Chapter 34: Pillow talks.

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Blayze

After a momentary glare at my reflection in the mirror, I reached out to the cabinet close by, opened and took out small container. For a second, I stared at the familiar item then without wasting a second more, I pulled the lid open, let a pill roll onto my hand.

I put it into my mouth and gulped down a glass of water alongside it. Done, I stole one last glance at my reflection. This should be enough and with that thought, I left the bathroom.

Caden

I turned and turned and turned once more. Finally, now staring at the ceiling, I let out a loud sigh. I was uncomfortable, restless, and not in the least bit sleepy. I turned my head to his side, he had his back faced to me.

Is he asleep already?

I wondered as I recalled the fact that he just got into bed not too long ago.

"Blayze." I called nearly in a whisper, an attempt to know if he was still awake.

"Blayze." I called once more but there was no reply. Slightly, I sat up, shifting a bit to his side, I leaned closer without having to touch him, just enough to get a good look at his eyes in order to know if he was really asleep.

As suspected, they were shut. Unknowingly, I let out a light sigh before my eyes was directed to the lamp on his bedside table. I'd turned off the one on my side but he didn't do the same with his. Perhaps, I'd found it hard to sleep because of the light so I reached out my hand towards it.

Suddenly, I felt a grip on my wrist and in a startle, I looked his side. His eyes were open, looking up to me.

"What are you trying to do?" His question followed. My silence lasted for a little while, not because my lips were glued shut but because I'd for some reason never expected this very scene which was kind of stupid of me.

Regardless, I wriggled my hand out of his hold. "Isn't it obvious? I'm trying to switch the lamp off."

I reached out for it again but he was quick to take hold of my hand once more.

"Don't." He ordered at once. I met his eyes once again. His stare was softer and strangely his word sounded less of an order to me and more like a plea.

Mentally, I shook my head. That can't be right.

"I don't sleep with lights off so you'll have to get used to them." He narrated as he let go of my hand.

"Also, you've broken your third rule." He added while his eyes and head gestured towards my left hand leaning on his side.

On realisation of what he said, I was quick to withdraw back to my side, flustered that this ever happened.

As I watched him return to his earlier position of having his back at me, I felt a bit insulted and annoyed at the same time. Is this what I'll have to put up with while being here?

I turned, laying on my side, my eyes stared directly at the back of his head and for a while, I remained that way without a thought running through my mind.

"How long are we to stay married?" The question rolled out of my lips, directed at him.

Thinking back, it's funny I never brought up this question. I never gave it the needed thought. In all sincerity, I couldn't envision my future living with him the way we're presently doing. I can't forever pretend to the world that we're one perfect family.

I waited but there came no reply on his part. I know he wasn't asleep. He couldn't have fallen asleep so quickly.

"Blayze." I called and yet again, no reply. Carefully, I leaned a bit closer and stole a look at his face. His eyes were shut and it would seem he had fallen asleep. Returning to my earlier position, I felt disappointed. I would have loved to hear a reply from him. I would have loved to know how long I'll have to put up with a lot.

Another tiresome sigh left my lips as I turned, laying on my back, my eyes, staring at the ceiling. Crazily, I was reminded of earlier events, especially, his embrace. In that moment, I felt my heart skip for a beat and I embarrassingly stole a glance at him as if guilty I thought of that or strangely felt the way I did.

"Earlier... you did something I'd never imagined you could do. You hugged me. It was unusual of you and yet, I couldn't push you away. No... I didn't want to push you away."

For a moment, I took a dramatic pause, glancing his side before turning, laying on my side once more and having my eyes on him.

"Sometimes, I overlook the fact that you're human as well so it's likely you have problems of your own and just needed a hug at that moment...

I went silent right after that statement. Clearly reminiscing on my own words. Yes, it won't hurt to actually be friends. Having said that, I felt a bit lighter, though, I wondered what his reply might be if he heard all I'd said.

Well, I might never find out. For now, I need to sleep and with that thought, I shut my eyes, trying my best to find solace and fall asleep.

* * *

Stepping out of the building, and taking notice of the cool afternoon, I drew in a deep breath. A strange and yet radical idea came to my mind. I took out my phone from my handbag and sent a text message after a bit of hesitation.

I already know what the worst result of this act could be and yet, I did it anyway. I stood there, waiting for a reply from him.

Blayze

Do you want to have lunch together?

I read the text message from Caden. In that moment, I was reminded of last night.

...though we didn't start this relationship on good terms, I believe it won't be such a bad idea to at least live as friends.

She said something, perhaps, with the belief that I'd fallen asleep already but I'd heard everything. I simply saw it fit as not to respond. Could this be it? An attempt on her part at being friends?

Without dwelling longer on this thought, I texted her my reply and looked up, meeting the eyes of the woman in front of me.

I watched as she drank a light gulp of water from her class, gently setting it back on the table before meeting my eyes once more. I looked elsewhere, unable to stable them with hers. The silence between us lasted long and I would rather it doesn't. Being here, seeing her... I didn't think I was ready for confrontation yet but she called and guiltily, I only felt right to be in front of her. In all honestly, I wasn't sure what this conversation could result in.

"Aren't you curious?" She finally asked and I was forced to meet her eyes once more.

"You haven't asked any questions." She queried. Something in her voice, the way she said it, felt like she was disappointed.

"I don't believe I should. The past is the past." I stated coldly. I had to. It was what was best.

For a moment, her eyes grew softer, a familiar feeling entailed within. I didn't want to lose my resolve so I looked away.

Suddenly, a light chuckle followed on her part.

"The past is the past." She repeated, leaning back into her seat.

"Right. I suppose it's only right I let you know of the present." She started and I looked anywhere else but into her eyes.

"Take whatever I'm about to tell you as you would like. I just need to let you know that I'm being sincere... I want you back into my life."

My eyes were back on her.

"let's start over."

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