Imperfect Pieces

29. distance

They sat next to each other on the train, still pretending to be strangers.

From the very beginning, she knew it was going to be a long train ride. Traveling together used to be something that they both enjoyed immensely- pointing out things that they passed by, reading their own books and pausing occasionally to share something, sitting in comfortable silence as the train or car rumbled on. Spontaneous road trips were a regular occurrence and there was almost never a lull in their conversations, ever since they met. Now the silence was heavy and deafening, especially since they hadn't exchanged a single word since sitting down yet. Fey felt like running away to a tropical island of some sort at the thought of what was waiting for them at their destination. She could just buy the tickets online and throw some T-shirts in a suitcase and be on her way. Palm trees, golden sand, and miles of blue sea sounded pretty enticing... she could just lie on the beach all day doing nothing. She sighed and settled into her seat in defeat. As great as beaches sounded, she couldn't just run away from her family. The conversation she so desperately wanted to avoid would have to happen eventually.

Looking out of the small square window, she saw tiny flakes of snow fall down in a flurry of shimmering white. Everywhere around the country (and most parts of the world) families were gathering together to celebrate the upcoming holiday. This time of the year always brought up images of cozy warm houses with stockings hanging over the crackling fireplace and a decorated evergreen tree with presents underneath. And sure, a replica of that image was waiting for Fey when she got back home, but for the first time, she wasn't looking forward to it.

She glanced over at him. Ronan had his headphones plugged in and was sitting with his eyes shut. His fingers were lightly drumming against the armrests of the seats, perhaps to the beat of the music he was listening to. They used to share all of their music with each other. She still had playlist after playlist of songs that he recommended: "Let's Start the Countdown", "Instrumentally Yours", "Too Chill to Burn" and others. They spent hours perfecting each one, choosing just the right title and order to arrange the songs in. Most of the artists that she currently followed were introduced to her by him during countless coffee shop dates or talks in the park near her house. Whatever. She could survive without his music suggestions, along with lots of other things that involved him. She didn't need his freshly brewed coffee before she went to work or his heavenly foot rubs. Fey was going to be perfectly fine, thank you very much.

Ronan's fingers wouldn't stay still. It was mostly because of his anxiety and nerves. The minutes were ticking by like seconds and he was afraid of when the clock would stop. Part of him wished that there would be some sort of accident on the train, forcing them to stop or that there would be some sort of freak blizzard that would prevent them from moving forward. Though he and Fey had come up with a plan, he wasn't sure if they could pull it off. Their family members weren't idiots. It made him wonder if this was even a good idea in the first place. Maybe they should just tell them the truth straight up. Give them the facts and hope that they wouldn't get mad. No, it was a bit too late for that. Plus bringing bad news on Christmas Eve seemed like a rather heartless thing to do. The only thing left to do was move onwards. Ronan briefly raised his half open eyes to see what Fey was doing but immediately went back to his original position when he saw her staring at him. The whole situation was pretty ridiculous to him and he didn't know how they had gotten here.

He tried his best to calm down and drown himself in the sounds around him. There was the steady clicking of the wheels meeting the railroads. There was the occasional screech as the train made a curve. It made him think of the last time they took the train together. He didn't really remember where they were headed. New Jersey? Boston? Either way, they never made it to their stop. Halfway through, they decided to just hop off the bus at the next stop it makes. Something to do with "being more adventurous" and "giving new things a try". That was how two teenagers, both clad in jeans and T-shirts, ended up sitting on the side of a road licking vanilla ice cream cones. Ronan's memory was never that good (he was constantly misplacing things) but he always still remembered the important, vivid details in the grand scheme of things. Like that one summer when they basically ditched all homework , packed a backpack, and went on an adventure. He didn't remember the names of all the places they went to or even the date of their embarking, but he remembered Fey's caramel hair glinting in the sun. Hushed talks in the serene light of the moon. Uncontrollable laughter, the kind that made your stomach hurt. Ronan didn't even realize he had fallen asleep until Fey gently brushed past him to get up and get her bag from the overhead compartment. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. The sky was already dark and the snow mostly stopped. He zipped up his winter coat and wrapped his scarf around his neck a few times before securing it. Fey was already dressed and was walking towards the train exit. He rushed to keep up with her and soon stepped onto the train platform. There were people everywhere, rushing back and forth or just standing on the platform bundled in layers of clothing. Ronan hailed a cab and Fey climbed into the front seat. He sat in the back and rubbed his chapped hands. As their cab drove along familiar roads, he pursed his lips. It was showtime.