Fate of Existence | Book 1 ✔️

Chapter Twenty-Four

My eyes open as the sun shines in through a nearby window along with a chilling gust of wind. I close my eyes while moving my hair out of my face expecting to see Seth right beside me.  I see no trace of him whatsoever causing my heart to drop to the pits of my stomach.

I push back my hair from in front of my face again and let out a sigh full of disappointment. 

"Some things just never change do they...?" I say aloud to no but myself.  I suppose it doesn't matter. But he could have at least woke me up. 

 As I look at my hands, I notice them clutching the sheets causing me to remember everything from last night. I close my eyes trying to stop the images from replaying in my mind. My head feels light headed and fuzzy when I try to think about it. My cheeks flush and body begins to fill with those same raging hormones that took over just a couple hours ago. 

I roll over onto my back as getting myself to finally rise and get out of bed but I stop as I feel a sharp pain go through me like a knife. I grab my neck as most of the pain begins to pulsate there and I cringe even more into the floor as it worsens.

Slowly, I make an attempt to rise and walk my way to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and quickly get in hoping it will relieve some of the stinging pain. Just as I thought, the cool water lightens the pain as it runs down my body in cascades. I bob my head down and let the water completely drench me.

. . .This has got to be one of the worst mistakes I ever made in my life. . . I literally want to cringe up into a ball as I think about what's going to happen now because of what I had done. The thought I wasn't even trying to acknowledge forges its way to the front of my mind. I know nothing good would come from this aside from personal satisfaction and even that is beginning to make me feel like shit. The only thing keeping me from completely losing my composure is the fact that I was able to control myself and not mark him. . .as far as I can remember.

If something were to happen to him because of me. . .I could never live with myself. My wolf stirs at this thought becoming just as restless as me. But I want him near me, with me, beside me regardless of everything. I turn off the shower and wrap a spare towel around my waist leaving my hair dripping wet.

As I begin to dry off I notice the scratches and scars I had gotten awhile ago has completely disappeared making me become even more emotionally unstable. I look at my arm checking if my tattoo is visible and it kept its form. I don't know what could have triggered my wolf's seal to. . .

I slap my hand on my forehead and rub it hard against my temples. I couldn't have possibly had done that. . . I moan out loud as I start to get dressed. I'm just over-reacting. I'm just over-reacting. I try to take deep breathes but I end up throwing my shirt on the ground. The bed practically calls my name as I feel like all my energy has been stolen from my body. I can't help but think about what I am going to do if I really had done what I think I did.

If I had done that. . .I will have to- no. . . I want to be honest with him and tell everything ranging from Micah to my pack but. . .we already have so much to worry about and for me to tack on more things. . . I lean all the way back on the bed and sigh miserably while dragging my hands down my face. "These are all merely excuses I'm making up. I should of told him. . ." I say as turn over and practically stuff my face in a pillow. When should I tell. . .how should I tell him. . .?

I hear the door open causing me to pop up and turn my head towards the door. " You're up earlier than I expected. " He says with his trademark smile making my stomach become fluttery. ". . ." I turn my head away from him still simmering about him not being there when I woke up. As soon as I feel his leg sink down the bed I instinctively look up allowing him to kiss my forehead with just as much passion as if he were kissing my lips. " Good Morning."

". . ."

He pushes me down as he lays on top of me with one leg going in between mine and other laying on the other side I feel his lips on the back of my neck traveling up to the side of my face until I turn away from him completely not expecting that. He begins kissing the other side of my neck sending tingles down my spine until I can't help but laugh and duck my head deep into the bed. Water droplets from his wet hair begins dropping on my neck, dripping down my back and onto the bed ". . .Good Morning."

". . .Good morning. . ."I say still unable to shake off this tingly feeling.

Almost instantly do I feel him inhale then exhale out loudly while he snuggles up so close to me I can feel his hair brush against mine. " You smell good. . ." I feel his breathe hits my neck as he says this making tingles run all up and down the base of it.

Reluctantly I turn around only to meet with with his piercing greens eyes making me want to just forget the entire of idea of saying anything at all. But I stomach it and continue to turn until my back is laying flat on the bed. He smiles at me as he brushes some of my hair falling in front of my face making my heart speed up as always. The way he looks at me. . . with such a loving expression is enough to make me fall in love with him all over again.

