The People

Just him

(Listened to favorite record by fall out boy and I wanna fly by Trevor Moran while writing this)

We were so close. I loved you so much. We were such good friends. You even fell in love with me. God I can't lie and say I don't miss you. I wouldn't want anyone to know how I feel about you. I don't feel as in feelings for you, more like what I wanted to say and what I can't say. You were so consistent in my life. I think I miss that the most. I say how much I hate you but deep down I know what I really feel. I know I miss you as a person. Even if you were a loathing, self centered asshole. I always cared and you never did. I don't know what went wrong. It might have been everyone around us that ruined us, but it's your fault. I hope you feel it one day. The feeling you gave me when you told me that I was correct when I said you didn't care. You broke me more then once. It's always been just him. The one who ruined things. The one who was my best friend. The one who craved attention. The one who I miss but can't stand. Man I can't fucking stand you. You are such a piece of shit. A piece of shit that I will always be there for even though you were never there for me. You are so dumb. I don't wanna sound like 99% of woman when break ups happen and say that you're dumb for leaving me because you didn't leave me. I left you, but you didn't stop me. And that's your fault. I bet you don't even regret it. How can you sit there and honestly tell me that you don't care about me while I gave you every chance to just help yourself in our situation. I hate how people ask about you like we are relevant to each other. Not because I hate you, but because I hate thinking about you. Just you. Just him. I hope you find this one day and read it. You will probably roll your eyes and not even care. It's okay though, I told everyone it was okay because you weren't changeable but honestly I was convincing myself. I was finally done with you. It was relieving but one of the worst things that I had to ever realize. I have so much to say about him. And how he did so many things to cause problems and I still forgave him. Just him.

Wow you piss me off. How could you? Like how could you even do some of the things you've done. And the disrespect I got when you told someone else that they only mattered when you were my best friend. How fucking could he do that? Only a person like him would do this type of shit. Just him.

-p