short hallway and opened the first door. I was met by a dim nightlight which lit up the small nursery enough to see the changing table, a crib, and a tiny form moving around inside the crib. Trying to hold back another wave of tears, I took a deep breath and walked over to the bed.

Eva stopped whimpering as soon as she noticed my face, and then held up her arms a little bit for me to pick her up. I smiled and did as she whished, positioning her on my hip and then pacing around the room with her.

"Heyy," I cooed, wiping tears off of her cheeks. "What's wrong?"

Eva sniffled and reached up and held onto my necklace, which I bought a little while ago. It had two golden charms on it, both of them letters. One of them was an E, for Evangeline, and the other was a G. I think it's fairly obvious what that one stands for.

I smiled again and removed her hand, holding up the E for her to see. "This is an E. For your name: Evangeline."

Eva stared at the letter for a moment and then grabbed for the other. I held up the G and took a breath. "That is a G. For your daddy, Gerard. But he's. . . he's in heaven now," I said softly, even though I didn't exactly believe in a heaven and hell. But with a seven month old, things are a bit different. "And a lot of people are going to tell you that he was a bad man. But he wasn't; I promise you that. I'll tell you everything when you grow up. I just hope that one day you don't hate me for what I did. . ."

"She won't hate you."

I whipped my head around and locked eyes with Frank, who was leaning against the door frame. He pushed himself upright and then sauntered over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder and made a face at Eva, who squealed happily and dropped my necklace so that she could wave her arms around.

"You're too great of a mom for her to ever hate you."

I almost scoffed but held myself back. I didn't believe that, but I also didn't want to argue with Frank. So I just turned my head and gave him a light kiss on his cheek and said what I refrained from saying ten minutes ago.

"I love you.

He smiled and I felt his arms tighten around my abdomen. "I love you too."

With Frank holding me and me holding Eva, I realized how mice of a family we could make. And how much I wanted us to be a family. And I had never been so excited for a new beginning.