If it were possible I'd want to sink further into to this bed just to get away from his stare. " You really are gorgeous. You know that right. . .?" I blink at this as my eyes go completely wide eyed then slowly narrow away till he isn't in my line of vision anymore.

I push him off of me and instantly turn my eyes away from him again.

He grabs my chin making me look at him but I can hardly even do that. "I love you. "My heart practically clinches. Every time he says it, it makes me unbelievably happy and embarrassed all at the same time. Yet it also gives me some far off sense of responsibility and commitment that I will never be able to reciprocate. "And I plan to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Don't be unreasonable. That couldn't possibly ever happen Seth. You and I both know. . .this was a complete mistake."

". . .And?"

" What do you mean and? "

" I don't care about anything else Lance. . .I only care about you." He brushes his hand against my face making me instantly realize how hot his hands are. I bite down on my lip as his simple touch sent shivers of pleasure up my spine.

" You're hot. . ."

"Thank you. You're pretty hot yourself. "

"As in burning up."

". . .I'm hot blooded by nature."

I brush off his comment but don't bother to pester him about it any further. I really need to get this off my chest before I drive myself insane. ". . .I have some things to tell you."

". . .Please don't say you're pregnant."

I hit him as a laugh escapes my mouth. " Fuck You."

"Ahhh. . .really?"

" Really. How the hell would I even be able to get to pregnant Seth? Have you forgotten I'm a guy? Or maybe you've forgotten we just had sex a couple hours ago."

"Well. . .your wolf surely isn't a guy. She's more than livid that you keep assuming she is."

"W-what? How could you even. . ."

"I'm your mate after all. . .I should know these things." A blush creeps along my face as he climbs over on top of me. "So I had reasonable cause to ask hm?" I put my hand over my face as I drag it down. That's still completely impossible.

The feeling of his forehead on top of mine fills me with so much calmness I completely forget what I had to say and just stare into his eyes until I remember what could be the cause of that burning sensation. I move his hair away from the side of his neck and I instantly feel my heart clinch.

He quickly puts his finger on my lips. " Don't. Don't even. I swear. . .you never think about anything before you say it. . . It was an accident. . .I know that's what you're going to say but Lance I am your mate and you're mine. I don't regret marking you yet. . .you don't feel the same way."

"Because it's not the same. That. . .you just don't understand." My eyes fall to the ground as I mumble out the last part. If it was possible to hate myself even more I would. How could I do this to him?

He takes my hand in his and kisses it softly as he tangles his fingers with mine. You should quit worrying about me and my well-being and worry a little more about yourself."

I glare at him totally frustrated at the fact he is seeming to miss over and over again. " Of course I am going to worry about you Seth! You're a part of me, and I can't possibly worry about myself without worrying about you.

" Why are you so worried about me? I don't give you anything to worry about. "

I sigh madly at this. " You can be stupid and be an utter dimwit. You can act on emotion so easily and you rarely ever think things through! And you're saying you don't give me anything to worry about?" I scoff after I finish saying this.

" . . ."

I brush my thumb against the mark I left on his neck making him shrink back a little. " This'll only make things worse."

" Because you're going to miss me and constantly worry about me because I'm not going to be by your side as what normal mates would do and it's going to drive you insane."

My mouth opens as my hand falls to his chest. I close it along with my eyes and clinch his shirt tightly in my hands as those words rung true to my ears. I couldn't possibly deny it even if I wanted to.

" I'll be fine."

An even more stressed expression appears on my face knowing things can't possibly be made that simple. " Lance. . .I'm not going to hold you to some ridiculous standard or ultimatum. Do whatever is necessary for your pack. . .and I'll do the same."

My eyes narrow then fall till he is, once again, out of vision. " I know you have responsibilities to your pack. . .being the future alpha and. . .I know I'm not making anything easier on you. . .but I still want to be with you."

I stare at his eyes as I begin to notice my eyes slowly straying down towards his lips. I blink as I realize just how long I had been staring at him causing me to bite down on my a lip a little harder than necessary. What I wanted to say had disappeared just as fast as my eyes snaps back up to his. Why do I continue to get embarrassed by such little things, especially after everything. . .

"What?"

". . .Nothing. . ." Something in my gut is telling me that this is wrong. That I should tell him he shouldn't be with me. . .nothing good would come from this. Because I know deep down inside. . .this can never work out. I ignore the painful throbbing coming from my neck and make an attempt to head for the door. He grabs my arm and pulls me back towards him in a very tight hug.

