The Ghost of Him

17. Gerard

*Gerard's POV*

I slammed my fists on the table in frustration. I was in some sort of holding room before court, handcuffed to a little bar protruding from the table I was sitting at. A meaty, agitated looking cop sat across from me, his focus on a book full of crossword puzzles. From the looks of it, he didn't want to be here. But I guess they had to have someone watch over the murderer now, didn't they?

Upon my banging, the officer glanced up at me and I took the chance to speak. "What happened to the girl?"

He threw his crosswords onto the table and stood up suddenly, coming over to me and sticking his face inches from mine, a look of pure disgust on his face. "Like hell I'm going to give you any information on her. She's been through enough with you already, we're not putting her at risk anymore by lending you out information."

I kicked at the legs of my chair and slammed my fists down again. There was no way I was just going to let this go; I needed to know if Melanie was alright. "God damn it -- fucking tell me!!"

The cop chuckled and backed away from me. He glanced down at his Rolex and then grabbed his little booklet and pen. "My times up. Next time I see you, you'll be behind bars," he said as he turned and waddled out of the little room.

I kicked at the chair again and screamed into the empty room.

I could care less about going to jail anymore. Of course, there was still the initial fear of it since I had been terrified of this situation for four years, but I deserved this. It was better for everyone if I was put away and never came out. The only thing that I was still adamant about was not wanting to die in the hands of someone else; that should be my doing and my decision.

After I had left Melanie, I had walked straight into town and directed myself to the nearest police station. Everyone in the small building had seemed completely terrified of me, like at any moment I was going to pull out a gun and shoot up the place. Instead, I had held my hands up in surrender and totally complied when I was roughly turned around and handcuffed by an intimidating officer who was twice my size.

As he shoved me into the small holding room I was in now, I told him where Melanie was and then sat in questioning for another hour as another officer replaced the one that had gone to search for Mel.

Right now, all I wanted was to make sure Melanie was okay. No one was telling me anything, and I knew I shouldn't ask because it defeated the whole purpose of scary-dangerous-killer/kidnapper Gerard. I couldn't help it though. What if I had given her too much of the sedative? What if she was dead or in a lot if pain because of me??

It physically hurt me to think about that.

I slumped back in my chair and glanced at myself in the wall length mirror, which I knew probably had a whole group of people standing on the other side of it, studying me and taking notes like I was an animal in captivity. But I couldn't see them.

Instead, I stared back at myself, my gaunt face surprising me. My cheeks were sunk in and my eyes were surrounded in dark circles; I looked dead. Granted, I had been chained up in here for a week. I had tried my best not to look in the mirror, because I was a bit frightened of what I would see.

Suddenly the door opened again and I gazed lazily at a tall, lanky officer who threw me a disgusted glance and then propped himself against the wall farthest from me.

I crossed my arms as best as I could -- with one hand shackled to the table my reach was very limited -- and settled down into my chair to try and rest. Court was in a couple days. This was going to be a long two days.

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A/N

Sorry this chapter is so short I went camping for a week and I had no signal so this is just a quick update on Gerard. I promise I'll upload again soon.

Xoxo