Imperfect Pieces

23. siblings

Siblings were a curious thing. 

Those who had them often complained about how annoying they were and it seemed like all they did was to make their lives difficult: a little brother using permanent markers all over their white bedroom walls, an older sister who constantly teased them, a twin who strived to be better in everything. These siblings made them scream in frustration and wish that they would disappear. Yet even after hearing these stories from friends with siblings, those who were alone in their family wished to have someone to be there for them, even if arguments happened every day. 

The reason behind that desperate yearning was perhaps this: despite how insufferable brothers and sisters and twins and half-brothers and step-sisters could be, at the end of the day they still care for you and you for them. It's not like this in every case, but that little flicker of protectiveness and love is still somewhere in their heart, even if it isn't evident.

Aubrey wondered about siblings a lot. She would watch them playfully shove each other in class, or watch her neighbor's kids taking turns pushing each other on the swings and her eyebrows would furrow. Then when she returned home, she would run up to her mom and demand that she gave her a little sister (She wanted someone to play legos with her). Her mom would chuckle a bit and lift Aubrey into her lap, and she would tuck a blonde curl behind Aubrey's little ear and whisper with a gentle smile, "I don't want another daughter. You're all I need."

At the time, Aubrey was satisfied enough with this answer. She figured that her mother simply decided there was no way she could love another child as much as she loved Aubrey. As the years went by though, she came to understand that it wasn't that her mother didn't want more children. It was that she couldn't. One day after bugging her mom about a little sister as usual for the millionth time in 6th grade, she saw her mom cry. It wasn't very loud, but to Aubrey it felt like she was witnessing her mom screaming at the edge of a cliff. From that moment on, she never asked her mom for a little sister again.

However, that yearning for another soul to be in her family never went away and was buried somewhere deep inside of her. Once in a while it would come out and send little pangs of loneliness into her heart. During her middle school graduation, Dani's older brother watched the ceremony with the rest of the parents. Aubrey had never talked to him before, but had heard plenty about the terrible things he did to her best friend when they were younger (stuffing Dani into a washing machine was one of the more mild things). She happened to glance over to him as they received their cheap, plastic trophies and she saw so much pride and love in his eyes that it was hard to believe this was the same person that Dani described. 

Another time, in the beginning of her freshman year, she saw two girls standing in the office. They were around the same height, the girl to the left with short, cropped hair and the other with hair flowing to her shoulders. Aubrey figured they were just sisters, but when they turned around and showed their identical bright, pale faces, she realized that they were twins. Fetuses from the same womb. Sisters that were connected for life. Aubrey found that very cool and made a point of being the first to introduce herself to the duo. 

The day she finally came to terms with being sibling-less and sister-less was the day of her high school graduation. Aubrey was still wearing her gown, the matching black cap resting beside her on the glossy bench. She was looking at her school building, the place where she endured thirteen years of pain and boring lectures and cramming information.  It looked just like it always did- with it's peeling white paint and ivy crawling over the roof, a broken slide in the courtyard, and the faded sign above the blue door, the words "Marsong Academy" painted in beautiful calligraphy. The sight had always made her groan and sigh and throw tantrums as her dad drove her up to the entrance. 

On this day though, she was supposed to feel free. Instead all Aubrey felt was a sort of emptiness and fear. She had already gotten accepted into a decent college and packed up most of her things, but she wasn't quite ready yet to leave everything she knew behind. It made her feel pathetic and lonely and she tried her best to blink back the tears, knowing that she was acting like a doofus right now. "Aubrey? Hey, you alright?" She looked up to see the concerned faces of Lily and the twins. 

"I'm alright... just feeling a little homesick already." 

Mel sat down next to her, throwing a tanned arm behind her neck. Her lips curved into a little smile, her eyes focusing on the building in front of them. "We had some good times there, didn't we?"

And they really did. Aubrey had known Dani since kindergarten. Her childhood had consisted of playing legos and Barbies with her, running through sprinklers during the summer and making blanket forts in Dani's living room, whispering to each other little secrets. Then the twins came along in high school and soon they became the inseparable quartet. Passing notes to each other during class, shopping for prom, countless inside jokes, making each other laugh when someone was feeling down, and just being there for each other every step of this perilous journey. That journey was now coming to an end and a new one was beginning. Dani was going to Virginia, Mel to UCLA and Annie to Berkeley. It's been a good adventure, Aubrey thought to herself. 

Dani raised an eyebrow at them and smirked in a typical Dani-like fashion. "Now don't get all teary eyed on me girls, we're gonna see each other again. If you guys don't call, I'll personally come and drag you guys to New York."

Annie shook her head, but there was that sparkle in her eyes that Aubrey would always remember. "Of course. I mean, it's not like anyone will ever compare to the Finger Squad, eh?"

Aubrey stood up from the bench, grabbing her graduation cap. "Not in a million years." And with that declaration, she tossed the cap into the air. Of course, this dramatic move would have worked a lot better if she wasn't like 5 feet away from the ground and if the cap hadn't hit an innocent couple nestled in the grass for a picnic, but she didn't care. School was over (at least for a while. She was thinking about taking a gap year) and she had the best sisters she could ever ask for just a click of the mouse away.

 "Group Skype calls, alright?" Aubrey yelled as she made her way to the car where her parents were waiting. The other girls saluted her. As she looked out of the car window, watching as her friends and school and teachers and classmates disappear and grow smaller and smaller until they faded away, she smiled to herself and turned around to face her parents who were currently bickering about where to go celebrate. ("What about that nice Chinese place near the supermarket?" "No! I'm so sick of fried noodle. The taco truck is just around the corner." "Honey, we were just there last night." "So? We like tacos.") Aubrey rolled her eyes, knowing that they would end up going to the little pasta shop across from their house, and that afterwards they would buy ice cream in the park and sit in the gazebo. 

"The weather's nice today, isn't it?" she mused, glancing at the clear blue sky. 

Her father hummed in agreement, not taking his eyes off the road. "Are you excited for college? High school will seem like a piece of cake compared to what's ahead."

"There'll be weeks that you won't sleep at all because of all the work you have to do," her mom piped in. 

"Wow, thanks guys. You make your only daughter feel so reassured." Her parents both chuckled. "We're here!"

After that, it was a blur of pasta and milkshakes and cars zooming by as they sat in the small gazebo. Aubrey licked her triple vanilla ice cream cone and sighed with content. So maybe she didn't have a brother, or a twin sister, or even any cousins that were her age. She did have parents, amazing friends, pasta and vanilla ice cream. Who needs siblings when you have all of that and more?

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a/n: some good news: i have a bunch of stuff written that can be posted once i edit them a bit. some are extremely short but yeah haha i hope you enjoy them anyways.