Letters From Harley

VII.

seven: 7:43 PM

Dear Christopher,

my little brother
my love
my purpose
my everything

i can see
see that you're hurt
hurt inside

i see the pain
pain in your eyes
eyes filled with tears

i know you
you don't understand
understand everything that's happening

i see you're scared
scared of everything
everything and everyone

i see the way you flinch
flinch because of the hitting
hitting caused by your dad

i see the way you yell
yell at our mom
mom is scared

i see the way you curse
curse at our sister
sister is scared

i see the way you scream
scream at me
me doesn't hurt

i see that you need help
help from all the pain
pain from the past

i want you to know
know that
that it's not your fault

i want you to know
know that
that it's your dad's fault

i get the pain
pain is tearing you apart
apart into little pieces

i know they don't
don't see what's
what's happening to you

i see you
you are tearing
tearing yourself apart

            you should have never felt the way it feels to have someone hit you. you shouldn't have to be scared of your dad. you shouldn't have to be scared. you should have to be so angry all the time. you shouldn't have to hold in your tears. you shouldn't have to feel all this pain.
 
            but it's my fault and i'n sorry because i should have protected you better. i shouldn't have ever let your dad hit you like that, i shouldn't have let anything bad ever happen to you. it's my fault, so don't worry. i'm supposed to protect you from all of the harm, and i didn't. i'm sorry.

i love you
you are special
special indeed

i'm so sorry.

harley.
April 5, 2016