I let myself melt into him, putting my nose into the crook of his neck and smelling that strong, musky aroma that I love so much. I wrap my arms tightly around him instantly being comforted by his body being so close to mine. " It'll be fine. . ." My eyes narrow at this feeling the softness in his voice making my eyes close to watery. It's not going to be fine. . .I know it isn't. But when he says it like that. . .just maybe. . .it just might be.

He pulls a little away from me breaking the embrace making me instantly miss his warmth. " Alright?"

I grab my arm with hand and try not to make eye contact with him. "Lan-"

I lean in a little further and press my lips against his until I am leaning completely over him as water droplets falls from his hair onto my neck. He wraps his arms around me and kisses me making me open my mouth wider and fall just a little deeper into him. "God you taste good." He laughs at this as I kiss his lips lightly then gently bite down on his neck.

I hear the door open and Ashton's scent fills my nose making me put my head right back where it was. I should have known he would be coming in here soon. He tends to always ruin everything.

"Lance" his voice is hard and rigid as he says my name.

". . ."

"Lance." He says it even harder than before making it even more difficult to let go of him. I eventually do and look at him reluctantly.

"I really hope you enjoyed yourselves." He says cynically making me slowly lean anyway from him and glare at him. "You're fu-" Seth slaps his hand over my mouth making my mood simmer.

"No need to pick a fight Ashton. He was just leaving anyway. " He nudges me but I don't budge. As soon as he takes his hand away from my mouth I push him away from me and walk up to him madly.

"You're annoying as hell!"

"The only annoying one here is you. You had me chasing you all around the festival making me look like a complete idiot and here you are with Alpha's grandson. Tell if that doesn't make me look bad."

"I can care less if that makes you look bad."

"Makes you look like a legit whore." My mouth drops at this comment. 

"You care about it now, now don't you?"

In less than a second I see Seth hovering over him saying something so low I couldn't even hear him. He really did not just call me that. I can't believe that shit. That little piece of shit called me a whore and expects- After he is finished Ashton starts to walk immediately out the room practically fuming.

"Seth what did you say to him?"

He grabs my arm and tugs me closer to him while taking me out the room practically dragging me down the stairs and stops towards the door. I can easily tell he is hesitating whatever he is planning on doing making me kind of nervous myself.

"Just ignore everything he said. You know he didn't mean it. . ."

"He called me a whore Seth! A whore. Like what the fuck! Why are you even defending him?"

"You really do have a short temper." He says while flicking me in the forehead smiling at me in the process.

"What did you tell him?" I grab his hand as I ask.

"That you're my mate.

That I'm in love with you.

That I love you. "He kisses the tip of my nose as a slow blush starts to appear on my face.

"Be somewhat nice to him. He really does care for you, you know. He's a really good person."

I rolls my eyes at those streamline of compliments coming from him. I don't care one way or another about him but obviously he does.

"Yea. Ok. Whatever."

As if reading the aura I am emitting he says exactly what I don't want to hear. ". . .Don't be jealous." I grab onto his shirt pulling him closer till we are breathes apart. "What is there to be jealous of? I am so much better than him. And cuter. And sexier. I'm the best you'll ever have." Just as I am about to kiss him he pulls away from me dragging me into the sitting room where all my lectures tend to always take place.

"You're so humble." He says as he sits down making me sit down right beside him. " It's crazy how fast you can go from one mood to the next so quickly. . ."

Wrong move.

I lean over him with a grin tugging at my lips. "There really is no need to be when we both know its true." I see him roll his eyes away from me as he smiles. " But really, you should get from over me. And. . . You need to put a shirt on."

I can see his eyes go down my body and quickly snap back up only causing me to sneak my hands under his shirt. "If I can remember correctly, you pulled me out of the room."

His eyes narrow at me but I can clearly see the lust in his eyes making me more antsy. "On the couch? I'm not a booty call."

"If you would have locked the door then maybe it wouldn't be on the couch." I kiss him feeling my arousal heighten even more with his nails pressing against my skin. I lift up his shirt as my mouth traveled down his neck."We really shouldn't be-"

I lick his neck and I can instantly see him bite down on his lip. "I want you so bad right now. " I say no more than a whisper.

"Lance. "

I close my eyes as I recognize whose voice that belonged to. I get from over Seth and rub the back of my neck awkwardly not trying to make eye contact. If anything this would have never been the way I imagined telling him about. . .us.

