Chapter 42: New desires and a certain peach lips.

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Caden

I watched as Blayze struggled with wiping off the drawings on his face. At first, it would seem he was calm but by each growing second when it didn't wipe off as quickly as he desired, his frustration got the best of him and he ended up throwing the cotton into the sink, his head bowed.

I felt terrible, majorly because nothing went as I'd imagined it. In reality, it was harder to get a smile from him. It's crazy how I believed I could get that.

"Let me help." I offered as I took steps closer to him away from the door I'd been standing by.

"I'm fine." He lied as he looked up to me before attempting to walk past me. I was quick to take hold of his arm. forcing his attention back to me.

"Fine. I'm sorry. I was childish for a while. Can you at least let me correct my mistake?" I offered once more though a voice in my head was screaming as to why I was succumbing so much, I ignored it. Our eyes met and for a while we stared into each other's without saying a word.

Blayze

I tried my possible best, looking anywhere else but onto her face and eventually meeting her eyes. Each moment that happened, I felt different, weaker. Mentally, I scolded myself. I must have lost my mind in that brief moment in the bathroom when she offered her help and I stared into her eyes then eventually accepted it.

She was careful, gentle with my face like it was some porcelain that could break with any slight mistake. I recalled the moment she lightly soaked the cotton wool with some alcohol-based sanitizer and made an attempt at my face. I recalled noticing her hand tremble for a second. It would seem she was scared but that didn't settle right with me. So far, I've known Caden to be quite fearless and she had never without an argument back down before me. The strangest part, I wished she wouldn't be scared.

Uncontrollably, my eyes shifted back on her. Her eyes were lowered and focused directly on what she was doing. I watched her without making a sound. I didn't feel the need to look away. I felt rather comfortable and at peace.

I took notice of nearly every feature of her face. Starting with her neatly trimmed brows, her lashes that fluttered at interval at the cost of her blinking, her straight and yet not too long nose and then, her lips, a light shade of peach, thin and perfect for her face. They called out to me, in a way that had never happened before. Strange thoughts filled my head. I yearned to draw closer and lightly lock mine with hers.

I gulped down.

I rose my eyes away from her lips and met a pair of hers staring back at me. In that moment, I felt we were on the same path. Filled with strange thoughts and new desires, my body slowly leaned forward, my eyes back on her lips again. My sense of reasoning was nowhere to be found. Closer and closer, our lips came, suddenly, there was a ringing tone.

What am I doing?

I was first to lean and look away. Without a word being said, I walked past her and towards my phone in the room. Outside the bathroom, I let out a light huff of breath. I nearly did the craziest thing. I took hold of the phone and picked the call. My secretary's voice came through.

Caden

I dazed away, back to the moment Blayze and I nearly kissed. I relived every second of it. I recalled how fast my heart had raced and how I yearned to throw my arms around him but in the end, he moved away, probably regretting we ever had a moment together.

An exhausting sigh left my lips. I was confused. I'd somehow felt he had a similar feeling towards me but I might also have been wrong. I was in love with him and my mind would tell me anything to make me believe there could be a future for us together.

"Caden." I looked up and met mum's curious and worrisome eyes.

"You've haven't touched your food. Are you okay?"

I'd forgotten for a while that I was back in my parents' home. It has been a long time since we had a meal together so I came over for lunch.

Drawing in a deep breath, I nodded and displayed a brief and yet simple smile. She smiled back but her eyes never left me. She was quite adamant about figuring out what my problem was.

I took a look around. Dad was yet to show up just like he promised and my little sis was out at a friend's place. It was just mum and I.

A sigh left my lips once more as I returned to my food.

I wonder if he had lunch.

My heart worried for Blayze. I hated feeling this way especially if I'll have to keep it as a secret.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Mum attempted once more. I studied her for a few seconds and eventually nodded as I took her hand in mine.

Back in the shop, I took out a jotter and pen. I need to set things right. I need to remind myself of what I was into so I started by writing 'why to love him' on the left part of the paper and 'why not to love him' on the right part.

One, why to love him... I thought hard and clear but nothing great came to mind and that did well to justify my sense of reasoning. I moved to the next part, one, why not to love him... he blackmailed me into a marriage with him. Two, he's rude and arrogant. Three, I really don't know much about him. Four... I thought some more.

In general, I had more reasons not to love him and nothing on why I should give into my feelings.

Why did I fall for him? What was it about him that made my heart ignore his every other bad quality?

"Why to love him?" In a startle, I got up from my seat backing away as I held the note to my chest away from prying eyes.

Mia stared inquisitively at me as her eyes narrowed. Slowly, a sly smile played on her face.

"Is that a list of some sort?"

"No." I was quick to reply recalling that I haven't told Mia a thing about my marriage. I might be the worst best friend to ever exist. I should have told her but Blayze made me promise to keep our secret just between the both of us.

Her brows furrowed, a clear indication that she wasn't buying my answer.

"Do you like someone else?"

"What? No."

"Then who are you trying to reason about loving? Tell me Caden. Lately, I feel like there's a huge space between us and I can't seem to understand what is going on with you. Aren't we best friends anymore?"

Her eyes wearied with worries that guilt wore on me as a dress. I felt bad. I shouldn't be keeping so much from Mia. She was like a sister to me. A sister is family... and only my family could know of this secret so... I have to tell her.

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