14 Days [Ciel Phantomhive x Reader]

Day 9

"How are you feeling?" Ciel asks. He looks almost as sick as you, his eyes are tired and glazed over and any normal person may have believed he was the sick one.

Terrible.

"Better, actually." You lies easily, watching as a certain brightness flickers in his eyes. Unlike old time, Ciel did not see past you lie, instead he took comfort in it. With gentle hands he pulled your slim body against his own, his lips pressing against every square inch of your flesh.

"You're ice cold," he breathes.

"Warm me up."

Gladly the Earl embraces you, pushes you against the pillows and holds you so close, it's almost suffocating. All day Ciel has hung off of you and as much as you enjoy his attention and sweet whispers, it's beginning to make it hard for you to breathe. Despite your wheezing and quick gasps for air Ciel doesn't seem to get the hint, instead he tightens his grip around you and clenches his teeth- pretending not to hear.

"Do you have paper work?" You ask, watching as he nuzzles into your neck.

"Yes. But I will leave it for today." 

You resist a sigh and instead press the back of your head back further into the pillow beneath you. Your head is burning but your skin is cold, your mind swirls and your heart hammers while your lungs work to hard to keep you breathing.

"Ciel, I need some space." You finally whisper, the boy shakes his head and you feel his jaw tighten.

"I don't want to let you go..."

You run a skeleton like hand through your hair.

"Please..."

Suddently he's up in such an abrupt fashion it makes you flinch. He's standing and his fingers are clenched into fists so tight that cause his knuckles to become bone white. His teeth are clenched and his eyes are glassy with tears, he looks so fragile but you hadn't the strength to move and console him.

"Fine. If you want me to leave, I'll leave!" His voice is raised and you can barely register the situation, is he mad at you?

With trembling arms, you lift yourself into sitting position, Ciel barely notices how you breathing picks up and your cheeks flush with pain.

"Don't be like that." You scold.

"I can be whatever the hell I want (Y/N)!" He hissed, eyes burning with anxiety and anger.

You send him a glare, warning him to drop it but he doesn't.

"You push me away and all I want to do is be there for you! You don't realise how hard this is for-" Ciel immediately regrets his choice of words but he's gone to far now to take them back now.

Your eyes are wide and your jaw hung in utter disbelief.

"How hard this is... for you?" You furrow your brows. "How hard this is for you?!" You're furious now and your entire body quakes with rage. "Do you have any idea what I have to go through each day?! I can barely lift myself out of the bed let alone let you cry on my shoulder! The world doesn't revolve around you Ciel! There are others out there, other people who aren't you! You think your life sucks!  You have everything!" You pull yourself from the mattress and stand with shaky legs.

"You have a home, people who love you, people you will get on their hands and knees to hoist you up and over all the walls you build up! And me? I'm gonna lose it all!" 

"No,(Y/N). I'm going to lose it all-"

"You're not the one who's gonna die Ciel!"

He freezes then, stares at you like you have uncovered a truth too ugly for him to bare. He swallows thickly and covers his mouth with his hand, breathing in stiffly before quickly leaving the room.

Falling back onto the bed you press your face into the palm of your hands and try to block out the screaming of your lungs and heart. Rolling onto your side, you sob into the pillow, Ciel's sent overwhelming your senses.

As the tears fell yet another empty piece developed in your soul and it was far bigger than any of the others.