"Well now. " He claps his hands together grinning ear to ear. " I hope to have some beautiful grandchildren soon." He says cheerfully as he stares straight at me.

I pinch my nose as my face goes completely red from utter embarrassment as Seth laughs. Nothing about that or this is funny. It's Awkward. Completely Awkward. I really just want to shrivel up in a ditch and die right now.

" I probably interrupted something didn't I? Just at the good part I'm guessing but I'm not too sure."

" You actually did. . .right at the good part."

I slap my hand on my forehead can't believing he is actually responding to this.

"Hmmm. . .you at the bottom. . .that's interesting." I kind of figured. He makes a motion with his hands and I sink into the couch even further. " He'd be here and you'd be right here. I mean I want grandchildren after all."

" Well you see last night-"

"OK Stop. Just stop. For the love of all that is good. Stop."

"If anyone hasn't really noticed I'm a guy. A guy. With a Dick. Not a Vagina. I won't be popping out any children out of my butt if that's what what you're thinking. Sorry to disappoint."

They both look at me with the same matching set of green eyes and laugh continuing on with their conversation.

"He reminds me so much of my late daughter. . . Minus some qualities about him. . .she was pretty fiery herself. Quite opinionated. She had such a mouth on her." He pauses and lets out a soft sigh before continuing. "She would have loved him you know that?"

Seth nods as his head bobs down.

"After your mother's passing, even before then, I constantly worried about you. Being with such a weak-minded pansy like your father, I prayed you wouldn't turn out like him. I'd hope you wouldn't runaway like he did."

Runaway?. . .I look at Seth seeing that rare pensive expression on his face again.

'And you. Your wolf honestly couldn't have made a better choice Lance. But. . .I can't say that it was the best choice. I was also hoping you'd. . .you'd also find someone else."

"I know. But I already made my decision. You should know it really isn't much of a choice." I say back to him softly.

"Choice?" He leans closer to me. "I should be your only option. Me that's it. No one else. "

I look at the old man and then Seth as a scoff comes out of my mouth. "Choice? You still must not understand. . .how much you really mean to me. There was absolutely no other option. None at all. . .no matter how much I wished for it. You were the only option, even when I wasn't yours."

"Oh well would you look at the time. "He begins to get up but stops himself midway. "Seth can you leave into the next room. I have something private to say to your. . .mate." Almost immediately do I begin to actually become nervous.

"Don't say anything that's-"

"Seth. Out."

I see him stare at him with squinted eyes and instantly see him roll them as he walks out the room.

First I would like to say. . .I'm really proud to welcome you into the family Lance. My grandson has his own set of issues but I hope he doesn't cause too much of a problem. . . .I have always taken care of him so he is a bit spoiled and willful. He's use to getting his way because of this so don't give in to him too much. And. . . please take care of him. I don't mean to burden you with an old man's request but he is the only living piece of my late daughter I have left. He's precious to me. . .you understand?"

" Yes. . ."

". . .I love you as a son as well. . .you know that right?"

My eyes narrow.

" This may sound like a contradiction to what I said, but don't put yourself in any danger for the sake of him. I know you will have a strong drive to do it but, I couldn't bear to have to bury the both of you."

" I understand. . ."

"And Lance."

I look back up at him. " You should already know the reality of the situation you're in." I nod my head reluctantly. "Every time I try. . .he always pulls me back in. It really is hard. . .and I tried. . ."

" He has another hour or so left until he has to return to his pack. Work on making me some grandkids with that time. Just not on this couch. My company sits there."

I face palm myself as another blush creeps on my face. "Honestly. " His gruff laughter fills my ears as he gets up and shouts Seth's name. " Seth! You can come back now. . ." Seth comes back in leaning against the wall as he eyes his grandfather up and down. "What we talked about earlier. . ."

" I know." He pats Seth's shoulder lightly. " Be ready to leave. I should be seeing you soon. "

He nods as he leaves and eyes me while my eyes practically bore into his. "I should really kill you right now."

"That was all your fault. I told you stop but you never listen."He says while smirking coming closer and closer with each word he says. "Am I wrong for wanting to introduce you to my grandfather properly? I probably wouldn't have if I knew just how close you were to him. He knew about us after all, you know that?" I feel the heat bouncing from his body onto mine as he leans over me.

"So now that's all out the way. . .how about we finish where we left off?" I feel his breathe hit the inside of my ear as he whispers softly close to it.

"Yea I don't think so. "I look up to meet his gaze instantly regretting my answer. "Really?"

