Letting Go

Chapter Three

2015.10.16 -Monday

2 Weeks before the situation

"Taekwoon hyung, do you think something is wrong with Hakyeon hyung?" Hongbin asked while looking at Hakyeon who was currently at the front seat of the van with earphones on.

Taekwoon just shook his head for he too does not know what is wrong with Hakyeon. Hakyeon has been quiet ever since he got back from his schedule in the middle of the night. He did not even bid everyone a good morning or even nagged the members for being late but instead he just stayed quiet. But when a camera was in front of him, he would talk, smile and laugh like nothing was wrong but here he was, inside the van all quiet and just staring out of the window as the scenery past by.

With Hakyeon's behavior, he was making the members worry.

Hakyeon is tired, tired of doing his busy schedule and especially when they are about to have a comeback in a couple of weeks. The busy schedule of filming, radio, dance practice and being an MC came down on Hakyeon. He may not show it through emotions but his behavior showed it all. His happiness and rests only takes place in between those busy schedule, meaning only him alone in a room or in the van to release all frustrations that he's been holding. His trying his best to stay upright for his members so netizens will not look at his members unpleasantly just because of his lack of leadership.

"Hakyeon hyung?" Hyuk called Hakyeon's name from the backseat, however, Hakyeon did not hear due to him having the earphones.

Jaehwan reached to the front and tapped Hakyeon's left shoulder lightly to get his hyung's attention. With a jolt from Jaehwan's tapped, he removed his earphones and lowly asked, "What is it Jaehwan-ah?"

From his voice, the members could tell how tired he was.

"Hyuk asked for you hyung." Jaehwan said.

Hakyeon nodded as thanks towards Jaehwan and looked at the rear-view mirror as a signal for Hyuk to speak. But seeing his hyung tired and somehow lifeless for the day, Hyuk shook his head.

"It's okay hyung, Hongbin hyung answered my question."

"But I didn't hear Hongbin say anything." Hakyeon looked at Hyuk confusingly.

"He whispered it to me hyung."

"Hmm...alright. But if you want to say it, just say it without hesitation, okay Hyukkie?"

"Okay, hyung."

Hakyeon knew that Hyuk had something to say to him but he didn't nagged on about it. He knew if Hyuk really wanted to say it, he won't say it without any hesitation. Once it was quiet again with a little whisper here and there from the dongsae line, he returned to listening to his music to have somewhat of peace in his bustling brain.

Once they arrived at the parking garage of where their dorm was, Hakyeon was fast asleep.

"Hakyeon-ah, wake up." The manager shook Hakyeon gently.

Hakyeon looked out of his window and saw that they already arrived and thanked his manager for waking him up. He looked back and saw the rest of the members also fast asleep.

"Go on up ahead, I'll wake up the members myself." the manager said.

Hakyeon nodded in thanks and quietly left the van. He know he should be waking them up but he's not in the best of mood to tolerate with his members whines when it comes to waking them up. Leaning against the corner of the elevator, he let out a heavy, exhausted sigh and let himself break down from all the frustrations he's been holding. Thankful that his manager let him go first so that the members would not see him this weak.

"Just for today Hakyeon. Just for today."

Sliding down the cornered wall, he pulled his hair out of frustration, doubting himself of why he had became a singer in the very beginning. The true reason of being a singer and not being of the money he earns. His doubt is slowly becoming his fear, asking himself, can he truly continue becoming what he is right now, an idol?

As he neared the floor of where his dorm is located, he slowly raised up with a weak knee, wiping his tears away and hoping that he does not have a red eye or in fact a puffy eye at that; afraid that if his members saw him, they'll truly worry about him.

As the elevator dinged, signifying he had arrived, he hurriedly went to where the dorm was located wanting to quickly changed into his night-gown and hide under the blanket; pretending to be asleep before Taekwoon and Hyuk arrived in the room. With the crying he had done in the elevator, he feels somewhat relief but not truly. Still asking himself, can he continue.

Walking by the hallway, his shadow was seen and thoughts filled his mind.

"What or who are you really, Hakyeon?"