"Really. Now move."

Just as I thought he does the exact opposite and purposely puts his leg right next me and just a second after he puts his other leg on the other side as he wraps his arms around my neck practically straddling me. I just loll my head back acting as if none of this is phasing me in the slightest. But in reality I am completely turned on by this." You can't just lead me on then cut me off like that."

"I can and I will." I see him eye me as a slight smirk appears on his face.

"I only have a little bit of time left and I can't think of any better way of spending it than with you.. . ."

"An-"

"On the bed. . ." I feel his lips traveling down my neck as his hands found their way to my sides. "On the floor. . ." As his tongue sweeps along the base of my neck any form of reluctance disappears from existence. '

"I leave the room for a couple minutes and you're at it again like bunnies. Not on my couch." I hear the old man's voice say clear above my head making the embarrassment from before reappear heightening by three times as much this time around.

"I was just going to kiss him. Geez. Not like he wants to have sex with me thanks to you. "

I push him off of me until he hits the floor while glaring down at him. " I'm leaving."

" Wha? Why?"

" You know why." I get up and walk out the door blushing from my head down. " Fucking idiot. . ." Even though I left out I can hear their conversation as clear as day and I begin to stop in my tracks and listen in on what they're saying.

"Oh, you're in trouble now." I hear the old man say lowly but not low enough for me not to hear. "Thanks to you. "

"Consider it repayment. "

"Old man. . . I really care about him."

" I don't question that. What I question is your ability to totally ignore the burden you put on his shoulders. "'

I make my way back to the door as I hear him sigh out loud and see him push his hair back as his eyes narrow to the ground.

"He is the future Alpha of his pack. He has responsibilities. Do you understand what that means?"

"Yes. . . I know what that means. And yes I know it was selfish of me. You've been telling me all morning. But I love him. I really really love-"

"Then why not just leave well enough alone? Why drag him through this mess. . .? You had your chance Seth and the ending result was me nursing him back to health. He was ok, maybe not in perfect condition, but in a better state than what you left him in.

He huffs out puffs of air madly. " He's my mate."

" To be blunt, he could live without you." I can feel his hurt from all the way from where I'm standing. " Yes he may act like it's the end of the world when you leave his side, or maybe how attached he is to you. . . better yet the protectiveness he has for you. . . but if you would have left well enough alone he would have gotten over you and that love and affection would be shown to someone else eventually."

". . ."

"You're so stubborn just like your mother. So willful. But you know what happened to her. She loved your father just as much as your stating right now. And look what the result of her undying love was."

" But. . ."

" You're my grandson and I want what is best for you. Lance is like a son to me. . . I also want what's best for him. And if I'm wrong for that than so be it."

I close my eyes and walk away after hearing that. I know that we're not suppose to be with one another yet I can not even think of him with someone else. I don't care about his overly philosophical sayings and shit because it doesn't mean anything if he hasn't even an ounce of an idea of what it'll do to me.

He's been trying to get me to get over him since I came back and he should know by now I can't possibly do that. It's impossible for me. My wolf wouldn't choose anyone else but him and I'll end up being alone or dead. . .

It's selfish of me, I know. . .but is it so bad to be selfish just once? I make my way towards the little stream nearby where no one seems to ever be able to find me. . .besides, of course, Ashton. He'll find me sooner or later. I plop down on the grass and end up playing with the shriveled grass.

To think it'll be winter soon. . .I'll be back with my pack and things. . . and things definitely won't be the same. I left on such a bad note with Micah. . .With Matt, Jake, and Ally. . . I don't even know if I can call myself their friend any longer. People change I get it. . .but some people change for the worst. My father's image pops up in my mind making me immediately cringe inside. To go back to that place full of unwant of my presence. . .I sigh as I comb my fingers through my hair.

I feel Ashton's presence near me as he sits down right across from me. " I really. . .I really didn't mean that back there. . ."

" I know." I say sharply back.

" I just get so frustrated with you. Like I can never come to understand the things you do."

I look at him for a couple of seconds and then go back to picking blades of grass from the roots and pulling them out. ". . ."

" Why were you in that room with him of all people, Lance? He will not make your situation any better. You see. . .there is bad blood and history behind him. Despite him being the Alpha's grandson he-"

I close my eyes not wanting to hear anymore. " He's my mate, Ashton."

His eyes widen as a knowing looks appears on his face. " I've known him for a while now. . .and I know he can be a manwhore, unpredictable, and an idiot. He makes mistakes like the rest of us." I throw a blade a grass and continue on. " I know he is a part of another pack full of another species that despises our kind. I know that already. You shouldn't say he is bad just because he isn't the same as us, Ashton. "

" He isn't bad in general, in all actuality, he's a really great person. . . . But. . . he's bad for you."

My eyes squint as I look at him. " Him being your mate may end up skewing your decisions in the future. You may not judge on a matter correctly because-"

" You'd think I'd choose him over my own pack?" I ask bluntly.

" . . .Well yes, naturally."

I grab a handful of grass and squeeze it until I can feel my nails sinking into my skin. " I wouldn't do that."

" If you say that then. . . you wouldn't be concerned with his well-being."

" How the hell can you say that?!"

" Lance, you're being unreasonable. He's from another pack. That hates you. You're going to be killing each others brethren Lance. It could be his brother, his sister, his best friend, don't you realize this? How can things possibly work out in your favor between you and him? "

". . ."

" I'm just trying to be the voice of reason. . ."

" You see. . ." I try to hold in my smile but it comes out regardless. " I had a bit of a crush on him way before I even knew he was my mate. . .I got jealous over the smallest things. . .especially when he smelled like a woman. I mean I thought he was strictly into girls and him smelling like one didn't help in the least."

Ashton scoffs and leans back making my eyes narrow but I continue on.

" We had petty ass arguments because of my rising jealousy and growing affection for him. . .it's funny now that I think about it. It definitely wasn't funny then. I never was attracted to a guy until him and- I start laughing what I'm about to say. " Honestly it drove me insane. I thought I was gay then straight, then gay again and finally I arrived at the conclusion that I was strictly gay for him. . ."

He busts out laughing at this and can't help but laugh too.

" I know it's odd. . .us being mates. I definitely found it to be. We never seem to get along like ever. . .but then again in some strange weird way we do. . . .He's perfect for me." I say in an almost melancholy way.

". . .You know this doesn't answer any of my questions."

" I know. . . The truth of the matter is I don't have any answers to give you. I'm going to have to make some hard decisions. I know that's what you're trying to get me to understand, but when having to choose between your pack and your mate which one would you choose? You make it sound so damn easy like I value one more than the other, but I don't."

". . ."

" There is this constant war going on in my head. . .tearing me apart. . .piece by piece. . .with each decision I make. Yet you make it sound so simple."

" I'm not saying you should-"

" I have responsibilities, even if that pack despised me since birth, I still have to do good by them and aid them in the right direction. But. . .if something were to happen to him, if he were to get injured, don't believe I won't hesitate to kill one of my pack members on spot."

His eyes widen making mine instantly narrow. " I know I sound contradictory. . . and I feel terrible saying it aloud but. . ." My voice begins to break as my eyes start to water even more.

" Lance. . .you know he's always really been into guys." He says while smiling.

My eyes widen and instantly bite down on my lip not trying to let my embarrassment show. " He must have enjoyed playing around with you then. . .but then again he must have been equally as frustrated and annoyed."

" Hell, he had heck of a lot of practice with Damon-" He tries to close his mouth but the name already had slipped out. " Shit."

" Damon? Who the hell is Damon?" I ask angrily.

"Ahahaha. . .no one important just some guy."

I cut my eyes away from him trying to suppress the rising jealousy simmering inside me. " Fine. Whatever. . . I honestly don't care right now. . ."

He leans back and smirks at me. " I've never seen you so upset, it would be awkward to have you cry in front of me. I really don't know how to uhhh comfort people. I just become awkward myself."

". . ."

He begins to pick at the grass as a tense silence falls over us.

". . ."

". . ."

"I may come off as annoying and irritating. I do follow you around and always nag you about doing things around the pack but. . .just know I really care about you Lance. "

I look up at him wide eyed.

"Since the moment you laid your feet on this land. . .I knew you were as complicated and rude as anyone could possibly get. But I also knew. . . you needed a friend. At least someone to be there for you even if you didn't want anyone to. I know you haven't had the best kind of relationships with people, but you can trust me. You can put all your hopes and dreams. . .and problems on my shoulders. I promise I won't let you down. "

" It was stupid of me to ask you for answers to questions I know you had already been thinking about. I just wanted to know what your answers would be, Just looking at you now I can clearly see the decision your going to have to make and honestly I think it's for the-. . .I think your doing good by him."

I rub my neck tenderly as my eyes begin to water all over again. " I want to tell him but. . ."

" He definitely won't agree to it. But you know. . .I think maybe you should wait until the next time you see him. It's a little too soon even I would be mad. . .like really mad."

". . .I know. . ."

He grasps my arm making the pushed back tears come out one at a time from each eye. " I'll look after him. I promise."

" Lance."

" I'm fine." I say as I shove him away from me. I swipe away the tears from my face making more come in their places. I can feel his hands clutch into a fist as it moves away from me. ". . .I'm really sorry about this. . ."

I let a tireless sigh as I move my hair out of my face. I put myself back together but a numbing feeling fills me just as quickly. " You shouldn-"

" I know what I'm doing, Ashton. I will have to hold it in. I have no time to be sad or hurt. Right now. . .my feelings don't matter. I'm going to have to see him before he leaves. . .and I have to look fine. You understand. . .Ashton?"

His eyes fall to the floor. " I understand. . ."

I get up and start to splash my face with water. His eyes bore in to me, but eventually he gets up and leaves. I lay flat on the ground covering my eyes with my watered down hands. It's been chilly, but I haven't felt the cold up till now. But I don't mind. . .it helps me numb myself even more.

". . .Why are you always wet?" His voice fills my ears bringing me out of my short daydream. He moves the hair stuck to my face out the way as he hovers over me. " You're going to get sick watch."

" Ahah, that's kind of impossible."

I feel his fingers travel down my back to my sides causing a tingly sensation to surface. As he presses a little deeper my body instantly try to move away from him. "Ohhh. This should be fun." I instantly began laughing as his fingers trails down my backside making me twist and turn.

"Stop! Stoooop!"

"Kiss me."

"Like hell I-"

I can hardly even breathe as my abs hurt with every intake of breathe from laughing so much. And the sight of his hands making their way back is enough to convince myself to change my answer.

"Okay. Okay. Okay!"

He leans over me as I prop myself on my elbows eyeing him like he just murdered someone. As I try to go for his cheek he kisses me on the lips and pulls away just as slow as he kissed me. "On the cheek? I thought we were way passed that stage in our relationship." He says to me playfully causing me to turn right on my stomach so I wouldn't have to look at him. Just that little kiss made me feel a hundred times better, like nothing was bothering me in the first place.

" I hate being tickled."

" Do you?" He tickles me a little more and I laugh and try to pout at the same time. I end up turning back around.

Soon he starts to take off his shirt and so many thoughts and images start to go through my head. Is he seriously trying to have sex with me. . .outside? Right here? He eyes me for a second and soon breaks out into a small smile. " Here." He throws it over my eyes causing my eyes to widen and a slow blush to appear on my face. I take it from over my eyes. " I don't want you to catch anything. . . plus I love it when you smell like me."

". . ."

" And you say I'm going to make you worry. . . you can have one off as soon as you're back to your usual self." I see that glow in his eyes and I'm instantly warmed up by that alone. I would be fine . . .if he'd just stay with me. Right here. Right by my side. But that's impossible to ask of him. I bite down on my lip as my feelings start to leak out.

" You just want to show off." He says playfully as his hands go down my sides. I roll my eyes while trying to suppress a laugh. " It's completely normal to have your shirt off in the winter Seth. I don't get cold easily."

He ignores me and takes his shirt back and begins putting it over my head. As soon as the shirt goes down my face, I eye him again. I knew he had this kind of side to him, but every time it shows it's completely unexpected. He begins tugging one of my arms into the arm of his shirt and works on the other one. I push him off of me as I catch him staring at me for too long, hoping he didn't read into my emotions too much. I tug down the rest of the shirt down. It's loose, but not as loose as it was before.

I take a good look at his body and see so many hickies on his chest. I purse my lips trying to hide my oncoming smile.

" Oh? You like what you did here hm?" He gets closer to my face. " I like it too." He says teasingly making me eye him a little more. " Why aren't they gone?"

" We can't heal wounds caused by our mates. . . at least not as fast." My eyes narrow at this. Wouldn't that be dangerous. . . what happened if their mate- " Our bodies don't see our mates as threats so it doesn't treat them as such. . .it's weird. . .having my life hanging in the balance of another." He looks at me briefly before smiling again. " But I don't mind."

He leans away from me but I lean into him even more and can instantly sense his heart speeding up. My wolf begins to get antsy making me instantly feel sick to my stomach. " I'm yours. . ." He says so softly as he gets close to my neck and takes a good whiff of me and sighs out in pure satisfaction. " His breathe hits the side of my neck where he bit me sending shivers down my body.

He rests his head on the base of my shoulder surprising me a little. " Don't do anything stupid. . ." My eyes widen then narrow as they begin to glisten. " You're the stupid one here." He scoffs at this as I feel his smile on my neck. " I suppose you're right." He makes an attempt to get up but I tug on his arm. " What?" I divert my eyes away from him not trying to let anything slip out. God, why do I always second guess myself like this?

". . ." After a minute he begins to smile rubbing my hair as he gets up. " Honestly, you are so friggin adorable."

I smack his hand from over my head. " You're so annoying. . ." I bite down on my lip to keep my nerves in check. I'm on the verge of saying things I know I shouldn't say. It will only make the situation worse and make things even harder on him. . . But I really, I really want to ask him to stay. . .if only just for a little while.

" Lance."

". . ." My heart is practically pounding out of my chest. I know what he is going to say and I don't want to hear it. I'm better off not answering him, just letting him go without another word. He sighs at my silence. " You really can be difficult. . . Please take care of yourself. . . " I ball my fists up as I hear those words. Why can't things be as simple as when we first met? Why can't things be easier?

I look away from him with a scowl on my face. I feel his eyes on me but he doesn't say anything more. His presence begins to get further and further away from me making me hesitant to keep to my word. I get up with shaky legs. I try to shake off my wolf's feelings but these days I can't seem to control hi-. . .her as well anymore.

" Seth! "

" Ugghh. . ." Why do I do this to myself? I sprint down the path I seen Seth walk across and soon make out his figure. He turns around just before I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. I make the first one brief allowing me to catch the rest of my breathe. I press my lips against his as he binds his arms around my waist making me crave for more than just this. I feel his hands touching the skin on my waist and I instantly know he wants exactly what I want as well.

I push myself further against him as I begin to deepen the kiss. As soon as I break for air he pushes me slightly away from him. " Seth I. . ." I see his hand covering his lips and his turning a different shade making me instantly blush for no apparent reason. Why can't I say it? I said it twice already. Why can't I say it one more time? " I uh. . ." I can hardly look him in the eye as my voice wavers.

" Seth." My body instantly freezes as I hear her sudden voice come out from the woods. He turns and looks at her and his eyes instantly fall. " Kass I was-"

" You're late! Hours late! God, I always have to make up dumb ass excuses for you that no one but Xavier believes.You shoul. . ." She stops herself in her mid-rant as she finally notices me. I look at her blinking in disbelief that they are actually related.

" Ahaha. " She pushes Seth out the way as she comes closer to me. " We haven't been properly introduced. My name is Kassandra, I'm his sister."

I rub the back of my neck awkwardly. " My name is Lance. . .I'm his mate. . .I guess."

" He is so freaking cute!" She says as she runs up and hugs me unexpectedly. I have no time to react before she moves away from me eyeing me up and down. I look at Seth then back at her. I've never been called cute until I met Seth, now I hear it on a constant basis.

She is so short and petite. I'd think she would be scared of me more than anything. On top of that she has such an. . .interesting scent. Seth pulls her away from me before she can say anything else. " I am sooooo late remember?"

" Wait a minute. Lance."

I look at her as she smiles. " Welcome to the family." My eyes widen slightly then narrow as a small smile creeps on my face. " Thank you. . ." She starts to pull Seth along with her but I grab his arm before she can tug him even further.

"Hmmmm. . ."

I look at him still unable to muster up the words I want to say. " Well I. . " He kisses me lightly taking me by complete surprise. " I love you too. . . I'll see you soon. . .I promise." A blush goes across my face as I comb my hair back with my hand in utter shock that he was able to read my feelings so clearly. He smirks as his nose touches mine. I try to kiss him but Kass takes him by the arm and drags him away from me.

" OK OK. You two. All your lovey-dovey cuteness is making me jealous. Plus we have to go."

Lovey. . .dovey? I tuck in my lips in trying not to laugh out loud. So I've sunken this far huh? She turns around and eyes me and quickly turns her head back around. " You two are so cute together. I want one! Maybe my next . . . ." Their voices trail off in the distance as I begin to walk away.

" I'm really sorry. . .about all of this. . ." I mumble lowly under my breathe.


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